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OPINION When is it safe to let the walls down?

When is it safe to let someone in 100%

  • Once we say "I love you"

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Years after marriage

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Total voters
    6

Duwop

Savage Garden ⬛
Mod Squad
I feel like we are have safe guards or walls put up to protect ourselves from bring hurt in relationships.

But in order to truly trust someone we have to let them in at some point?

Right?

What say you?

Do you every totally trust someone?

Like full 100% trust?? All your secrets?? Insecurities?? Show them the safe combinations and all that? ATM pin numbers??

I mean pre-nups do exist. Where do you stand?
 
I used to build a wall up and never be open. Now I'm 100% open I'm going to let you know all my faults day 1. I have always been a introvert in a relationship.

Surprisingly it's been refreshing to let someone in
 
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i am a strict need to know type shit.

i dont trust too many people with everything.

matter of fact....i dont trust no one with everything.

like the homie merlin(@Zagreus ) said.....compartmentalize

its just better that way
 
It's less shit to worry about when you keep it 100.

I feel like if my wife burn me she fucked up, cuz it takes a lot for one person to give this much of themselves.

It's rare. I'm fairly certain I'd never find it again. But I would sincerely wish her the best if she chose to betray that trust for another. Cuz again it's rare.


We perfectly good btw... Just letting my brain spin
 
i am a strict need to know type shit.

i dont trust too many people with everything.

matter of fact....i dont trust no one with everything.

like the homie merlin(@Zagreus ) said.....compartmentalize

its just better that way
I'd hate to live like that
 
I’m going back to letting my guard down after a long time. I’m swerving and ducking like a mf. I tried to do something different and it didn’t work, so it’s back to my way or the highway. So, I can at least say I tried.
 
I feel like we are have safe guards or walls put up to protect ourselves from bring hurt in relationships.

But in order to truly trust someone we have to let them in at some point?

Right?

What say you?

Do you every totally trust someone?

Like full 100% trust?? All your secrets?? Insecurities?? Show them the safe combinations and all that? ATM pin numbers??

I mean pre-nups do exist. Where do you stand?
Oddly, outside of my mama. It’s two people I trust 100%.
 
So, I can at least say I tried.
to me, if you're not willing to open up and give your all is it even a try?

i mean that's reason enough for me right there... if i ever lose someone i can never question myself i i KNOW i gave it my all..

but if i know i held back... then how can i blame the other person? i was never playing it 100 to begin with.......

so i just go hard or go home....
 
getting married, for myself and a lot of men, is that exactly

jumping out of a plane w/ no parachute, because she said its a soft landing....and really trusting that

there's not much else you can guard after that....if you're lying about who you are or living a secret life that just speaks to how you really feel about that person and relationship

she's got all the power to make or break me rn and vice versa...and im cool with it
 
to me, if you're not willing to open up and give your all is it even a try?

i mean that's reason enough for me right there... if i ever lose someone i can never question myself i i KNOW i gave it my all..

but if i know i held back... then how can i blame the other person? i was never playing it 100 to begin with.......

so i just go hard or go home....
Oh I give my all every time. However, normally it would be after awhile of getting to know them. I tried to go with the flow when the flow was moving fast and it just ain’t work. So I’m just gonna do what I been doing, which is take my time and open up little by little.
 
I'd hate to live like that
see heres the thing...
i understand myself and i also understand whats and whos around me.

i am not a super aggressive dude nor am i a guy who likes to confront someone over every little thing.

so i keep things apart.

to me....if one thing falls then it can possibly be a domino effect.

i am alos very private with things.

niggas always say im vague as shit. or something doesnt add up..

guess what ...i like it like that.

people dont need to know exactly who you are.

and to be honest...you never truly know a person.

we are all who we think we are, who people see us as and who we want people to see.

and placed in the right situation......it can change the core of who you thought you were.
 
ok so yall just saying in general or in a relationship???

cuz fuck everybody else lmao

I dont trust a soul and go to great lengths to keep shit private
 
ok so yall just saying in general or in a relationship???

cuz fuck everybody else lmao

I dont trust a soul and go to great lengths to keep shit private
i think we are speaking more in relationship terms.
 
see heres the thing...
i understand myself and i also understand whats and whos around me.

i am not a super aggressive dude nor am i a guy who likes to confront someone over every little thing.

so i keep things apart.

to me....if one thing falls then it can possibly be a domino effect.

i am alos very private with things.

niggas always say im vague as shit. or something doesnt add up..

guess what ...i like it like that.

people dont need to know exactly who you are.

and to be honest...you never truly know a person.

we are all who we think we are, who people see us as and who we want people to see.

and placed in the right situation......it can change the core of who you thought you were.
so if having a confident you can trust in isn't an ultimate goal.. what do u look for out of a relationship??
 
ok just checking

Dos had me second guessing lol

I just wouldnt be with nobody
 
to me every relationship should constantly progress....

50-60 years isn't that long relatively speaking.........

we don't look at a 50 year old person and go "HOLY FUCK!!!"

but a 50 year marriage....yea, u wanna know how that worked....at least i do.....
 
so if having a confident you can trust in isn't an ultimate goal.. what do u look for out of a relationship??

well....
marriage is always a work in progress.
i never said it wasnt the goal.....i trust my wife alot. but sometimes you have to be realistic.
that is not a strike against her....i just know her better than she thinks i do.

case and point.
couple 1: if your wife has a spending habit and no control over it.....why would i give her access to every dollar?
couple 2: if you know your lady cant keep a secret, would you tell her pillow talk about your homie cheating on his lady?

now....couple one may be able to keep secrets to the grave but when she has the card...she going crazy.
and couple 2 may be able to save money, but she like the 6 oclock news.

controlling the situation by understanding whos around you.

inb4 any of you niggas claim yall would lock shit down and make shit right and yadda yadda.
some people just have their weaknesses...and we all grown.
will you keep fighting until they do as you like? or will you just limit certain things to keep the peace.
 
to me every relationship should constantly progress....

50-60 years isn't that long relatively speaking.........

we don't look at a 50 year old person and go "HOLY FUCK!!!"

but a 50 year marriage....yea, u wanna know how that worked....at least i do.....
i do as well. i always talk to older couples to hear their stories.
i also talk to older widowed people. it puts alot into perspective.

i once was told by this lady to not fight about small shit. just try to control as much as you can to keep peace.
she told me she fought with her husband for years about traveling and vacations and how they couldnt afford what he wanted to do and that she would never get on a plane. he wanted to do it for her but she kept fighting. she told me he died like the previous week. and thats why she was on the plane, going to see the world he wanted to give and show her. hearing her voice crack fucked me up. but i took her advice and didnt let the small shit stress me anymore.

but yes.....i often pay for an older black couples meal when i go out without them knowing. because you never know their struggle. and if they are still together ...that needs to be celebrated. even if they just met on old niggas dot com....just reaching a certain age and being black should be celebrated.

but back on topic.
 
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