COMMUNITY Which lesson's do you let your child learn on their own?
- Thread starter TTBF
- Start date
Depends on their personality. With me I was an observer so I learned from watching. My siblings learned from doing...so my Dad had to adjust accordingly. With mine...he's also a trial and error type so sometimes if it won't be too bad of a result I'll let him fuck up then we talk about why he did what he did...what he learned and why it wouldn't be smart to do that act again.
mryounggun
OG
I've been struggling with this quite a bit lately.
ImaInfluenza
Who do you think you are? I am
I look at it like this, everything my children learn, they learn on their own. I take my inspiration for fatherhood from God. Every lesson god has taught me, I’ve learned on my own.
God has yet to tell me exactly how I should do something. He’s told me what’s best for me to do, he’s provided examples of the possibilities of what can happen. He’s shown me what success can look like and what failure can look like.
He’s helped me understand myself, and understand how to understand others. And then he steps back and says, figure it out. And when I make the wrong decision. He allows me to experience the set back, gives me wisdom to gain from it, and protects me from the worst of it.
And then he lets me experience it, again and again, and again. Until ..it’s no longer a lesson and more of an understanding. A concept that I get, and can implement in my life until it becomes so instinctual that I don’t even actively realize that I’m doing it.
I do the same with my kids, or I try to.
God has yet to tell me exactly how I should do something. He’s told me what’s best for me to do, he’s provided examples of the possibilities of what can happen. He’s shown me what success can look like and what failure can look like.
He’s helped me understand myself, and understand how to understand others. And then he steps back and says, figure it out. And when I make the wrong decision. He allows me to experience the set back, gives me wisdom to gain from it, and protects me from the worst of it.
And then he lets me experience it, again and again, and again. Until ..it’s no longer a lesson and more of an understanding. A concept that I get, and can implement in my life until it becomes so instinctual that I don’t even actively realize that I’m doing it.
I do the same with my kids, or I try to.
GOAT
🐐
Sprinkle them w game but let them make their own decisions.
The best lessons come from life experience.
If something happens that didnt go their way or work out talk it over and highlight mistakes made and how to improve next time in similar situations.
I try to guide and support but not control.
The best lessons come from life experience.
If something happens that didnt go their way or work out talk it over and highlight mistakes made and how to improve next time in similar situations.
I try to guide and support but not control.
Loneshot
Active Member
Replace "God" and "he" with freedom or life, and I pretty much agree. I am a believer that all of life is an imitation of itself. There are few lessons that cannot be learned from listening to and studying others. All paths have already been tread upon infinitely by this point in time; I tell her she has little to learn from speaking more often than when she's listening or learning.
TheNightKing
J.A.P.A.N.
Trying to teach my 19 year old son how to manage money and be self sufficient so when he be dumb with his money I let him stay broke.
I made him get a full time job and pay rent/bills this summer.
He’s grown up privileged so he doesn’t like to live within his means. He’ll learn sooner or later.
I made him get a full time job and pay rent/bills this summer.
He’s grown up privileged so he doesn’t like to live within his means. He’ll learn sooner or later.
The purpose of a family is to transfer knowledge from generation to the next, so they don't have to start from scratch.
Most things in life are universal and transcends culture, place and time. We already found those things out. People learn on their own out of over estimating their ability to change how life works.
I was the primary caretaker for my sister's kids.
Every time there was situation where they wanted to deviate from my instruction and learn on their own, I told them they are gonna find out how stupid they are. I told them what was going to happen, why it was going to happen that way and how they are going to feel afterwards.
Then they'll come running back and apologizing, feeling dumb for wasting their time.
The lesson wasn't to not make their own decisions. The lesson wasn't to not make their mistakes. The lesson was understanding that most things in life isn't new and uncharted territory. Don't be foolish, believing you are going to change how things are by deviating from tried and true wisdom. That's the cause of unnecessary suffering and pain.
Most things in life are universal and transcends culture, place and time. We already found those things out. People learn on their own out of over estimating their ability to change how life works.
I was the primary caretaker for my sister's kids.
Every time there was situation where they wanted to deviate from my instruction and learn on their own, I told them they are gonna find out how stupid they are. I told them what was going to happen, why it was going to happen that way and how they are going to feel afterwards.
Then they'll come running back and apologizing, feeling dumb for wasting their time.
The lesson wasn't to not make their own decisions. The lesson wasn't to not make their mistakes. The lesson was understanding that most things in life isn't new and uncharted territory. Don't be foolish, believing you are going to change how things are by deviating from tried and true wisdom. That's the cause of unnecessary suffering and pain.
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TheNightKing
J.A.P.A.N.
Intelligent people learn from their own mistakes, wise people learn from the mistakes of others.
I got this quote from Charlamaine Tha God, but it applies.
Wisdom requires callouses, to be wise is to find your threshold. Everyone is going to try to buck the system and be the one to break through.
But most people don't have the stamina to suffer through experimenting with new ways of living and valuing and truly make it into a viable path for the average person to aspire for.
The older we get, the more conventional we become because our tolerance for road rash and scars reduce. We have real shit to worry about like bills, debt, aging family members, and unexpected deaths.
Lol, people that ask me for advice, I always say, what's your limit for suffering?
How much time do you have to experiment and explore uncharted waters that most people back away from because it's too fucking hard?
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