Second chances..
- Thread starter Eartha Clit
- Start date
Old Man Cain
OG
I do agree they should have a second chance. I was lucky enough to grow up in a two parent household so I know how it feels to be loved by two caring adults so I couldn't imagine not having that as a child the hurt it would cause.
Yet I still believe we all need to give at least one chance to the ones who hurt us to clear our own mind and demons.
Yet I still believe we all need to give at least one chance to the ones who hurt us to clear our own mind and demons.
I wouldn't judge anybody who wouldn't give their absentee parent a 2nd chance, cuz Idk how much pain that caused them.
I gave my pops a 2nd and 3rd chance. At this point in my life, it's not really a father and son relationship, more of a homie relationship where I catch up with him from time to time and that's cool with me.
I gave my pops a 2nd and 3rd chance. At this point in my life, it's not really a father and son relationship, more of a homie relationship where I catch up with him from time to time and that's cool with me.
Absentee parent can kick rocks, they're not needed at that point
The older I get the more I empathize or understand the circumstances. Life is hard out here and mfs make bad decisions. My pops always had a good heart, the nigga just made terrible decisions, so it's easier to empathize for a nigga like that, then a nigga who just aint shit and has a cold heart.
thats why no one would fault you if you chose to give him a chance or if you told him to kick rocks
the decision is up to you at that point. you can share as much or as little as you would like
case by case...
peoples feelings are their feelings.....they should be respected..it's like the one thing you're entitled to.
I'll tell the story of my pops real quick. then i'll get outta here.
My father was a piece of shit father. Dude was already married with two daughters when he got my mom pregnant. THey were essentially hang out and fuck buddies......
She knew he was married, but he stayed at his Aunts, nigga never went home. And he had a older son from a previous relationship, and never went to see that nigga either....so when my mom got pregnant she already knew what time it was....
she just gave me her last name, and never took dude for anything. told him his involvement was completely voluntary.....
so he just kinda popped up every now n then, normally to take me school shopping n shit, or maybe a movie.....
when i got older he'd sometimes see if i wanted to go hooping with him, but it was still here n there.....
then the crazy shit happened.... one of my sisters got pregnant....this was the second one to get pregnant but he actually beat the baby out of the first sister..so she miscarried.....then he beat her almost baby daddy half to death......so when the other sister got pregnant she fought him off with a knife cuz she didn't want him to bet her baby out too,.....he told his wife to choose between him or my sister...so he left them.....
as i've told before, when he left them he moved across the street from me in our old apartment....i was like 12/13...so i'm like great....my pops is across the street...we can finally bond.....
:idkb3:
man that nigga was a whole asshole.....after about 2 years of trying to force the shit, i was like fuck it....i ain't dealing with this dumb ass.....
by the time i was 18 i was 100% thru.....
the fire happened when i was in college, so by the time i came home from school, he had already left....
when i was in school my mom's found savings were gone, and her credit was shot...after investigation it came out that my father's girlfriend...that was living with him across the street from us, had stolen my mom's identity, and was going buck wild.....WHILE LIVING ACROSS THE FUCKING STREET FROM US.....we caught the bitch....she does like 9 months in jail or something stupid....and he moves the bitch RIGHT THE FUCK BACK IN!!!....man that fire was a godsend.....he had to go somewhere else...
so most of my adult life its been fuck that dude.....as i got older i stopped being hateful and just accepted the fact that he was a piece of shit dude....it wasn't personal it was like that with everybody....
in fact i realized it was a blessing we weren't that close...cuz the people he was really close to were more fucked up than i was .....my sisters????
he really fucked their whole lives up...their daddy issues are deep as shit.....
he used to beat them, pit them against each other, routinely tear down their self esteem... dude was a piece of work....
once i saw how bad he fucked them up, i was glad he wasn't more present in my life....cuz i'd prolly be fucked up right along with them....i jsut made the effort to be the husband and father he never was.....
i invited him to my wedding, he didn't come though....i think it was cuz he couldn't bring his wife...(the one who stole my mom's identity)
however when him and his wife renewed their vows he said he wanted all his kids there....i reluctantly went cuz one of my sisters went and she didn't think she could handle being there by herself, so she begged me to meet her there and support her....
when he got cancer i, was like...eh....
i mean i literally felt nothing....my brother came in town once, and they were having a little cancer party for him at a bar.....my brother, and the sister who went to the vow renewal were the only two he told, cuz they're the oldest two and were closest to him....
i ha
me and my other sister, the two youngest, we're the most distant.....but they dragged her along too....
i had no intentions of going, but this time the other sister begged me to come....i guess they both feel really uncomfortable around dude....
either way, he died around christmas....i didn't go to the funeral cuz i was bust at work, and i just didn't see the need to abandon a project i was working on and leave my team hanging for a funeral of a dude i really didn't fuck with like that....
people used to always try to get me to open up and ask hypotheticals like the OP about should i reach out to him, what if he reaches out to me?
like people want shit to be story book happy ending soooo bad....
sometimes certain people just don't fuck with certain people....and they don't want to....
dude died and never once asked for me, or tried to reach out, or none of that....and i'm glad... cuz it wouldn't have been real....
he really ain't give a fuck, and that's just how it was.....
if someone doesn't speak to a parent.....leave that shit alone....everybody aint gotta make up,cuz every body don't wanna make up.....
i was more relieved when he died than anything, cuz i never have to have anyone ask me that question of do i ever think i'll speak to him again...or do i want my son to meet him....you know all the shit people ask you when they think it's possible that yall might get over it...
this was no petty thing.....that dude was a piece of shit.....i had no interest in reconciling with him under no circumstances....
i was content with never speaking to him before, and i'm still content that i didn't....
my last words to him were at the cancer party.....
i asked him was he good, he said yea, i asked him does he have any regrets, he said naw....i was like iight, he was like iight... and that was it....
we all took a pic, he bought his kids a round of drinks, and went back to his friends and had their karaoke night
peoples feelings are their feelings.....they should be respected..it's like the one thing you're entitled to.
I'll tell the story of my pops real quick. then i'll get outta here.
My father was a piece of shit father. Dude was already married with two daughters when he got my mom pregnant. THey were essentially hang out and fuck buddies......
She knew he was married, but he stayed at his Aunts, nigga never went home. And he had a older son from a previous relationship, and never went to see that nigga either....so when my mom got pregnant she already knew what time it was....
she just gave me her last name, and never took dude for anything. told him his involvement was completely voluntary.....
so he just kinda popped up every now n then, normally to take me school shopping n shit, or maybe a movie.....
when i got older he'd sometimes see if i wanted to go hooping with him, but it was still here n there.....
then the crazy shit happened.... one of my sisters got pregnant....this was the second one to get pregnant but he actually beat the baby out of the first sister..so she miscarried.....then he beat her almost baby daddy half to death......so when the other sister got pregnant she fought him off with a knife cuz she didn't want him to bet her baby out too,.....he told his wife to choose between him or my sister...so he left them.....
as i've told before, when he left them he moved across the street from me in our old apartment....i was like 12/13...so i'm like great....my pops is across the street...we can finally bond.....
:idkb3:
man that nigga was a whole asshole.....after about 2 years of trying to force the shit, i was like fuck it....i ain't dealing with this dumb ass.....
by the time i was 18 i was 100% thru.....
the fire happened when i was in college, so by the time i came home from school, he had already left....
when i was in school my mom's found savings were gone, and her credit was shot...after investigation it came out that my father's girlfriend...that was living with him across the street from us, had stolen my mom's identity, and was going buck wild.....WHILE LIVING ACROSS THE FUCKING STREET FROM US.....we caught the bitch....she does like 9 months in jail or something stupid....and he moves the bitch RIGHT THE FUCK BACK IN!!!....man that fire was a godsend.....he had to go somewhere else...
so most of my adult life its been fuck that dude.....as i got older i stopped being hateful and just accepted the fact that he was a piece of shit dude....it wasn't personal it was like that with everybody....
in fact i realized it was a blessing we weren't that close...cuz the people he was really close to were more fucked up than i was .....my sisters????
he really fucked their whole lives up...their daddy issues are deep as shit.....
he used to beat them, pit them against each other, routinely tear down their self esteem... dude was a piece of work....
once i saw how bad he fucked them up, i was glad he wasn't more present in my life....cuz i'd prolly be fucked up right along with them....i jsut made the effort to be the husband and father he never was.....
i invited him to my wedding, he didn't come though....i think it was cuz he couldn't bring his wife...(the one who stole my mom's identity)
however when him and his wife renewed their vows he said he wanted all his kids there....i reluctantly went cuz one of my sisters went and she didn't think she could handle being there by herself, so she begged me to meet her there and support her....
when he got cancer i, was like...eh....
i mean i literally felt nothing....my brother came in town once, and they were having a little cancer party for him at a bar.....my brother, and the sister who went to the vow renewal were the only two he told, cuz they're the oldest two and were closest to him....
i ha
me and my other sister, the two youngest, we're the most distant.....but they dragged her along too....
i had no intentions of going, but this time the other sister begged me to come....i guess they both feel really uncomfortable around dude....
either way, he died around christmas....i didn't go to the funeral cuz i was bust at work, and i just didn't see the need to abandon a project i was working on and leave my team hanging for a funeral of a dude i really didn't fuck with like that....
people used to always try to get me to open up and ask hypotheticals like the OP about should i reach out to him, what if he reaches out to me?
like people want shit to be story book happy ending soooo bad....
sometimes certain people just don't fuck with certain people....and they don't want to....
dude died and never once asked for me, or tried to reach out, or none of that....and i'm glad... cuz it wouldn't have been real....
he really ain't give a fuck, and that's just how it was.....
if someone doesn't speak to a parent.....leave that shit alone....everybody aint gotta make up,cuz every body don't wanna make up.....
i was more relieved when he died than anything, cuz i never have to have anyone ask me that question of do i ever think i'll speak to him again...or do i want my son to meet him....you know all the shit people ask you when they think it's possible that yall might get over it...
this was no petty thing.....that dude was a piece of shit.....i had no interest in reconciling with him under no circumstances....
i was content with never speaking to him before, and i'm still content that i didn't....
my last words to him were at the cancer party.....
i asked him was he good, he said yea, i asked him does he have any regrets, he said naw....i was like iight, he was like iight... and that was it....
we all took a pic, he bought his kids a round of drinks, and went back to his friends and had their karaoke night
Damn Du.
IP360
Doctorate & Ph.D in Bootyology
I believe this 100%
SeaSnake
OG
No you dont deserve a 2nd chance unless you didnt know the kid existed. Get the fuck on. But you should try and reach out.
Race Jones
gangster. grace. alchemy
This whole post is a big ass contradiction.
Race Jones
gangster. grace. alchemy
Yes I think absentee parents deserve second chances.
I gave my father one and Im happy I did.
when I was growing up my father had a bad drug habit & suffered from a slew of mental health issues. my childhood was rough.
I remember being so mad at him & hating him for a long time. I hated myself too becuz I look just like him. I couldn't escape him
then it hit me---- that a lot of shit was eating at my father outside of his mental health issues. he was abused at an young age, grew up poor
had mad self esteem issues. growing up poor really affects ur mental health. he never felt good enough. he struggled a lot with that.
when I reached 18 I just decided to forgive him because anger and bitterness was just too big of a load to carry in my life. I was tired.
when you grow up with parents who suffer from mental health issues it's hard to have empathy for them because it's a never ending cycle!!
they do some foul shit, they apologize, they do it again the next day and repeat. you get tired and you just want to rid yourself of them
I use to feel guilty for not wanting to speak to my father when he was in jail or the hospital after having an episode. I was so exhausted
Yet I had to really learn my father not only as my "dad" but as Ronald, the man. I had to really work on seeing him as a full person. It took awhile
life is fucking rough man. I don't forgive him for the abuse, I forgive him for thinking that shit was normal. If that makes sense...
some of us have had awful parents. sometimes you have to take a step back and connect the dots on how they got that way.
sometimes life is about forgiving people for things they aren't sorry for.
I gave my father one and Im happy I did.
when I was growing up my father had a bad drug habit & suffered from a slew of mental health issues. my childhood was rough.
I remember being so mad at him & hating him for a long time. I hated myself too becuz I look just like him. I couldn't escape him
then it hit me---- that a lot of shit was eating at my father outside of his mental health issues. he was abused at an young age, grew up poor
had mad self esteem issues. growing up poor really affects ur mental health. he never felt good enough. he struggled a lot with that.
when I reached 18 I just decided to forgive him because anger and bitterness was just too big of a load to carry in my life. I was tired.
when you grow up with parents who suffer from mental health issues it's hard to have empathy for them because it's a never ending cycle!!
they do some foul shit, they apologize, they do it again the next day and repeat. you get tired and you just want to rid yourself of them
I use to feel guilty for not wanting to speak to my father when he was in jail or the hospital after having an episode. I was so exhausted
Yet I had to really learn my father not only as my "dad" but as Ronald, the man. I had to really work on seeing him as a full person. It took awhile
life is fucking rough man. I don't forgive him for the abuse, I forgive him for thinking that shit was normal. If that makes sense...
some of us have had awful parents. sometimes you have to take a step back and connect the dots on how they got that way.
sometimes life is about forgiving people for things they aren't sorry for.
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SeaSnake
OG
Not really. I think every deadbeat should try and reach out at least 3 times. But i dont think any kid is obligated to forgive them or talk to them. I always feel the offender should try and reconcile but the offended party does not owe them anything.
SeaSnake
OG
Its very rare but like kids born from one night stands and somebody may have been kept in the dark about the situation. Like i said its rare tho but ive heard stories like it before.
Race Jones
gangster. grace. alchemy
SeaSnake
OG
3 minimum. I figure after awhile if the kid not responding and flat out says fuck them then leave them alone. But if the kid decides to reach out the deadbeat should thank God and reconcile as best they can.