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Patriarchy

Goldie

Goldie

Kobe With The Pivot
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Do you feel it's a flawed system or that it's necessary?


Should the man be the head of the household?


Is it possible for the woman to the be the head of the household , while a man is present?


Has feminism ruined the family home?


I think feminism has confused women and is ruining the family structure as we know it, but I'll go into depth in another post. What are your thoughts?
 
I think the main issue is families that were forced into a matriarchal situation because of lack of a man by circumstance..NOT choice...

Families where big momma is running things ONLY because her man is not there for whatever reason. But she had to make shit happen regardless.

the reason i say that's an issue is because many of the women of the next generation adapt the attitude of "if my momma can do it, i can do it" way to early in the game.....i'm talking early like before they even have kids....

i legit knew a chick who had no kids, but was encouraging her man to get her pregnant just so she could raise the baby b herself...like she was trying to convince him it was cool that she was moving out of state, he should still get her pregnant, cuz she has no issues raising the baby by herself....


giphy.gif


a lotta these women are getting shit twisted and it's outta hand.....these women who ran the house weren't doing it cuz they wanted to.....if things had went the way they intended, they'd be taking the back seat and letting the man run the show.... there's a lot of truth to the statement behind every strong man there's a strong women,.......

these strong women that a lot of idolize didn't want to be single parents, they just owned it cuz they were strong women.....

but the goal should always be a patriarchy...

in the natural order of things, the man takes the lead and the woman follows.....


any perversion of that leads to dysfunction that is often passed through generations to the point it's considered generational curses......

i can't tell you how many women struggle being a dutiful wife to their husbands because they were raised in a family by single women.....shit's an legit problem in many homes.....
 
CS 100%

I also feel feminism is playing a huge role as well, it's becoming more common for women of this generation to adopt that mentality. They've fought for equal rights so hard (which i do agree they should have) , to now women are going to college and getting degrees more than men and blk women are making more than men, but that has resulted to things like being a good mother and wife being secondary for them.


Had this long rant about feminism but I'll save it for later or another thread lol
 
I agree with y'all but a lot of it stems from not having a male in the home to show how the home should be ran. So it's a lot of women out here who don't know any better. That's where I think that feminism shit kinda come from.

Me personally, I want the man to be the head of my house but I have no problem picking up the duties if he ever lost his job. Submit to your man even in hard times.
 
KandyPants said:
I agree with y'all but a lot of it stems from not having a male in the home to show how the home should be ran. So it's a lot of women out here who don't know any better. That's where I think that feminism shit kinda come from.

Me personally, I want the man to be the head of my house but I have no problem picking up the duties if he ever lost his job. Submit to your man even in hard times.
Click to expand...
my wife said we might have to be in the market for a wife # 2 in 2017,

how are you with housekeeping duties?
 
KandyPants said:
I agree with y'all but a lot of it stems from not having a male in the home to show how the home should be ran. So it's a lot of women out here who don't know any better. That's where I think that feminism shit kinda come from.

Me personally, I want the man to be the head of my house but I have no problem picking up the duties if he ever lost his job. Submit to your man even in hard times.
Click to expand...
strong willed and outspoken but still willing to submit to a jobless nigga. Just my type :ha:
 
Dupacalypse said:
I think the main issue is families that were forced into a matriarchal situation because of lack of a man by circumstance..NOT choice...

Families where big momma is running things ONLY because her man is not there for whatever reason. But she had to make shit happen regardless.

the reason i say that's an issue is because many of the women of the next generation adapt the attitude of "if my momma can do it, i can do it" way to early in the game.....i'm talking early like before they even have kids....

i legit knew a chick who had no kids, but was encouraging her man to get her pregnant just so she could raise the baby b herself...like she was trying to convince him it was cool that she was moving out of state, he should still get her pregnant, cuz she has no issues raising the baby by herself....


giphy.gif


a lotta these women are getting shit twisted and it's outta hand.....these women who ran the house weren't doing it cuz they wanted to.....if things had went the way they intended, they'd be taking the back seat and letting the man run the show.... there's a lot of truth to the statement behind every strong man there's a strong women,.......

these strong women that a lot of idolize didn't want to be single parents, they just owned it cuz they were strong women.....

but the goal should always be a patriarchy...

in the natural order of things, the man takes the lead and the woman follows.....


any perversion of that leads to dysfunction that is often passed through generations to the point it's considered generational curses......

i can't tell you how many women struggle being a dutiful wife to their husbands because they were raised in a family by single women.....shit's an legit problem in many homes.....
Click to expand...
Now du. You are the best internet father I could ask for but I deeply disagree with every bit of this post.

All the ones before mine, actually. This gonna be another The People vs. Horticulture tho lmao

Ima just say: y'all scapegoating black feminism when the inequality it's tryna address is the root of our problems

Sad
 
naw not really, there is just a huge misconception that needs to be addressed.....

there are many women who chose to be alone as their preference, however the ones that have a large family of children they birthed often go into that situation with a father to those children......

whatever the circumstances that removed that man may be, that was not the original conception as to ho they wanted to spend their life, and that needs to be properly addressed....

because they do influence women to not even want a man to be at the head of their family...when that's not even the mind set their role model had going into family life......

most of the "big momma's" were already married with children by the time they were 21 to husbands that were 10-20 years older than them.....

yea they held shit down cuz a lotta those dudes were dead and gone by 60, and their wives were still in their 40's with 3 + kids....

this is the exact scenario of a very large percentage of black families...
 
Dupacalypse said:
I think the main issue is families that were forced into a matriarchal situation because of lack of a man by circumstance..NOT choice...

Families where big momma is running things ONLY because her man is not there for whatever reason. But she had to make shit happen regardless.

the reason i say that's an issue is because many of the women of the next generation adapt the attitude of "if my momma can do it, i can do it" way to early in the game.....i'm talking early like before they even have kids....

i legit knew a chick who had no kids, but was encouraging her man to get her pregnant just so she could raise the baby b herself...like she was trying to convince him it was cool that she was moving out of state, he should still get her pregnant, cuz she has no issues raising the baby by herself....


giphy.gif


a lotta these women are getting shit twisted and it's outta hand.....these women who ran the house weren't doing it cuz they wanted to.....if things had went the way they intended, they'd be taking the back seat and letting the man run the show.... there's a lot of truth to the statement behind every strong man there's a strong women,.......

these strong women that a lot of idolize didn't want to be single parents, they just owned it cuz they were strong women.....

but the goal should always be a patriarchy...

in the natural order of things, the man takes the lead and the woman follows.....


any perversion of that leads to dysfunction that is often passed through generations to the point it's considered generational curses......

i can't tell you how many women struggle being a dutiful wife to their husbands because they were raised in a family by single women.....shit's an legit problem in many homes.....
Click to expand...


standing-ovation.gif
 
Edit: Way too long...lol my bad yall

My Nigga Du in here preaching the gospel.

I got caught up at work all day yesterday so didn't get a chance to respond. But what Du is saying is absolutely correct. My maternal grandparents were married 54 years before my grandmother passed from complications with heart disease. My grandfather worked 2 and 3 jobs for as long as I can remember holding it down my mother and her three siblings. My grandmother never worked a day in her life, and she was one of the most loving women I've ever met in my life. But there was not question that my grandfather was the head of his house and the family. And it wasn't because of patriarchy, it was just how it was. They loved each other dearly. My grandfather provided monetarily and my grandmother kept the house in order and provided in a nurturing and loving way. She was one of the best cooks I've ever come across. And my mother is just like her.

My grandfather was hurt for a fee years when she passed. He took it hard. But what can you expect when you spend 50+ years with one person? It was just a testament to how much he actually NEEDED her....thats family...


But on the other hand, my paternal grandparents were together for 43 years. Grandfather passed at 64 of renal failure. But my Grandmother ran that house. And it was hectic. As ive gotten older and talking with my pops, I now know why. They had a rocky relationship, but stuck together through it. They had separate rooms and everything lmao. Grandmother was one of 14 children and was the second oldest, so she always had maternal instincts, but being the one of the oldest she has a sense of responsibility and a duty to take charge early in life, and she never lost it....

My grandfather was a quiet man, but he was a hard worker and didnt what he needed to to to provide. He was a janitor for 48 yrs. He also did concrete work on the side, and was an avid gardener. But even though he worked as hard as he did, he seemed to let my grandmother run the show. This was the grandmother my brother and I spent the most time with growing up. And even though my grandfather was in the picture, he was distant at times because of the relationship he had with my grandmother. Plus he worked a lot and my grandmother didn't. So he wasn't around all the time. She was the rock for he immediate family too, being one of the older siblings, so there were always extended cousins around. She was a tough woman man. But she also had nurturing qualities. I still miss her....

The crazy thing is, all the animosity they had towards each other didn't matter when my grandfather got sick. His kidneys failed, and instead of putting him in a nursing home, my grandmother opted to have a dialysis machine put in their home and she would administer medicine an do my grandfather's dialysis treatments for him. She took care of him and it was really the first time their relationship resembled what I was used to seeing from my parents and maternal grandparents.

But thats family too.....

And i said all that to say this...the common theme there is despite thier differences, I felt love in both situations from both grandparents. And i was raised in a household with two parents. They just recently had their 30 year wedding anniversary. I'm absolutely a supporter of cohesive black families. I've seen the good that comes from it and the difference it makes. And I've also witnessed the struggles of being raised in a single parent household.

To me, a man or woman being in charge is irrelevant. As long as they are working together to provide for their family and raise well rounded children, that's what's important to me.

But shout out to those parents doing it dolo and still coming out on top. Just wish it weren't the case....
 
I've talked about this before with my best friend (she's married) and I was just like...nowadays society has advanced to the point where men and women don't necessarily NEED each other anymore. Men can keep up a home and raise kids, women can earn their own money and get guns and alarm systems and shit to protect their home and it's whatever. Whether that's a good thing or not, idk, but I really don't have time to be tryna adhere to my grandparents' idea of a strong relationship and family anymore. Ima take the lead on some things, he gon take the lead on other things and we keeping it pushin. Mutual respect is literally the only thing I give a fuck about in a relationship anymore lol
 
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