Until recently, unsuspecting viewers tuning in early for the big lunchtime kick-off on Sky Sports might have been confronted by two men with wigs and unconvincing geordie accents persuading a bemused former gameshow host to chip tomatoes into a bucket with a golf club, or a deranged Danny Dyer impersonator bellowing “keep me nut daan” at the shellshocked staff of a provincial museum. This was Soccer AM at its best, unlikely heir to the junior anarchy of Tiswas and Going Live!, flying the flag for Great British silliness long after former host Tim Lovejoy had defected to the beige tide of cook’n’chat shows.
From its inception in the mid-90s, Soccer AM understood that professional footballers are mostly tedious creatures and it would be wise to develop an independent comedy framework on which to hang that week’s soccer chat. With several hours to fill each Saturday, elaborate running gags were allowed to flourish. Apart from the emergence of hulking former Hull City striker Dean Windass as an excellent comic foil, it got to a point where there wasn’t much football on the show, which was precisely the appeal to all those jaded by wall-to-wall analysis, but evidently a concern for the Sky Sports bosses, gatekeepers of the priceless Premier League product. Soccer AM had become too irreverent. And as we all know, football isn’t a matter of life and death; it’s much more expensive than that.
And so, at the beginning of the last season, the daftness was dialled right down to bring it in line with the rest of the network’s blaring, nuance-free football coverage. The vibe was transformed from “hungover flatshare” to “hi-tech gym”. Giggly presenter Max Rushden was replaced by John “Fenners” Fendley, who conducted earnest chats with lad bands perched on fake flight cases. Loose-cannon interviewer Tubes stopped ripping his shirt open at film junkets in favour of ingratiating fist-bumps with Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain. Even the car-park challenge, where teams of tubby supporters squeezed into replica kits tried to kick balls through a hole, was tediously professionalised with the introduction of a proper goal and goalkeeper.
The old show may have been juvenile and occasionally boorish – as recently as 2015, a “Soccerette” was still being paraded around the studio in skimpy shorts – but for the most part its goofy larks helped undercut the win-at-all-costs macho posturing that still permeates football culture. Now, with its emphasis on skills challenges and “Sunday league hacks”, Soccer AM is in danger of taking itself far too seriously.
The last straw was when long-serving Helen Chamberlain left last year to be replaced by more blokes. We are now staring at a wall of charcoal Superdry knits. With no one around to puncture male egos, the banter has taken on a desperate quality. With its running time slashed, Soccer AM can’t be long for this world, probably to be replaced by something more closely reflecting the rest of Sky’s football coverage while falling in step with the contemporary blandness of Saturday morning TV. Wonder if Gary Neville can cook?
United played schitt and just like Arsenal went 2-0 down (funny it was against Palace brightons rivals) but showed what needs to be done, get the win still by any means...
I know theres been Wenger out movement for years, but its really gone into overdrive now, the whole world seems to be saying its time for Wenger to go, what a schitt way to leave the club... He did revolutionise football, dude should listened years ago and went out with more dignity...
United played schitt and just like Arsenal went 2-0 down (funny it was against Palace brightons rivals) but showed what needs to be done, get the win still by any means...
This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
