The Queen of Accountability is running wild out here....

Duwop said:
I don't think abandonment issues, and self worth issue due to a parents rejection she stupid reasons. I've watched that shit constantly break people over and over again. I think she definitely needs therapy. Not another person to abandon and reject her.
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That all may be true, but the therapy should have started the moment she considered replacing her father with the absent deadbeat. Not after she essentially destroyed her family so she could trend online for 30 minutes.

That's really where we are today. People don't have real human emotions that they know how to articulate. They only know their feelings in relation to how they are viewed through media and peers. People don't know what to do with their feelings anymore which is why you see so many ridiculous stories shared these days. There's no shame and no common sense.
 
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Duwop said:
I struggle with that, because when you are in parental mode, you tend to place your feelings on the back burner to support the child. It's one day. Not her entire life. That father may be gone again in a couple months. He may be horrible at being a grandfather and do the same shit to her kids as he did to her... It is a cycle. So me....I would still wanna be there in the event she still needs me to be there if dude continues his pattern of behavior after getting it together for one day.
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I agree. My children's wants and needs come before my own easily. And I don't agree with cutting them off and adding to what's clearly abandonment issued already affecting them. I just also can see the reality of why somebody's feelings would be hurt to feel as if you are being replaced especially in such a monumental moment in their lives
 
Loneshot said:
That all may be true, but the therapy should have started the moment she considered replacing her father with the absent deadbeat. Not after she essentially destroyed her family so she could trend online for 30 minutes.

That's really where we are today. People don't have real human emotions that they know how to articulate. They only know their feelings in relation to how they are viewed through media and peers. People don't know what to do with their feelings anymore which is why you see so many ridiculous stories shared these days. There's no shame and no common sense.
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With that understanding. You don't cut her off. It's one day. One ceremony. She still has a entire life outside of that day. And to cut her off outta spite imo goes against truly being there for her and helping her navigate thru life.

I'll even give consideration to feelings being hurt, as long as it's understood that still being there after this day shows much more reliability and safety than peacing out because she made a bad call on a highly stressful day.
 
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BlackRain said:
I agree. My children's wants and needs come before my own easily. And I don't agree with cutting them off and adding to what's clearly abandonment issued already affecting them. I just also can see the reality of why somebody's feelings would be hurt to feel as if you are being replaced especially in such a monumental moment in their lives
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Is it really that monumental of a day if it's this much drama behind it already.?

My early read is this day is going to be a shit show. And honestly, if you opting to go with the absent father.... Yeah.... This gonna be one of those days you gonna need to reflect on. And I would definitely rather be there in the aftermath and assure her that there's no hard feelings, and I'll always be there. Than cut her out of my life cuz my feelings got hurt.
 
Duwop said:
Is it really that monumental of a day if it's this much drama behind it already.?

My early read is this day is going to be a shit show. And honestly, if you opting to go with the absent father.... Yeah.... This gonna be one of those days you gonna need to reflect on. And I would definitely rather be there in the aftermath and assure her that there's no hard feelings, and I'll always be there. Than cut her out of my life cuz my feelings got hurt.
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Most people consider their wedding day pretty monumental
 
Duwop said:
So the fuck what??

Like, for the life of me I don't understand the entitlement there. Ok, your feelings hurt.... Get the fuck over it.

Niggas need to be celebrated is ridiculous.

If I know I'm not the natural father if a little girl I helped raise and she wants her natural father at a graduation, wedding, what the fuck ever .....I honestly am would just fall back and let them celebrate the way they wanna celebrate. It's not my day, it's her day. Let her have the day she wants.

I'm not gonna be vindictive, heart broken, feel betrayed, none of that shit. If the nigga alive and can participate... I'm happy for both of them.

Mainly because she even wants him there, and he's able to get his shit enough together to show up. If it was really as bad as bro NEVER being there.... That's a huge gesture on her, and a huge win for him. I'm happy for both of them to be honest. I actually wanna see that little girl have a relationship with her biological dad, I understand that I'm just a fatherly figure... But that's not my child, and I'm cool with that.

If anything I would feel awkward standing in for a nigga that's alive and healthy enough to show up...I would be relieved that she was able to patch things up, or come to whatever understanding was necessary for this to happen.

I see this as a good thing for them. Not a slight to me.

Niggas be selfish as fuck and in their feelings about goofy shit.
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Then she ask her dead beat dad to pay for it
 
Duwop said:
With that understanding. You don't cut her off. It's one day. One ceremony. She still has a entire life outside of that day. And to cut her off outta spite imo goes against truly being their for her and helping her navigate thru life.

I'll even give consideration to feelings being hurt, as long as it's understood that still being there after this day shows much more reliability and safety than peacing out because she made a bad call on a highly stressful day.
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You're right. I'm more patient than that. But the thought of this happening pisses me off lol. I would lowkey just make sure the other dude couldn't make it to the wedding and be like "see..."
 
BlackRain said:
Most people consider their wedding day pretty monumental
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And a lotta people have shit show weddings that they realize after the fact.

I still find it hilarious, that no one saved us the top of the cake.

One of my groomsmen didn't show up the day of and an usher had to step in.

We didn't realize until the rehearsal, that I didn't actually have any living grandparents and made some old people from the church and neighborhood stand in so it looked even.

Shit can go left. It's not always perfect. Sometimes it's a complete shit show. You do your best, and get thru it. Anything can happen.
 
Duwop said:
And a lotta people have shit show weddings that they realize after the fact.

I still find it hilarious, that no one saved us the top of the cake.

One of my groomsmen didn't show up the day of and an usher had to step in.

We didn't realize until the rehearsal, that I didn't actually have any living grandparents and made some old people from the church and neighborhood stand in so it looked even.

Shit can go left. It's not always perfect. Sometimes it's a complete shit show. You do your best, and get thru it. Anything can happen.
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It being a shitshow doesn't mean it's not monumental lol.
 
Chi-Town B said:
I'm sorry but if I raised a kid from childhood to adulthood when their biological dad was never there and they pick biological dad over me I'm going to feel a way and act accordingly.
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On code
 
Chi-Town B said:
You just ok with being disrespected
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No, I just don't put myself over the bride. Let her have the day she wants. If I was there before, I'm be there after. One day doesn't define my relationship.

He can have that day especially if she wants him there.
 
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