Is It Insecurity Or Not.....Vol 1

[ChicagoFigure]

If u think it might bring unnecessary drama its not insecure.

Ur boy wont look at her as 'your girl' but rather 'his ex' which brings a whole diff dynamic to the circle.

If u dont care, do u. But to ignore that is like saying fuck context.

 

[shutupGabi]

All the male answers is on some "We probly talked about fuckin you"....Nothin about integrity or scruples or nunna that. All ego lololol

 

[ChicagoFigure]

Ive seen this play out firsthand in 3 diff situations.

In only one of em did it end in marriage

But in all 3 was an eventual total fallout between the guys who were friends before the girl came into the picture usually set on by the guy who wanted the sloppy seconds.

 

[Chicity]

I didn't say ya friends ex, just someone they smashed

Maybe more than once. No more than 5x

 

[mryounggun]

It's just not the same when the other person they used to smash is a friend.......or even an associate for that matter.


It might not be that serious to you, but it wouldn't feel right to me.

Naw, I feel you. I totally get it. I respect it. Most would say the same. But all you said here is that 'its just not the same' and that 'it wouldn't feel right'.

How is it not the same? How is it different? What specifically about the fact that you know them makes you unable to handle it. Describe this 'feeling' you're talking about. Serious questions.

 

[ChicagoFigure]

I didn't say ya friends ex, just someone they smashed

Maybe more than once. No more than 5x

Shit then still no

If i put myself in the shoes of the guy who had my friends girl in jump off status before they dated i know what would be gojng thru my head even if i kept it respectful

 

[shutupGabi]

Naw, I feel you. I totally get it. I respect it. Most would say the same. But all you said here is that 'its just not the same' and that 'it wouldn't feel right'.

How is it not the same? How is it different? What specifically about the fact that you know them makes you unable to handle it. Describe this 'feeling' you're talking about. Serious questions.

I just know for me once a friend deals with somebody in any romantic capacity you become off limits in my mind. I dont even find you attractive anymore (if I ever did in the first place).

 

[deadeye]

Naw, I feel you. I totally get it. I respect it. Most would say the same. But all you said here is that 'its just not the same' and that 'it wouldn't feel right'.

How is it not the same? How is it different? What specifically about the fact that you know them makes you unable to handle it. Describe this 'feeling' you're talking about. Serious questions.

It's just not for me bruh.


There's just some lines you just don't cross.


And....for me....this is one of them.

 

[mryounggun]

It's just not for me bruh.


There's just some lines you just don't cross.


And....for me....this is one of them.

I dig it.

 

[deadeye]

Ive seen this play out firsthand in 3 diff situations.

In only one of em did it end in marriage

But in all 3 was an eventual total fallout between the guys who were friends before the girl came into the picture usually set on by the guy who wanted the sloppy seconds.

To me, it says just as much about the girl as it does the dude.


Meaning, why would she even consider dating one of her ex's friends?


Seems kinda foul to me.


Almost as if she's doing it to get back at or ex or provoke some kind of reaction out of him.

 

[Breezy_Kilroy]

I don't see how insecurity plays a role. For me it's just something I won't do.

 

[Love]

How can it be insecurity?

 

[deadeye]

Tell you what though, dude who started "dating" his friend's ex better not get mad if his friend ends up smashing again during their relationship.


He'd do good to just chalk it up as a learning experience/teachable moment and move on.


Simply because he wouldn't have anyone to blame but himself for being in that situation to begin with.

 

[King Freeman]

I won't even talk to a chick I know my nigga is interested in. Certain shit is just off limits.

Sloppy seconds definitely a non starter.

 

[Old Man Cain]

Do you think it's insecure if a person refuses to date someone they friend use to smash?

We have a term in my circle of friends for this very situation.

No matter what you never want to be "great go behinder". Meaning you don't want or shouldn't want to be that guy who smashed behind the homie.

 

[SeaSnake]

Do you think it's insecure if a person refuses to date someone they friend use to smash?

No. I’d try and beat if it’s been long enough tho

 

[Duwop]

It's ego forreal.

I used to work with this dude, and me and him were cool af. Still are.

We not in the same circle no more cuz I kinda fell back after leaving the job and getting married n all that. But every time I saw this nigga it was all love. Last time I saw him might have been a couple years, but it was during that time when everybody was doing those freeze challenges. They did one at his house, an it was mad folk from the old job. So I went by when I got off work at 2am...

It was dumb late, most people left or was sleep, but it was still a bunch of them still up and chilling, so I hung out for like an hour before going home.


I said all that to say this. For a good while, his main girl was a chick I messed with maybe a year or two before they got together.

Was it akward at times? A little. But not enough for anyone to make an issue of it. I mean I never made an issue. And I don't think they did. I hope to God they didn't, cuz it really wasn't that serious.

The only way that's a problem with everyone acting mature is ego. Like I never felt any kind of way about homie wiring shorty up.... She was a damn good chick. Cute as hell, mad intelligent. All that.

Like me and homie was cool as shit, and I wouldn't fault him or any of my homies for scooping up a good chick like her.

But if they didn't, cuz they knew I messed with her a few times... That's on them. I understand. But it's ego.

The only reason it would ever be an issue is if the person in the relationship made it an issue because their ego created a conflict.

I think most normal people would never try to dump on two good people who want to be in a relationship.

That's considering both the chick you smashed and your boy are both good people.

 

[mryounggun]

It's ego forreal.

I used to work with this dude, and me and him were cool af. Still are.

We not in the same circle no more cuz I kinda fell back after leaving the job and getting married n all that. But every time I saw this nigga it was all love. Last time I saw him might have been a couple years, but it was during that time when everybody was doing those freeze challenges. They did one at his house, an it was mad folk from the old job. So I went by when I got off work at 2am...

It was dumb late, most people left or was sleep, but it was still a bunch of them still up and chilling, so I hung out for like an hour before going home.


I said all that to say this. For a good while, his main girl was a chick I messed with maybe a year or two before they got together.

Was it akward at times? A little. But not enough for anyone to make an issue of it. I mean I never made an issue. And I don't think they did. I hope to God they didn't, cuz it really wasn't that serious.

The only way that's a problem with everyone acting mature is ego. Like I never felt any kind of way about homie wiring shorty up.... She was a damn good chick. Cute as hell, mad intelligent. All that.

Like me and homie was cool as shit, and I wouldn't fault him or any of my homies for scooping up a good chick like her.

But if they didn't, cuz they knew I messed with her a few times... That's on them. I understand. But it's ego.

The only reason it would ever be an issue is if the person in the relationship made it an issue because their ego created a conflict.

I think most normal people would never try to dump on two good people who want to be in a relationship.

That's considering both the chick you smashed and your boy are both good people.

And this is kinda why I say it's usually insecurity. I feel like the root of all silly actions that niggas take because of ego stem from insecurity.

 

[Duwop]

And this is kinda why I say it's usually insecurity. I feel like the root of all silly actions that niggas take because of ego stem from insecurity.

I wouldn't call it insecurity.

Cuz I don't think it has anything to do with thinking the guy still has access to his woman....

I think it's the delusion that some how they're being mocked or played. And that's just ego IMO

 

[mryounggun]

I wouldn't call it insecurity.

Cuz I don't think it has anything to do with thinking the guy still has access to his woman....

I think it's the delusion that some how they're being mocked or played. And that's just ego IMO

But I don't mean that specific. There are other sorts of insecurity besides thinking someone else still has access to your woman. I mean ego in general. Like usually the people who have a huge ego and can't recognize it or reign it in are insecure with themselves in some sort of way.