Judge Dread
Active Member
ESPN Televises Slave Auction for NFL Players and Wait, Are We Sure the Confederates Actually Lost?
Damon Young
33 minutes ago
Filed to: NFL
1.7K
134
screenshot ESPN
After watching a clip of an ESPN fantasy football bit, where a group of white men “buy” black players from an (also white) auctioneer, I couldn’t help but ask that, if this was the idea that received the go-ahead to produce, what the fuck else was on that producers’ meeting whiteboard? A tongue-in-cheek skit where Odell Beckham and Antonio Brown juke and jab and shake away from cops trying to tackle them? An ironic sketch where Von Miller and Aaron Donald dive on and pick up fumbles, but the footballs are actually a naked Allison Williams and a syrup-dipped Tomi Lahren? A really clever segment where Cam Newton is in the huddle with his team, but instead of calling out plays he’s teaching his lineman how to hambone? A pithy “man-on-the-street” short where random fans are asked what “YAC” and “BBC” mean?
As Pittsburgh Post-Gazette columnist Tony Norman opined on earlier this week, I wonder how America would look today if the Union actually won the war. Who knows? Maybe a network might produce a show about that one day.
Damon Young@verysmartbros
Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB and a columnist for GQ.com. And he's working on a book of essays to be published by Ecco (HarperCollins). Damon is busy.
![](https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--WJEJumhI--/c_fill,fl_progressive,g_center,h_80,q_80,w_80/epqszo4cmezo77okcu8q.jpg)
Damon Young
33 minutes ago
Filed to: NFL
1.7K
134
![kykx32sw2cjrue37jcfw.png](https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--OQvMF_V1--/c_scale,fl_progressive,q_80,w_800/kykx32sw2cjrue37jcfw.png)
screenshot ESPN
After watching a clip of an ESPN fantasy football bit, where a group of white men “buy” black players from an (also white) auctioneer, I couldn’t help but ask that, if this was the idea that received the go-ahead to produce, what the fuck else was on that producers’ meeting whiteboard? A tongue-in-cheek skit where Odell Beckham and Antonio Brown juke and jab and shake away from cops trying to tackle them? An ironic sketch where Von Miller and Aaron Donald dive on and pick up fumbles, but the footballs are actually a naked Allison Williams and a syrup-dipped Tomi Lahren? A really clever segment where Cam Newton is in the huddle with his team, but instead of calling out plays he’s teaching his lineman how to hambone? A pithy “man-on-the-street” short where random fans are asked what “YAC” and “BBC” mean?
As Pittsburgh Post-Gazette columnist Tony Norman opined on earlier this week, I wonder how America would look today if the Union actually won the war. Who knows? Maybe a network might produce a show about that one day.
Damon Young@verysmartbros
Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB and a columnist for GQ.com. And he's working on a book of essays to be published by Ecco (HarperCollins). Damon is busy.