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2023/2024 Football/Soccer Thread ⚽️

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FOOTBALL​

🥄 Ey lad, and it’s 3 Jaegers for a fiver on Tuesdays​

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A few weeks ago, Newcastle midfielder Sandro Tonali was sobbing into his Birra Moretti, staring up at the grey August sky and dreaming of Mama’s home-cooked carbonara.

The Italy international reportedly burst into tears when AC Milan flogged him to the Magpies, and looked utterly miserable stepping out into the biting North Sea wind a few days later.

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But fast forward a month and Sandro’s gone fully native.

After starring in Newcastle’s 5-1 win over Aston Villa last weekend, Tonali settled in for ham, egg and chips and a pint of Brown at the Job Bulman Wetherspoons in Gosforth.

How long till he’s 40 stone topless on boxing day, swinging his shirt over his head in the Gallowgate End.
 

FOOTBALL​

😡 Cris cross​

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Even after winning his first trophy for Al Nassr, Cristiano Ronaldo threw a hissy fit when he didn’t get man of the match.

He did score twice to be fair…
 
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FOOTBALL​

🤦 Caught Nap-ing​

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For more than a decade, terrifying mafia honcho Vincenzo La Porta was listed as one of Italy’s 100 most dangerous fugitives.

After fleeing his hometown of Naples, the Italian mobster spent 11 years on the run, living off tinned sardines and collected rain water, before setting up shop under an assumed identity on the Greek island of Corfu.

It was all sunshine and spanakopita until last May, when Vincenzo’s beloved Napoli sealed their first Serie A title in three decades.

Hearing jubilant fans celebrating in a restaurant below his apartment, Vincenzo couldn’t resist popping out onto the balcony to join the party.

Unfortunately for La Porta, pictures of the festivities ended up online where he was recognised by Italian police.

He was arrested a few days later.
 
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