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Would You Be Content With Being Single?

Very interesting question. It's a rare kind of love that can last to the grave, rare to the point where imo it's the exception not the rule.

Plus religion aside, I feel that people tend to forget that our life span is much longer than it used to be so being married until death even for healthy adults wasn't typically 50, 60 years. Not saying there aren't people that are married for decades until death but I think in our current society you will see less and less of this and I don't think it is necessarily a bad thing.
 
I think there is something to be said here.
If you have low self-esteem, you should not be trying to enter into a relationship.
POINT. BLANK. PERIOD.
as @BNE said, doing your Innerwork is so important.
Often we get into situations with people and expect them to fix us.
Expect them to love away our shortcomings and misfortunes and that's just not that case.
Its also very unfair to the other person.

Nobody is perfect, we all have our flaws but there is a thin line between love and emotional manipulation.
Being in a relationship with an insecure partner can really affect your health and self-esteem.

My mother is a brilliant, bright, beautiful woman.
When she got with my dad she lost so much of herself, she grew cold because my father had so many emotional insecurities that he brought her down. He changed her life.
I saw a man destroy a woman's world because he didn't do his innerwork.
I saw a woman participating in the destruction of her life because she spent so much time trying to "fix" someone else.


I've made excuses for a lot of men...
"he has daddy issues"
"he was hurt so many times in the past"
"the last woman in his life did him greasy so this is why he doesn't trust me"
and it was emotionally draining. I started losing myself trying to "fix" my partner.
Trying to show them what real love looks like and feels like.
I don't have that type of time anymore.
I'm 27 now and I don't have time to make excuses for other peoples inadequacies.
SHIT IS SHIT.

Also how can you love someone else if you don't love yourself?
How you want me to love you and you dont even love you?
How you want me to be cool with you and youre not even cool with you?


Look, stop running from yourself and clean up your mess.
Handle your fucking business!!!
Because I'm not going to do it for you.


This was me and it took me awhile to get back to myself after I left.
 
Plus religion aside, I feel that people tend to forget that our life span is much longer than it used to be so being married until death even for healthy adults wasn't typically 50, 60 years. Not saying there aren't people that are married for decades until death but I think in our current society you will see less and less of this and I don't think it is necessarily a bad thing.
Everything you said. Plus, marriage meant something different in the past. People married more frequently for reasons that had nothing to do with affection, usually out of financial need or familial expectations/duties. Marriage was just what you did when you were of age, it wasn't even a question of IF you'd do it. If a marriage didn't start due to love, and divorce was frowned upon back then, it's not surprising that people would stay together to the grave more frequently considering the standards they went into it with. It wasn't romanticized back then, it was practical. Now there's notions of love and romance attached to it, which isn't a bad thing but I can see why it might be viewed as such by the "no divorce at any cost, it's a social ill, make it work" camp.
 
Everything you said. Plus, marriage meant something different in the past. People married more frequently for reasons that had nothing to do with affection, usually out of financial need or familial expectations/duties. Marriage was just what you did when you were of age, it wasn't even a question of IF you'd do it. If a marriage didn't start due to love, and divorce was frowned upon back then, it's not surprising that people would stay together to the grave more frequently considering the standards they went into it with. It wasn't romanticized back then, it was practical. Now there's notions of love and romance attached to it, which isn't a bad thing but I can see why it might be viewed as such by the "no divorce at any cost, it's a social ill, make it work" camp.
I think relations last longer with a little bit of need mixed in. Your want may fade but need last longer. My grandparents loved each other for sure and as a child I based all relationships on them but as I got older and heard stories about their relationship I knew there was a whole lot of need. They were also raised in a different time and maybe because of roles now and everyone wanting to be equals people don't need each other anymore. But there are people in this thread that are bringing the need back because when they get sick someone has to call 911.
 
I think relations last longer with a little bit of need mixed in. Your want may fade but need last longer. My grandparents loved each other for sure and as a child I based all relationships on them but as I got older and heard stories about their relationship I knew there was a whole lot of need. They were also raised in a different time and maybe because of roles now and everyone wanting to be equals people don't need each other anymore. But there are people in this thread that are bringing the need back because when they get sick someone has to call 911.
My problem with relationships based on need is that people are more willing to overlook things, which isn't a good thing in my personal view.
 
Your relationship should be completely based on need but a little doesn't hurt.

What do you define as a little?
@BNE back df up off my reactions b
no
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lol, my moms prolly gonna rock it out single too.. she was married twice, and prolly was at her wits end with her last bf...that ended around 2000...

she's turning 66 next week, i think she's done... but if she was to find someone at this advanced age, i'd support the hell out of it... but i highly doubt it....

relationships take a lot of compromise, and she's way too stubborn and stuck in her ways
 
There are things that I am not good at that she does very well. Also, being with each other allows us to complete some of our individual goals that would be much tougher to do alone. I am not even going to list the parenting things that I need her for. Also Omega balances Alpha so it is natural to not only want her but to need her.
 
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