Good or Bad Parenting: "If Someone Hits You, Hit Them Back"

BlackRain said:
the lesson can't and shouldn't end there
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That's all that niggas care about

HIT THEM BACK!!!! I'LL BEAT THEIR ASSES MYSELF!!! FUCK THOSE KIDS AND THEIR MOMMAS!!!!

People parent angry. And it's a detriment to society. All day every day we run into people with absolute no conflict resolution skills. And instead of trying to make the next generation better.... It just gets double downed.
 
Just make sure to tell your child you're proud of them when they get sentenced in court
 
Duwop said:
That's all that niggas care about

HIT THEM BACK!!!! I'LL BEAT THEIR ASSES MYSELF!!! FUCK THOSE KIDS AND THEIR MOMMAS!!!!

People parent angry. And it's a detriment to society. All day every day we run into people with absolute no conflict resolution skills. And instead of trying to make the next generation better.... It just gets double downed.
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In a thread about whoopings I mentioned that it was always weird to hear parents brag about whopping their kids like a source of pride. I never got that shit. Alot of that also boils down to many people don't view children as actual people with their own thoughts but that's a whole different conversation
 
Tayboo said:
IMO all conflict resolution goes out the window once someone puts hands on you.
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We don't live in a fair world.

Some school cop breaks my son's arm, chokes him out, or slams him to the ground for defending himself. Imma have a problem.

A kid was throwing stuff at my daughter, and she grabbed him by both ears and screamed in his face until she was outta breath. Scared the fuck outta the little boy, but she was so shaken up she had to be picked up and didn't want to go to school for several days.

I know my kids will defend themselves, but I would prefer them to go to a responsible adult, and if they can't find one, let me know. And I'll go to bat for them. But I do not want them trying to match energy with some silly ass kid who think shit is funny or a game.

So unless my children are in danger they feel the can not walk away from, I always tell them to find an adult, or just flat out leave the classroom. And go to the office themselves. I'd rather that than a fight, and I have no problem backing them from removing themselves from a volatile situation.

My son is a 3 sport athlete with a 4.0 on the principals honor roll. I do not want him fucking that up cuz a fight with some kid who couldn't keep their hands to themselves. If you see them as a threat you can't control, yes... Defend yourself at all costs. But if you KNOW this is some silly shit you can walk away from... Fuck them kids, get outta there. And let me know. I will step in.

It's just not as simple as "hit them back" and again parents flat out REFUSE to see it that way.
 
AP4.0 said:
I think the goal is to avoid this from happening at all costs

BUT

If it gets here despite those efforts then everything is game
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Agreed. If it's just an argument or someone is picking at them, then yes telling an adult in school and/or me is the best option. But I'm never going to tell my kids to not defend themselves.
 
Tayboo said:
Agreed. If it's just an argument or someone is picking at them, then yes telling an adult in school and/or me is best option. But I'm never going to tell my kids to not to defend themselves.
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I don't think anyone in this thread is suggesting that but to Dus point, we need more emotionally regulated children. We need to teach them the art of conflict resolution as a first result not after the fact

We are all in agreement that when pressed, absolutely defend yourself. Won't be no turned cheeks at all
 
AP4.0 said:
I don't think anyone in this thread is suggesting that but to Dus point, we need more emotionally regulated children. We need to teach them the art of conflict resolution as a first result not after the fact

We are all in agreement that when pressed, absolutely defend yourself. Won't be no turned cheeks at all
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If these altercations start verbally, that's one thing and deescalation has a part to play here. However I'm willing to bet most don't and that is where "if someone hits you, hit them back" most often comes into play.

I know that was the case for me. I'd be chillin out on the playground and some lil jackass starts some shit by pushing me or something like that. That's when "if someone hits you, hit them back" rears its head and I'd find my ass in the principals office. Which was fine 'cause the incidents of repeat issues with niggas was quite low after "if someone hits you, hit them back".
 
BlackRain said:
There is definitely something to be said for the balance of teaching your children to protect themselves vs conflict resolution and when to recognize when each skill is needed. So yeah there's nothing wrong at all teaching your children to strike back...but the lesson can't and shouldn't end there
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^^ This. It's a tough situation to manage. Ideally I would want my children to practice conflict management, but I also want them to protect themselves if need be. I'd be a hypocrit if I told them not to fight back because all bets are off if someone puts their hands on me. It's a slippery slope trying to handle these types of situations while not passing on potentially harmful lessons we were taught. There really is no "one solution fits all" imo, but I'd encourage them to practice restraint and diplomacy if possible.
 
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