Drop them!
Drunk stories.
- Thread starter Loquacious
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IP360
Doctorate & Ph.D in Bootyology
Aight so we had this get together b/c it was one our homegirl's bday. Cooked food and drinks on deck. We're having a good time. So she finally show up, along with her husband, and her cousin, and rhe drinking went into overdrive. Nothing but shots.
They showed up at 11pm, she FUCC'd...UP by 1130pm. Lol! Shyt was hilarious. Her cousin was talkin about how he had to go to court that Monday for DUI, and THIS muthafucca got fucc'd up. Her and her cousin got so tore up, her husband finally decided to take'em home.
Got her outside on the porch and she just started throwing up in the bushes. Messed up her shirt. Messed up her pants. Damn near passed out. It was all bad. We sat her in the porch chair while her husband went to get the truck. But as we're standing there, we like "Aye let's take a pic!"
We ain't shyt. Lol. We took pics posing wit her passed out in her messed up shirt, laughing our azzz off. Her husband rolls up and gets her in the front seat. Then he goes back to get the cousin. Now her cuz is short as hell. Nigga had to been about 5'5, and talking shyt to him as he was trying to get him in the backseat. We was already laughing our azzz off, but we damn near fell the fucc out after we saw what he husband did next.
This nigga picks the cousin up like you would a small child, and puts the muthafucca in the backseat. REAL...MUTHA...FUCCIN...TEARS!!! I dunno if it was the alcohol in our system or what, but that shyt had us rollin! He finally takes them home, and comes back to the party after he got her in bed. Probably one of the best get togethers we ever threw.
They showed up at 11pm, she FUCC'd...UP by 1130pm. Lol! Shyt was hilarious. Her cousin was talkin about how he had to go to court that Monday for DUI, and THIS muthafucca got fucc'd up. Her and her cousin got so tore up, her husband finally decided to take'em home.
Got her outside on the porch and she just started throwing up in the bushes. Messed up her shirt. Messed up her pants. Damn near passed out. It was all bad. We sat her in the porch chair while her husband went to get the truck. But as we're standing there, we like "Aye let's take a pic!"
We ain't shyt. Lol. We took pics posing wit her passed out in her messed up shirt, laughing our azzz off. Her husband rolls up and gets her in the front seat. Then he goes back to get the cousin. Now her cuz is short as hell. Nigga had to been about 5'5, and talking shyt to him as he was trying to get him in the backseat. We was already laughing our azzz off, but we damn near fell the fucc out after we saw what he husband did next.
This nigga picks the cousin up like you would a small child, and puts the muthafucca in the backseat. REAL...MUTHA...FUCCIN...TEARS!!! I dunno if it was the alcohol in our system or what, but that shyt had us rollin! He finally takes them home, and comes back to the party after he got her in bed. Probably one of the best get togethers we ever threw.
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It was a New Year's Eve party. The drinks were coming and I was high outta this world. I woke up in between a dog and some boy who was friends with my friends brother. The dog and the boy were under me trying to stay warm.
gon try and make it brief
did an intern at the Univ of Iowa back in 03. Met this cool ass dude from Puerto Rico. He made the group of fellas this nice ass punch mixture. Everybody but him was hungover the next day.
Fastforward after the program was over, he and I used to keep contact to check on each other from time to time. Me and my roommate at the time were about to entertain some ladies so i hit up my boy from PR to ask him for the recipe. He sends it, and i wasnt as knowledgeable about proofs like i am now, so instead of the vodka, i ended up getting Everclear.
you already know where this is going
So, me and my roomie (he wasnt a heavy drinker but still engaged), so anyway, we at the chicks apt. One was cute, one was busted. I make the drink, and take a sip. I was thinking to myself "this shit dont taste like the shit Miguel made", but i thought i had to keep drinking before it kicked in. I was damn near guzzling it. So usually, i get all touchy feely with females when liquor is involved, but this time, i just remember acting super goofy.
We ended up talking to the chicks, and this is where my memory goes blank, but the last thing i actually remembered was the busted chick asking me something to the effect of "what if i wanted to fuck you"...i just said "wut?", then i lol'd.
woke up the next morning feeling extremely terrible. My roomie came in like "Cuuuuuuuuuuuuuz, man you was fucked up last night"...he is dying laughing. I tell him, "well, at least i didnt throw up"...he points, holds his nose, and says, "look behind you"...
Fucking throw up everywhere!
well, i thought it was like 7 in the morning, and i had a student job on campus, so i was just gon take a shower and go...Man...it was damn 4pm in the afternoon. I had NEVER slept that late in my life. Went to my supervisor the next morning and told her the truth and apologized profusely. She was mad cool and understood and i wasnt reprimanded in any way.
Back up real quick. My roommate told me that i was talking all loud and shit and he had to carry me back to the apt lol.
did an intern at the Univ of Iowa back in 03. Met this cool ass dude from Puerto Rico. He made the group of fellas this nice ass punch mixture. Everybody but him was hungover the next day.
Fastforward after the program was over, he and I used to keep contact to check on each other from time to time. Me and my roommate at the time were about to entertain some ladies so i hit up my boy from PR to ask him for the recipe. He sends it, and i wasnt as knowledgeable about proofs like i am now, so instead of the vodka, i ended up getting Everclear.
you already know where this is going
So, me and my roomie (he wasnt a heavy drinker but still engaged), so anyway, we at the chicks apt. One was cute, one was busted. I make the drink, and take a sip. I was thinking to myself "this shit dont taste like the shit Miguel made", but i thought i had to keep drinking before it kicked in. I was damn near guzzling it. So usually, i get all touchy feely with females when liquor is involved, but this time, i just remember acting super goofy.
We ended up talking to the chicks, and this is where my memory goes blank, but the last thing i actually remembered was the busted chick asking me something to the effect of "what if i wanted to fuck you"...i just said "wut?", then i lol'd.
woke up the next morning feeling extremely terrible. My roomie came in like "Cuuuuuuuuuuuuuz, man you was fucked up last night"...he is dying laughing. I tell him, "well, at least i didnt throw up"...he points, holds his nose, and says, "look behind you"...
Fucking throw up everywhere!
well, i thought it was like 7 in the morning, and i had a student job on campus, so i was just gon take a shower and go...Man...it was damn 4pm in the afternoon. I had NEVER slept that late in my life. Went to my supervisor the next morning and told her the truth and apologized profusely. She was mad cool and understood and i wasnt reprimanded in any way.
Back up real quick. My roommate told me that i was talking all loud and shit and he had to carry me back to the apt lol.
Lou Cypher
The Tokin' White Guy
I have hundreds. Maybe thousands of these. Will try and think of the ones that are least embarrassing.
One time...
We went out drinking. I had just bought my new phone, Galaxy S5.
Went to the bar we normally went to. Just a little dive bar for the neighborhood. Get shitfaced and blacked out.
Woke up the next morning and stumbled into the living room. My whole body was in pain. I looked at my arm, and on my left arm from my wrist down to my elbow was completely purple. Just on the inside of my arm where you could see my veins and stuff. My roommate comes stumbling out of his room also not knowing wtf happened.
We had a friend who came home with us and passed out on our couch who didnt get as drunk as the rest of us. He told us the normal stuff, we all got shitfaced and were very loud in the smokers area and making fools of ourselves. He said we decided to leave and walked out the door and saw a cab parked outside waiting for somebody. We got in the cab and started driving away. Friend said that we were being loud and obnoxious to the cab driver and the driver pulled over into this neighorhood and he yelled at us to GTFO. We got out, but my roommate got pissed and jumped in the drivers window and started punching him as me and my friend laughed in a drunken stupor.
Cabbie drives off and my roommate falls out of the window and starts walking with us. Where my friend said we were was about 3 miles away from our house so it was a lengthy walk. He then says as we started stumbling home, i turned around and got swiped and hit by the cab driver! He didnt full on run me over, but he definitely hit me with the car and i rolled off the car and laid down for a bit.
I asked my friend "Why the fuck didnt you pull me out of the way?!" To which he replied "Dude, he was in a fucking hybrid! We didnt even hear him coming! Out of nowhere, you were just on the hood of his car, rolled off and he drove away!". That part made me crack the fuck up.
The rest of the story isnt that cool. Just stumbled home for a few hours and finally made it home and passed out.
One time...
We went out drinking. I had just bought my new phone, Galaxy S5.
Went to the bar we normally went to. Just a little dive bar for the neighborhood. Get shitfaced and blacked out.
Woke up the next morning and stumbled into the living room. My whole body was in pain. I looked at my arm, and on my left arm from my wrist down to my elbow was completely purple. Just on the inside of my arm where you could see my veins and stuff. My roommate comes stumbling out of his room also not knowing wtf happened.
We had a friend who came home with us and passed out on our couch who didnt get as drunk as the rest of us. He told us the normal stuff, we all got shitfaced and were very loud in the smokers area and making fools of ourselves. He said we decided to leave and walked out the door and saw a cab parked outside waiting for somebody. We got in the cab and started driving away. Friend said that we were being loud and obnoxious to the cab driver and the driver pulled over into this neighorhood and he yelled at us to GTFO. We got out, but my roommate got pissed and jumped in the drivers window and started punching him as me and my friend laughed in a drunken stupor.
Cabbie drives off and my roommate falls out of the window and starts walking with us. Where my friend said we were was about 3 miles away from our house so it was a lengthy walk. He then says as we started stumbling home, i turned around and got swiped and hit by the cab driver! He didnt full on run me over, but he definitely hit me with the car and i rolled off the car and laid down for a bit.
I asked my friend "Why the fuck didnt you pull me out of the way?!" To which he replied "Dude, he was in a fucking hybrid! We didnt even hear him coming! Out of nowhere, you were just on the hood of his car, rolled off and he drove away!". That part made me crack the fuck up.
The rest of the story isnt that cool. Just stumbled home for a few hours and finally made it home and passed out.
Lou Cypher
The Tokin' White Guy
Oh, but the significance of my new phone..
I lost it on the walk home. The next day i was able to GPS it into these woods by the bar we went to. I went back to the woods and looked but could never find it. Some old lady who owned that lot came out and started talking to me and i told her the whole story and let her know i meant no harm. Never found the phone tho. Went to work on the following day, monday, and decided i would try one more time. Printed out the GPS of the phone and went back to the lot. Rang the ladies doorbell and showed her my print out asking if i could look around one more time. She agreed and actually walked around with me. I was 2 seconds away from giving up, when i saw it blinking right underneath a tree! I ran to it and found it and it was in the only dry spot in the entire woods! Still got the phone to this day.
I lost it on the walk home. The next day i was able to GPS it into these woods by the bar we went to. I went back to the woods and looked but could never find it. Some old lady who owned that lot came out and started talking to me and i told her the whole story and let her know i meant no harm. Never found the phone tho. Went to work on the following day, monday, and decided i would try one more time. Printed out the GPS of the phone and went back to the lot. Rang the ladies doorbell and showed her my print out asking if i could look around one more time. She agreed and actually walked around with me. I was 2 seconds away from giving up, when i saw it blinking right underneath a tree! I ran to it and found it and it was in the only dry spot in the entire woods! Still got the phone to this day.
Old Man Cain
OG
Ayeee this a thread I can shine in.
got one....
Damage: 1 pint of Hennessy, 6-24oz Bud Lights
This was by pre-game between 4pm - 9pm before leaving out for the party i was going to tha night.
I was so drunk when I left the house i went t the supermarket and sprayed myself down with axe body spray right there in the isle.
goes to the party....which is open bar....
and had 8 more 12oz beers......
then i at some point went back to the market to get groceries.
when i woke up on my couch i had groceries all over the apartment, all ing the wrong place....frozen pizza still in the box in the oven......ice cream in the microwave.....
i was fucked up bruh
Damage: 1 pint of Hennessy, 6-24oz Bud Lights
This was by pre-game between 4pm - 9pm before leaving out for the party i was going to tha night.
I was so drunk when I left the house i went t the supermarket and sprayed myself down with axe body spray right there in the isle.
goes to the party....which is open bar....
and had 8 more 12oz beers......
then i at some point went back to the market to get groceries.
when i woke up on my couch i had groceries all over the apartment, all ing the wrong place....frozen pizza still in the box in the oven......ice cream in the microwave.....
i was fucked up bruh
Old Man Cain
OG
Went to Essence Fest few years back. Me and my niggas fall up in this spot called Razoo's. It's like a black hole once you go in you don't come out. We're in there drinking straight wildin broads everywhere the bar had a special going on buy one get 3 on Coronas and $2 tequila shots..... nigga when I tell you I was drunk and he got fuck is a understatement. We went in that place around 2:30p didn't leave till about 4am. I was destroyed and we had a long ass walk back to our hotel the Sheraton. My niggas was talking about look at the those police niggas on those horse's and I was like fuck that I'm about to ride one of those bitches back to the room(so I was told I don't really remember saying that) I go up to the horse and try to get on it to ride out. The cops see my drunk big ass trying to put my foot in the stirrups and he start laughing and told my friends get your boy before we beat his dumbass and take him to jail. My friends get me and they're laughing like hell I mean tears. We call a cab and I believe I passed out because I remember waking up in my bed that next day ready to do it all over again.
TheGOAT
I dont like it here.
Me & a homie went shot for shot on a bottle of patron one night 7yrs back. Needless to say we was drunk already.
2am in iowa they stop selling liquor until 6am. So we grab 4 40s of O.E. right before 2.
We kick it all night doin drunk shit. Smokin weed. Made an appearance at the cemetary. I dont really remember all the specifics.
6am hits and we buy another bottle of Patron and head back to his apt. His roomate is just waking up for work as we take the first few shots.
And thats where i black out.
I wake up in my bed because my gf bust thru the door yelling at me. Its 5:30pm.
She tells me shes pregnant asked me wtf happened and why i havent answered anyones calls.
I reach under my pillow for my phone and i find my phone, my homies phone, and his car keys.
They say i stole his car (and his phone) and drove myself home about 25mins away. Look at my bank statment and i filled up his gas tank on the way home too.
2am in iowa they stop selling liquor until 6am. So we grab 4 40s of O.E. right before 2.
We kick it all night doin drunk shit. Smokin weed. Made an appearance at the cemetary. I dont really remember all the specifics.
6am hits and we buy another bottle of Patron and head back to his apt. His roomate is just waking up for work as we take the first few shots.
And thats where i black out.
I wake up in my bed because my gf bust thru the door yelling at me. Its 5:30pm.
She tells me shes pregnant asked me wtf happened and why i havent answered anyones calls.
I reach under my pillow for my phone and i find my phone, my homies phone, and his car keys.
They say i stole his car (and his phone) and drove myself home about 25mins away. Look at my bank statment and i filled up his gas tank on the way home too.
first of all, why were you in Razoo's lol
but second...brah count your blessings...those police officers that ride horses DO NOT PLAY about that shit. That could've easily ended poorly for you lol
Old Man Cain
OG
Nigga Razoo's is the shit when Essence is around. Besides that I don't go there. We have one here in Charlotte.
Yeah the cops was going to beat my ass my homies got me out of that and the cops were cool.
Judge Dread
Active Member
I hate to share in this thread but since I used to drink......... went to club cheetahs. Me and my cousin used to always go out right after New Years to celebrate making it another year. We knew the bartender and she was trying to make extra money that night so was like Dread if you buy a bottle I will give you one free. So I buy a bottle and my cousin buys a bottle because we men( dumb ego stuff) now we got 4 bottles and two of us. So like lions with big manes we proceed to find some women to share our 4 bottles with. In between that we were drinking our normal vodka. We met what he and I recall to be one of the sexiest woman I have ever seen and her friends. Night was heading to be epic but I got drunk and through up on her friends dress and shoes. Stumbled out of there with him. We had to leave the car in the garage because neither of us were sober enough to drive. Somewhere in the night I must have given her my number. I check my voice mail the next day and she left the nicest message ever showing concern but she called from a block number and the last three numbers were distorted. I spent half a day trying to dial every combination I could think of. Never spoke to her or seen her again. I think we went back three weeks straight before I gave up. I could own this thread with my stories. Thank Jah I found my livity and gave up my old ways.
Lou Cypher
The Tokin' White Guy
One time...
Think i was 17. Was at a party with a handful of my friends and there was like 40 people at this house. Me and my friends are drinking in the garage and smoking weed. One of the guys had to pee but didnt want to wait for the bathroom so he went into the corner and pissed in an empty beer bottle. He was able to put the cap back on it and make it look like an unopened beer.
Night progresses, we get more drunk. Back in the garage smoking again and people are coming in and out of the garage. He had stashed the bottle of piss on a shelf and there was an Ice Luge at the party that people were drinking out of. For those unfamiliar, this is an ice luge:
So we are all talking, and the pisser thought it would be hilarious if someone drank the bottle of piss from the Ice luge. At the time of this conversation there was only 5 of us in the garage. A couple of girls walked in and the pisser talked to them about the idea and they agreed that they would find someone to do the luge and use the piss beer bottle. He hands her the piss bottle, and she goes off to talk to some dudes.
About 5 minutes later she comes back and says "Its happening!" so we run out into the living room where everyone was playing beer pong and doing the ice luge. Girls collect a couple of guys and they start pouring the "beers" down the ice on both trails. They drank maybe half of the piss before one jumps up and goes "WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!?!" Whole house gets quiet. Dude starts freaking out and getting pissed off repeating "WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SHIT?! THATS NOT BEER WHAT IS IT???" Getting in peoples faces but no one knows wtf the guy is talking about and our little crew is in the back cracking the fuck up.
Dude continues to get in peoples faces and folks are laughing because hes making a huge scene, but he steps up to some guy who wasnt having it and they started fighting. Fight gets broken up and the angry guy leaves. We go back into the garage and everybodys dyin. Pisser had to piss again so he goes into another bottle and puts the cap on it and puts it in the snow outside. After we finish smoking, pisser puts the Piss beer on the work bench in the garage and we take off to go play some beer pong. When we come back to smoke again, while we were away, someone had grabbed the piss beer and must have drank it, so we had another laugh and eventually went home.
Think i was 17. Was at a party with a handful of my friends and there was like 40 people at this house. Me and my friends are drinking in the garage and smoking weed. One of the guys had to pee but didnt want to wait for the bathroom so he went into the corner and pissed in an empty beer bottle. He was able to put the cap back on it and make it look like an unopened beer.
Night progresses, we get more drunk. Back in the garage smoking again and people are coming in and out of the garage. He had stashed the bottle of piss on a shelf and there was an Ice Luge at the party that people were drinking out of. For those unfamiliar, this is an ice luge:
So we are all talking, and the pisser thought it would be hilarious if someone drank the bottle of piss from the Ice luge. At the time of this conversation there was only 5 of us in the garage. A couple of girls walked in and the pisser talked to them about the idea and they agreed that they would find someone to do the luge and use the piss beer bottle. He hands her the piss bottle, and she goes off to talk to some dudes.
About 5 minutes later she comes back and says "Its happening!" so we run out into the living room where everyone was playing beer pong and doing the ice luge. Girls collect a couple of guys and they start pouring the "beers" down the ice on both trails. They drank maybe half of the piss before one jumps up and goes "WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!?!" Whole house gets quiet. Dude starts freaking out and getting pissed off repeating "WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SHIT?! THATS NOT BEER WHAT IS IT???" Getting in peoples faces but no one knows wtf the guy is talking about and our little crew is in the back cracking the fuck up.
Dude continues to get in peoples faces and folks are laughing because hes making a huge scene, but he steps up to some guy who wasnt having it and they started fighting. Fight gets broken up and the angry guy leaves. We go back into the garage and everybodys dyin. Pisser had to piss again so he goes into another bottle and puts the cap on it and puts it in the snow outside. After we finish smoking, pisser puts the Piss beer on the work bench in the garage and we take off to go play some beer pong. When we come back to smoke again, while we were away, someone had grabbed the piss beer and must have drank it, so we had another laugh and eventually went home.
Knock_Twice
2 Words
A few friends of mines and fam were so drunk a fucking Uber sped off on our asses smh Lol. I thought the point of calling a Uber was to help drunk folks out.
Long story long,
This past Mardi Gras smh. Some of my friends that I knew wanted to come down for Mardi Gras, so I was like beautiful, come on down, they've never been, always see the shit on TV and they always wanted to come and experience the big party, and plus I would always rub the shit in their faces about how much fun we would have at Mardi Gras, shit like that.
Told them, yall can come down but just know, I aint carrying nobody asses up and down the Quarters (French Quarters), don't wear no heels or any of them pointy ass shoes, bring yo walking shoes, if you don't have any, go and purchase some because it's a lot of walking that we will be doing and it will be a lot of ppl. I literally said this shit 3 times to they asses to really drive the shit home. Heels and being in the French Quarter and being drunk aint cute.
They come down, everybody all in, we pregame before we head out, I don't really drink like that, just a drink here and there, give me a good daiquiri and I'm good to go, everybody else were taking shots and shit, mixing shit, having a ball, I'm like aight, we still gotta walk and I told yall, I aint carrying not nan one of you motherfuckers when that drink starts to settling in on yall asses. We head out to the Quarters, Those who been to Mardi Gras, know that parades run all day and all night long especially the weekend before Fat Tuesday.
We walking to the French quarter, we stop at this hole in the wall and they all grab daiquiris and get more shots and shit (again), I'm like yo, yall might wanna slow the fuck down, we will be out alllllll night and again, again I'm not carrying not nan one you motherfuckers around the Quarters, we got more walking to do and cover, they with the whole whatever shit, so I'm like aight aight, you motherfuckers go learn some shit tonight. Lol.
So we head out to Canal St, shit is super packed and they, from the look on their faces, shocked as shit to see so many ppl and wild shit, they holding hands to keep up with one another, that's how packed it was on the street, Bourbon ST is just dumbbb packed and I'm like yall, hold on my ass/waist so that yall won't get lost cuz it's mad ppl everywhere, we walking and beads, titties, drinks are everywhere, beads and cups and shit falling from the sky like it's raining Lol. Shit is crazy They couldn't believe what they were seeing. On Bourbon ST, for those who don't know, there are side bars/pubs/stores, you can duck off into and get a drink or whatnot or just catch yo breath, see a titty or so, or when they are shooting and shit, you can dive and duck off in to keep from getting trampled over or catching a stray bullet. So we step aside and find a spot and one of the chicks was like she want a drink that's called a hand grenade and there's a drink also you can get that they put in a fish bowl and have it around yo neck, drinks are good as shit, you can down them shits pretty fast, but, but the thing is them shits will creep up on yo ass and have you on yo ass, so they end up getting them shits, some of them got two smh Lol. We head out of the pub that sold them shits and it's crowded as shit, can't really move and Im like man fuck this shit, we gotta get off Bourbon ST, this shit is too much and wild for yall which it was, cuz niggas and cacs were on some power up shit, so me and my cuzins like, let's go to Frenchman street, a less crowed area, and a little less hostile from Bourbon ST.
We get to Frenchmen ST, a nice walk from where we were, get there, get to club hopping, ordering more drinks, now we all mixing white with brown, ordering fireballs and shit Lol, just buying all type of shots and shit, at this point, I'm like fuck it, it's Mardi Gras, I'm tore up and again, I don't get tore up, I like to be aware of my surroundings and shit, I'm noid like that, everybody juking, dancing, jigging and screaming and partying and shit, clubs are jumping, I'm sweating out my body, that's how much energy is being put out, Everybody is having fun, taking pictures, snapping and IG'n and shit, having a blast, and shit, not a care in the world. They on that bounce music, trying to make that booty go bop bop bop whop whop whop, they trying to learn that shit, A catch the wall, O, don't fall O, yea they all on that shit, A catch the wall, O, don't fall O, yea they all on that shit Lol.
So it's around 2:43 a.m. and I'm like let's roll out, shit is spinning for me now and I aint never been in a position like that before. We walking down the street and all of sudden, some of the ppl in the crew, started throwing up on the sidewalk, and I"m like here we go with the fuckery, told yall motherfuckers not to get drunk like that, one chick is outta her shoes, she so gone, another one is leaning/wobbling and I'm fuck, we all gonna die now, please don't lets us die. Lol.
One of my cuzin that's was with me, that nigga don't ever get drunk, but I see this nigga on his knees throwing up and shit and now I'm really on some, we all bout to die type shit, then another one throws up,. We along the sidewalks just throwing up, staggering, laughing, One of the chicks was like, I can't walk back, carry me. Shiddddd, I'd be dayum, We still have a good ways to walk before we get back to the house, We can't call a cab, In NOLA, there are a lot of one ways in the Quarter and doing Mardi Gras, cabs, uber really don't come down one ways, you have to be on a main street to catch one, and we have about another good 15 minutes of walking before we get on a main street, well that's how long it took us, motherfuckers were passing out, and sitting/laying down on the ground and shit, and all I can think about is, we gonna die here Lol.
Finally we get to a main street and a Uber is waiting on us, Cuzin open the door to get in, me and the rest of the crew try and get into the back, the driver sees one of the chicks, dayum near passed the fuck out and fucking driver said, no, no, no, yall can't get in, she's passed out, and we like motherfucker that's the point of you picking us up, we all can't walk anymore and bout to die, we need a ride home. Fucker peeled out on our asses.
I see a horse and carriage (we have those shits for couples to ride around the Quarters) cuzin ran over and got the dude to come and give us a ride, I thanked the dude and the horse and then we all pile up in the carriage and while the horse trollied us back to the 7th, mane that shit was crazy, a horse and carriage rolling up in the 7th but fuck it, we made it home and didn't die, got to the house, we all rolled outta the carriage and fell to the ground, I passed out on the porch before opening up the door, I got in a bed somehow, can't recall how, I woke up in the middle of the night to throw up again, did that, and looked around to see where everybody else were and try and re-collect what had happened, I see one chick sleeping on a piano bench, laid out, another person on the bottom step, one my cuzin didn't make to his room, he laid out in front of the door, I went back and got back in the bed and laughed my ass off to sleep.
aww mane, that was a helluva night
Long story long,
This past Mardi Gras smh. Some of my friends that I knew wanted to come down for Mardi Gras, so I was like beautiful, come on down, they've never been, always see the shit on TV and they always wanted to come and experience the big party, and plus I would always rub the shit in their faces about how much fun we would have at Mardi Gras, shit like that.
Told them, yall can come down but just know, I aint carrying nobody asses up and down the Quarters (French Quarters), don't wear no heels or any of them pointy ass shoes, bring yo walking shoes, if you don't have any, go and purchase some because it's a lot of walking that we will be doing and it will be a lot of ppl. I literally said this shit 3 times to they asses to really drive the shit home. Heels and being in the French Quarter and being drunk aint cute.
They come down, everybody all in, we pregame before we head out, I don't really drink like that, just a drink here and there, give me a good daiquiri and I'm good to go, everybody else were taking shots and shit, mixing shit, having a ball, I'm like aight, we still gotta walk and I told yall, I aint carrying not nan one of you motherfuckers when that drink starts to settling in on yall asses. We head out to the Quarters, Those who been to Mardi Gras, know that parades run all day and all night long especially the weekend before Fat Tuesday.
We walking to the French quarter, we stop at this hole in the wall and they all grab daiquiris and get more shots and shit (again), I'm like yo, yall might wanna slow the fuck down, we will be out alllllll night and again, again I'm not carrying not nan one you motherfuckers around the Quarters, we got more walking to do and cover, they with the whole whatever shit, so I'm like aight aight, you motherfuckers go learn some shit tonight. Lol.
So we head out to Canal St, shit is super packed and they, from the look on their faces, shocked as shit to see so many ppl and wild shit, they holding hands to keep up with one another, that's how packed it was on the street, Bourbon ST is just dumbbb packed and I'm like yall, hold on my ass/waist so that yall won't get lost cuz it's mad ppl everywhere, we walking and beads, titties, drinks are everywhere, beads and cups and shit falling from the sky like it's raining Lol. Shit is crazy They couldn't believe what they were seeing. On Bourbon ST, for those who don't know, there are side bars/pubs/stores, you can duck off into and get a drink or whatnot or just catch yo breath, see a titty or so, or when they are shooting and shit, you can dive and duck off in to keep from getting trampled over or catching a stray bullet. So we step aside and find a spot and one of the chicks was like she want a drink that's called a hand grenade and there's a drink also you can get that they put in a fish bowl and have it around yo neck, drinks are good as shit, you can down them shits pretty fast, but, but the thing is them shits will creep up on yo ass and have you on yo ass, so they end up getting them shits, some of them got two smh Lol. We head out of the pub that sold them shits and it's crowded as shit, can't really move and Im like man fuck this shit, we gotta get off Bourbon ST, this shit is too much and wild for yall which it was, cuz niggas and cacs were on some power up shit, so me and my cuzins like, let's go to Frenchman street, a less crowed area, and a little less hostile from Bourbon ST.
We get to Frenchmen ST, a nice walk from where we were, get there, get to club hopping, ordering more drinks, now we all mixing white with brown, ordering fireballs and shit Lol, just buying all type of shots and shit, at this point, I'm like fuck it, it's Mardi Gras, I'm tore up and again, I don't get tore up, I like to be aware of my surroundings and shit, I'm noid like that, everybody juking, dancing, jigging and screaming and partying and shit, clubs are jumping, I'm sweating out my body, that's how much energy is being put out, Everybody is having fun, taking pictures, snapping and IG'n and shit, having a blast, and shit, not a care in the world. They on that bounce music, trying to make that booty go bop bop bop whop whop whop, they trying to learn that shit, A catch the wall, O, don't fall O, yea they all on that shit, A catch the wall, O, don't fall O, yea they all on that shit Lol.
So it's around 2:43 a.m. and I'm like let's roll out, shit is spinning for me now and I aint never been in a position like that before. We walking down the street and all of sudden, some of the ppl in the crew, started throwing up on the sidewalk, and I"m like here we go with the fuckery, told yall motherfuckers not to get drunk like that, one chick is outta her shoes, she so gone, another one is leaning/wobbling and I'm fuck, we all gonna die now, please don't lets us die. Lol.
One of my cuzin that's was with me, that nigga don't ever get drunk, but I see this nigga on his knees throwing up and shit and now I'm really on some, we all bout to die type shit, then another one throws up,. We along the sidewalks just throwing up, staggering, laughing, One of the chicks was like, I can't walk back, carry me. Shiddddd, I'd be dayum, We still have a good ways to walk before we get back to the house, We can't call a cab, In NOLA, there are a lot of one ways in the Quarter and doing Mardi Gras, cabs, uber really don't come down one ways, you have to be on a main street to catch one, and we have about another good 15 minutes of walking before we get on a main street, well that's how long it took us, motherfuckers were passing out, and sitting/laying down on the ground and shit, and all I can think about is, we gonna die here Lol.
Finally we get to a main street and a Uber is waiting on us, Cuzin open the door to get in, me and the rest of the crew try and get into the back, the driver sees one of the chicks, dayum near passed the fuck out and fucking driver said, no, no, no, yall can't get in, she's passed out, and we like motherfucker that's the point of you picking us up, we all can't walk anymore and bout to die, we need a ride home. Fucker peeled out on our asses.
I see a horse and carriage (we have those shits for couples to ride around the Quarters) cuzin ran over and got the dude to come and give us a ride, I thanked the dude and the horse and then we all pile up in the carriage and while the horse trollied us back to the 7th, mane that shit was crazy, a horse and carriage rolling up in the 7th but fuck it, we made it home and didn't die, got to the house, we all rolled outta the carriage and fell to the ground, I passed out on the porch before opening up the door, I got in a bed somehow, can't recall how, I woke up in the middle of the night to throw up again, did that, and looked around to see where everybody else were and try and re-collect what had happened, I see one chick sleeping on a piano bench, laid out, another person on the bottom step, one my cuzin didn't make to his room, he laid out in front of the door, I went back and got back in the bed and laughed my ass off to sleep.
aww mane, that was a helluva night
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