Mister B. M. Ed.
The Devil’s Greatest Advocate…..
So, if you black, you've always heard of this thing called the "Cookout", a hypothetical 'picnic' where the best and brightest from the World of Melanin would gather and fellowship.
But we always wonder: who can go, who can't, and where would they sit?
I got a solution to it.
100 tables - Outside of Table 1 (Head Table) and Table 5 (Golden Legends Table), each table has 10 spots to fill. Tables past 60 will open up one slot for a non-celebrity (we gotta promo this thing SOME way).
Head Table - Only seats 7. These would be considered the biggest, most loved, and most recognizable as well as influential of Black America/The World, no matter the industry. Each table then goes from there.
Golden Legends - Also seats 7. Reserved for the best of us that are now 70+ that has shown continuous decades of Black Excellence.
So, I got some ideas on invites:
Head Table (T1) - The Obamas (Just Prez and the FLOTUS), Jordan, Oprah, Serena, Bron, and at this point Sen. Maxine Waters....with the last slot left open, which I'll explain later.
Table 2 - Dr. Dre, Kendrick (One space is always reserved at this table for the reigning King of Hip-Hop), Steph Curry, Magic Johnson, that's all I can think of for now.
Golden Legends (T5) - (By the way: these seats are permanent once they get there, unless severe coonin happens. Like Supreme Court seats.)
Stevie Wonder, Aretha Franklin, Bill Russell, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, U.S. Rep John Lewis, Sidney Poitier, Harry Belafonte
Notables:
Sports:
James Harden - T4, Kevin Durant - T9, Colin Kaepernick - T7, Jim Brown - T11 (downgraded from the Legends Table), Antonio Brown - T10, Odell Beckham - T14, Usain Bolt - T6, Hank Aaron - T13. (As soon as someone dies from T5, he's got the first spot), Simone Biles AND Gabbi Douglas - T8, Shaq - T20. (Charles Barkley's invite has been rescinded due to a very high coon level.)
Music:
The Carters - If Beyonce comes solo, she sits at the Head Table. She can't bring Hov with her. He's reserved for T4. However, they can BOTH choose to be together at T2 however.
Puff - T3, 50 - T19, Aubrey - T8, Nas - T9, J. Cole - T17, Sade - T62, Jill Scott - T28, E. Badu - T23, Migos w/Cardi - T17, Nikki - T8, Joe Budden - T60,
Wu-tang hijacked T36 (Get it?) for all them + Redman.....and no one's going to object to it.
Ye can't come anymore. I'm putting R. Kelly at T50, and letting the black women chase his ass out. (LOL)
Film/TV:
Shonda Rhimes - T4, Angela Bassett - T15, Idris Elba - T16, Michael B. Jordan - T25, Chadwick Boseman - T21, Viola Davis - T17, Chris Rock - T9, Dave Chappelle - T9, Kevin Hart - T6, Spikies - T25, Wesley Snipes - T67, Halle - T38
Radio:
Charlamane - T25, Angela Yee & Envy - T44 (LOL) Desus & Mero - T52, Ebro - T32
Science and Politics:
Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson - T9, Dr. Cornell West - T42, Sen. Kamala Harris - T11, Sen. Cory Booker - T19,
Literary Artists:
Toni Morrison - T15, Michael Eric Dyson - T9, Ta-Neishi Coates - T30
Notable Caucasian invites:
Eminem (Yes, Slim is invited) - T6
Michael Rapaport - T52
Shaun King....LOL - T81
Prince Harry (w/ Megan Markle, of course) - T20
Coach Pop - T13
-----------------------------------------------------------------
So, who would you say goes to the cookout? Where do they sit?
I need slots for:
Mike Tyson
Tiger
Common
Lil' Kim
Ice Cube
Wayne
Venus Williams
Lisa Leslie
Allison Felix
Jennifer Hudson
Robert DeNiro
Larry "Legend" Bird
and countless others....
And who can't come....other than the usuals:
Larry Elder
Clarence Thomas
Jason Coonlock
Pill Cosby (he was at T5, too....damn shame)
Dr. Ben Carson
Candice Owens
Stacey Dash
Y'all letting Raven-Simone back in or nah?
Now, feel free to add invites and their seating. One thing: they must be still ALIVE. I know y'all wanna put Prince, BIG, Bob Marley, Pac, and Whitney in somewhere, but they're watching down on it.
But we always wonder: who can go, who can't, and where would they sit?
I got a solution to it.
100 tables - Outside of Table 1 (Head Table) and Table 5 (Golden Legends Table), each table has 10 spots to fill. Tables past 60 will open up one slot for a non-celebrity (we gotta promo this thing SOME way).
Head Table - Only seats 7. These would be considered the biggest, most loved, and most recognizable as well as influential of Black America/The World, no matter the industry. Each table then goes from there.
Golden Legends - Also seats 7. Reserved for the best of us that are now 70+ that has shown continuous decades of Black Excellence.
So, I got some ideas on invites:
Head Table (T1) - The Obamas (Just Prez and the FLOTUS), Jordan, Oprah, Serena, Bron, and at this point Sen. Maxine Waters....with the last slot left open, which I'll explain later.
Table 2 - Dr. Dre, Kendrick (One space is always reserved at this table for the reigning King of Hip-Hop), Steph Curry, Magic Johnson, that's all I can think of for now.
Golden Legends (T5) - (By the way: these seats are permanent once they get there, unless severe coonin happens. Like Supreme Court seats.)
Stevie Wonder, Aretha Franklin, Bill Russell, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, U.S. Rep John Lewis, Sidney Poitier, Harry Belafonte
Notables:
Sports:
James Harden - T4, Kevin Durant - T9, Colin Kaepernick - T7, Jim Brown - T11 (downgraded from the Legends Table), Antonio Brown - T10, Odell Beckham - T14, Usain Bolt - T6, Hank Aaron - T13. (As soon as someone dies from T5, he's got the first spot), Simone Biles AND Gabbi Douglas - T8, Shaq - T20. (Charles Barkley's invite has been rescinded due to a very high coon level.)
Music:
The Carters - If Beyonce comes solo, she sits at the Head Table. She can't bring Hov with her. He's reserved for T4. However, they can BOTH choose to be together at T2 however.
Puff - T3, 50 - T19, Aubrey - T8, Nas - T9, J. Cole - T17, Sade - T62, Jill Scott - T28, E. Badu - T23, Migos w/Cardi - T17, Nikki - T8, Joe Budden - T60,
Wu-tang hijacked T36 (Get it?) for all them + Redman.....and no one's going to object to it.
Ye can't come anymore. I'm putting R. Kelly at T50, and letting the black women chase his ass out. (LOL)
Film/TV:
Shonda Rhimes - T4, Angela Bassett - T15, Idris Elba - T16, Michael B. Jordan - T25, Chadwick Boseman - T21, Viola Davis - T17, Chris Rock - T9, Dave Chappelle - T9, Kevin Hart - T6, Spikies - T25, Wesley Snipes - T67, Halle - T38
Radio:
Charlamane - T25, Angela Yee & Envy - T44 (LOL) Desus & Mero - T52, Ebro - T32
Science and Politics:
Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson - T9, Dr. Cornell West - T42, Sen. Kamala Harris - T11, Sen. Cory Booker - T19,
Literary Artists:
Toni Morrison - T15, Michael Eric Dyson - T9, Ta-Neishi Coates - T30
Notable Caucasian invites:
Eminem (Yes, Slim is invited) - T6
Michael Rapaport - T52
Shaun King....LOL - T81
Prince Harry (w/ Megan Markle, of course) - T20
Coach Pop - T13
-----------------------------------------------------------------
So, who would you say goes to the cookout? Where do they sit?
I need slots for:
Mike Tyson
Tiger
Common
Lil' Kim
Ice Cube
Wayne
Venus Williams
Lisa Leslie
Allison Felix
Jennifer Hudson
Robert DeNiro
Larry "Legend" Bird
and countless others....
And who can't come....other than the usuals:
Larry Elder
Clarence Thomas
Jason Coonlock
Pill Cosby (he was at T5, too....damn shame)
Dr. Ben Carson
Candice Owens
Stacey Dash
Y'all letting Raven-Simone back in or nah?
Now, feel free to add invites and their seating. One thing: they must be still ALIVE. I know y'all wanna put Prince, BIG, Bob Marley, Pac, and Whitney in somewhere, but they're watching down on it.
Last edited:
