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OPINION Message vs the messenger

AP3.0

AP3.0

Bucket hat Dad
Site Administrator
So what's the deal y'all

Does it matter what's said or does it matter who is saying it?

Example

Relationships

A married person vs a divorced person

Children

Someone with kids vs someone with no kids

Let's discuss
 
Goldie said:
Good question.

Ofc it matters. A broke mf can't tell me how to make money, a nigga with no bitches can't tell me how to get bitches, a mf on his 5th marriage can't tell me how to sustain a long marriage, etc.
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A broke dude can tell you what not to do to go broke though

A dude in his 5th marriage can give you perspectives on the different relationships that he's been in though. But I'm kinda with you, after 2 just chill and date lol
 
Long Beef said:
A broke dude can tell you what not to do to go broke though

A dude in his 5th marriage can give you perspectives on the different relationships that he's been in though. But I'm kinda with you, after 2 just chill and date lol
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But if homie's STILL broke, he hasn't figured it out himself. He can tell me how HE fucked up, but he can't tell me how to remain rich tell he's done it himself.
 
Goldie said:
But if homie's STILL broke, he hasn't figured it out himself. He can tell me how HE fucked up, but he can't tell me how to remain rich tell he's done it himself.
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He just can't tell you how to make the money though

Now,I guess on a deeper level, can this dude be receptive to someone trying to tell him how to discontinue his misfortunes and try to turn it around
 
Long Beef said:
He just can't tell you how to make the money though

Now,I guess on a deeper level, can this dude be receptive to someone trying to tell him how to discontinue his misfortunes and try to turn it around
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If i'm rich and he's broke and aint really tryin to hear you fam.

Imagine a nigga who can't get a woman to save his life sittin a playa type nigga down like "yo, let me teach you how to get women"

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This ain't one of them times to be difficult for the sake of being difficult

The messenger matters
 
Yea it does. Unless its some common sense shit. But they can tell me what not to do. I def not going to my dad on how to handle relationships.
 
I think it’s possible to get experience thru somebody’s else’s failures but with kids it’s a little different...if you’ve never had kids or don’t have kids you can’t tell me shit about them....but pretty much everything else open to interpretation
 
Someone with no children can’t tell me shit about them. Idgaf if you think you’re giving good advice or whatever the case, you ain’t got kids so you just won’t understand.

A broke mf can tell me what not to do then again his ass might not even know what he doing wrong.

Nah don’t tell me shit unless i ask.
 
When it came to kids i always said "i cant say shit i dont have kids"

Now that i have a kid i feel like that 10x more towards ppl who dont.

As far as money u can learn from a broke mf what not to do ie make excuses, constantly complain, blame others, down to very specific actions they took that i now know not to.

Cuz even a mf with money can try to give u advice that u dont even realize is too high above your understanding that u wont actually grasp it until u reach that position, much like having children.
 
Would you let a homeless person tell you how to decorate your house?

With kids...I think that's different. My aunt never had kids, but she help raise a few of my cousins. So I would think someone in that position has a right to give the kind of advice another parent would give.

Marriage is no different than a regular relationship imo. Only difference is that its comes with legal paperwork. You ain't gotta be married to have kids. You don't have to be married to live together. So why can't you take common sense advice from someone who isn't married but in a relationship?
 
I recently came to a decent understanding of how to weigh out messenger vs message.

Some people say "just because a person is fat and unhealthy does not mean they can't be a good personal trainer or that their information is bad". This is true. In the same way, just because someone is strong and fit does not mean they have great information or technique about how other people can also be strong and fit. However, when a person who does not have a good way of differentiating bullshit from true knowledge is forced to make a decision about whether or not what someone says is true, then they need to look for evidence. If someone is a fat personal trainer, but they have clients that they have helped successfully, that looks good on them when you can see that evidence. But if you can't see their clients, and the personal trainer is fat, then what proof is there that they have any expertise? It seems like there is none. Similarly, if a man in a failing marriage gives you marital advice, unless he can show you some evidence, like a mutual friend who followed his advice and saved his marriage, then you don't have good evidence to believe them. You are taking a gamble if you take what they say at face value.

Both are important. When someone has no other evidence to prove that they have some expertise, then their own personal situation is definitely something we should judge. If their personal situation suggests they're not knowledgeable, I wouldn't fuck with their advice.
 
Im always willing to listen to any advice,wether i do anything with it is a diffirent story..but i wont automatically dismiss someone because they arent or havent been in the same spot as me
 
It doesn't hurt to hear people out. A lot of people think with their emotions instead of using logic. They feel if the messenger has not walked in the other person's shoes, the messenger shouldn't say anything. The message could be %100 right but they don't want to hear it come from a particular messenger. It also depends on the delivery. Let us use the parent and kid example. Say I see my friend's kid always acting up at home and is hyper active. It would be wrong of me to say "you need to do this or you need to do that". What I would do is ask what the kid likes to do. Say he/she enjoys cartoons. One could say something on the lines " I heard about this app that teaches people how to draw and create cartoons. If you are interested, I can get the program for you if you think your kid might like it". I'm not coming off as a jerk if I said the second example. The first example, sounds like I am assuming the parent is not doing anything to work on the bad behavior.
 
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