Golden
Administrator
u mentioned that u were an only child n ur wife had siblings? i think that might be a factor. thats my guess anyway.
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Aye man, they don't call me Goldie for no reason b
Golden
Administrator
that's not a woman thing though, I've personally encountered men who get offended when you have reservations or conditions about moving in together because you like your space.
people generally like norms. the norm is for long term couples or married people to live together and kiss privacy goodbye for the most part. so yes, finding someone who (like you) wants to do things differently might be hard. that goes for men and women tho.
yea i grew up a only child, and my mother is very private as wel...
growing up we'd both stay in our rooms literally all day....when it's just me and her there we'd go days sometimes weeks without bumping into each other....it's always been like that with us, which is why i never minded moving back home....we literally never see each other..
Judge Dread
Active Member
You will know she is the right person when you no longer concern yourself with your statement above.
that pimp shit only work on young girls.....
when they get 30, they don't even be giving fuck no more....
This could play a role in you loving to be alone. My son is an only child and he hates being around people for a long time. When he visits his grandparents, he always ends up in the media room alone just doing him and be annoyed when his cousins come in bothering him. He wants siblings but I think he would lose his damn mind.
Golden
Administrator
I disagree, my wise friend. someone can be right for you but you might still be you.
I can love someone fiercely and still want solitude here and there. keeps the balance.
See you think what's right for one is right for all. I know my personality, it can be Beyonce, I'm still gonna need my privacy. It aint something I want, it's something I need in order to make shit work.
So it's not about how special she is or how much I'm in love with her, it's about me being able to function properly mentally, I need it.
that's me to a T
i love to have fun, but when i'm done...i'm done...
i used to sit by windows, or on the porch, just to be alone whenever i was over cousins houses....and when it's time to go to bed....i can't stand niggaz still being up n shit
lol, it aint about pimpin. It's all mental and that has nothing to do with age.
In any relationship, there's gonna be compromise, especially if you truly love them. If the woman I'm dealing with really understood this is for my mental health, then she would work with me. If she's not willing to I'd understand.
Golden
Administrator
I knew I could never have roommates because of this lol
took on a side hustle just to get a single room @ college.
My son be ready to go. Mama can we leave yet? In the house, he chills in the living room alone. When I do go in there to chill, he's cool with it for a little bit and be making hints that he wants me to leave. I respect it and give him his space and he got his rare days when he wanna be all in my face.
Judge Dread
Active Member
I don't think is necessarily a right person for all but I hope that you are blessed with someone that you don't require that much space from and I completely understand the need for space because that has been the biggest adjustment for me personally. My wife says there are times when we are in the same room but she knows I am someplace else. I cherish my Fridays because that is the day I usually drive and that is my only alone time. I like to be completely alone. I have always been my own best friend. But I hate to spend anytime away from my family that is not necessary.
Funny enough, on the Dr Dre & Jimmy Iovine Documentary called Defiant Ones (great documentary), Jimmy's wife talks about dealing with somebody like him (thinkers/creators) who need their time alone mentally to reboot and she understood when you're dealing with a person who's a creator, it's necessary.
Again, this isn't for everybody, I get that, but it's necessary for me.
Again, this isn't for everybody, I get that, but it's necessary for me.
Judge Dread
Active Member
There is a difference between here and there and planned weeks. I am happy when my wife goes out and I put my son to sleep and get a couple of hours just reading without interruption but I knew having a child that was one of the things I would be giving up. You can't tell a child look son I know you want to play but I need this space right here.
i think the most difficult part, is that i 100% want my wife around....
but at the same time i wanna be alone, patrice o'neal described this shit better than anyone ever described it ever
well not the not liking part, i love and like my wife, like it's so hard explaining it..cuz i really like her around...... but i be like everything else he said had me dying cuz i relate like allll the way
but at the same time i wanna be alone, patrice o'neal described this shit better than anyone ever described it ever
well not the not liking part, i love and like my wife, like it's so hard explaining it..cuz i really like her around...... but i be like everything else he said had me dying cuz i relate like allll the way
Judge Dread
Active Member
There are personality types that match. So I am sure you will find someone that understands your needs. But I would say you can't turn it off when it comes to child.
Golden
Administrator
I think a young child and a partner shouldn't be put in the same convo imo. the break seems like it's more from your significant other, not the kid/s.
a week away from a child of mine would be hard. a week away from a live-in partner, that would make me miss them but it'd be beneficial for the relationship.