The problem is that if y'all get married and you have controlled all aspects of her finances for n number of years and y'all end up in a divorce you're DEFINITELY paying alimony. Ain't no way around it either.
As for all that self esteem shit, sounds like some weak nigga shit to me. If you're really doin it like that you never need to list off shit; she already knows 'cause you've been handling business since day one.
If you come into the relationship with malicious intent, like this nigga here is advocating, it can only end badly. Manipulating people is how muhfuckas end up stabbed up, laying on the floor leaking vital fluids, wondering where it all went wrong.