DOS_patos
Unverified Legion of Trill member
just so its no confusion:
https://www.marketwatch.com/Story/i...or-money-2018-06-20?&siteid=yhoof2&yptr=yahoo
Everyone is pressuring me for money. My success has caused strife, greed from others and sadness for me at every turn. I have been fortunate to become a successful small business owner. My assets exceed over $5 million. One would never know it due to my non-flashy lifestyle (used cars, modest home, etc.).
I fathered a child after one date in my teens. The mother was from out of state. I tried to be responsible and provide what I could at that time. Two years after he was born, I was asked to not contact the mother anymore. She was getting married to someone that would accept my son as his own. Since I was only 19 and she lived across the country, I didn’t fight it.
For many years, I always wondered how he was doing and carried guilt. I searched for him over the years, but couldn’t find him. I even stashed U.S. savings bonds for him before my success, thinking that I could help him with college.
Fast forward to 2012, my son’s mother was getting a divorce and she found me. I not only discovered my son, but discovered I was a grandfather to a 9-year-old girl!
I arranged to meet them in their state. I had a wonderful time, and paid for everything including my son’s mother and her extended family. I never mentioned my financial situation and kept that low key. (As I always do.)
Shortly after meeting them, my son and his wife came to visit me. Somehow, he discovered I had resources. That’s when the requests for help started. He always seemed to have problems with his car, paying his rent and maintaining a job.
Within a little less than a year, I had probably spent $10,000 on lots of little emergencies. My son would ask for money as a loan, but always had a worse situation come up needing more with an excuse for not paying me back.
I also have two brothers that are not doing well financially and an elderly mother living on a fixed income. All of them, including my mother, are always asking for me to help them with needs.
My wealth was not handed to me. I worked hard and have pinched pennies all my life. I don’t wear designer clothes, go out to eat regularly and I never needed to have the newest iPhone.
Everyone else is the opposite. They drive cars they can’t afford and make financial decisions I would never dream of. Every time I help someone in my family, someone else feels they have been left out.
I recently stopped helping all of them, except for my mother. I reduced my generosity with her to just covering her needs. You would think I was the most awful person in the world. (I should say, I am made to feel like I am awful).
The comments are hurtful. They say that I am selfish, lucky and I don’t need the money I have. It is relentless. Even the mother of my child, who I have only seen once in 33 years, called me asking for $20,000 to start her own business.
She told me what an awful person I was because I was not around to care for my son. My brothers say I don’t care about them or my own mother even though I pay her rent and expenses. I reduced my mom’s money because my brothers still ask her for money!
What can I do or say to let everyone in my life understand that I love them, but I am not an ATM machine? I wonder if things would have been the same if I had spent my money on myself instead of always helping everyone else?
I am so frustrated. I have a notion to reflect my feelings in my estate.
What would you do?
https://www.marketwatch.com/Story/i...or-money-2018-06-20?&siteid=yhoof2&yptr=yahoo
Everyone is pressuring me for money. My success has caused strife, greed from others and sadness for me at every turn. I have been fortunate to become a successful small business owner. My assets exceed over $5 million. One would never know it due to my non-flashy lifestyle (used cars, modest home, etc.).
I fathered a child after one date in my teens. The mother was from out of state. I tried to be responsible and provide what I could at that time. Two years after he was born, I was asked to not contact the mother anymore. She was getting married to someone that would accept my son as his own. Since I was only 19 and she lived across the country, I didn’t fight it.
For many years, I always wondered how he was doing and carried guilt. I searched for him over the years, but couldn’t find him. I even stashed U.S. savings bonds for him before my success, thinking that I could help him with college.
Fast forward to 2012, my son’s mother was getting a divorce and she found me. I not only discovered my son, but discovered I was a grandfather to a 9-year-old girl!
I arranged to meet them in their state. I had a wonderful time, and paid for everything including my son’s mother and her extended family. I never mentioned my financial situation and kept that low key. (As I always do.)
Shortly after meeting them, my son and his wife came to visit me. Somehow, he discovered I had resources. That’s when the requests for help started. He always seemed to have problems with his car, paying his rent and maintaining a job.
Within a little less than a year, I had probably spent $10,000 on lots of little emergencies. My son would ask for money as a loan, but always had a worse situation come up needing more with an excuse for not paying me back.
I also have two brothers that are not doing well financially and an elderly mother living on a fixed income. All of them, including my mother, are always asking for me to help them with needs.
My wealth was not handed to me. I worked hard and have pinched pennies all my life. I don’t wear designer clothes, go out to eat regularly and I never needed to have the newest iPhone.
Everyone else is the opposite. They drive cars they can’t afford and make financial decisions I would never dream of. Every time I help someone in my family, someone else feels they have been left out.
I recently stopped helping all of them, except for my mother. I reduced my generosity with her to just covering her needs. You would think I was the most awful person in the world. (I should say, I am made to feel like I am awful).
The comments are hurtful. They say that I am selfish, lucky and I don’t need the money I have. It is relentless. Even the mother of my child, who I have only seen once in 33 years, called me asking for $20,000 to start her own business.
She told me what an awful person I was because I was not around to care for my son. My brothers say I don’t care about them or my own mother even though I pay her rent and expenses. I reduced my mom’s money because my brothers still ask her for money!
What can I do or say to let everyone in my life understand that I love them, but I am not an ATM machine? I wonder if things would have been the same if I had spent my money on myself instead of always helping everyone else?
I am so frustrated. I have a notion to reflect my feelings in my estate.
What would you do?
