Ever have those moments or caused a few awkward moments?
Had one with some coworkers on the way to lunch. Now I'm not a person that likes to talk when I'm driving. So yup there was silence in the car. If I ain't in the mood to talk I ain't gon talk. But these people were trying to force a conversation and it was mad awkward. One word replies and long pause. Long story short I'm bring my lunch to work from now on
1.) My Daughter was trying to put on her little brothers clothes. I told her "Big people can't wear little people's clothes.".
Fast forward to the grocery store, we are in line behind this extremely large woman wearing spandex.
She smiles at my daughter and starts asking her about her day and says that she likes her dress.
My baby smiles back, engages in convo and then proceeds to tell her that she likes her outfit as well but "Mommy said that Big people can't wear little people clothes. " So she may need to change.
i'm like :ohoh:.......................................................... go look at the candy over there. .
The lady gave me a dirty look and then checked out and walked away.
Smh Kids will say whatever the h3ll with no F*cks given. smh.
1.) My Daughter was trying to put on her little brothers clothes. I told her "Big people can't wear little people's clothes.".
Fast forward to the grocery store, we are in line behind this extremely large woman wearing spandex.
She smiles at my daughter and starts asking her about her day and says that she likes her dress.
My baby smiles back, engages in convo and then proceeds to tell her that she likes her outfit as well but "Mommy said that Big people can't wear little people clothes. " So she may need to change.
i'm like :ohoh:.......................................................... go look at the candy over there. .
The lady gave me a dirty look and then checked out and walked away.
Smh Kids will say whatever the h3ll with no F*cks given. smh.
Worked with a dude that he and my family had beef with. We ended up having to work on a project together. My cousin shot his cousin that summer and it was a real beef between those two. I had just bought a new car so I was really wanting to keep my job so I wasn't trying to lose it over dumb shit.
Dude and I barely talked be on some yep nope shit and that's it. It was awkward as hell because we had to work close proximity of each other and actually needed each other's help doing everything but we wouldn't ask each other for help for shit. Lol
Eventually me and dude became cordial but that was about it. That summer was crazy because so much shit sparked off our families beefing with each other.
2.) My home girl was dating this guy who will be named TED.
TED had an issue with flatulence. Like it was a diagnosed issue that he took medication for and if he skipped or forgot his meds for any reason he would be tooting all over the place.
We all went out together to this live jazz spot and we sat right in front of the stage. We were there early so they were still setting up but it was pretty packed as this band was slightly anticipated locally.
Ted was into guitars and starting talking to the lead singer about his guitar.
Whilst talking, lead singer drops the mic on the ground and it rolls slightly under the table screeching with that high pitch sound catching everyone's attention in the club.
TED reaches down to assist with picking it up and lets one loose....THE ENTIRE CLUB PAUSES.
I look at my girl, trying so hard not to laugh.
.
Then to make matters worse, this dude actually has the guts to pic up the mic and say
"Excuse me ya'll, my bad"..
Now We like........ .
Yeah.... I just left and told them to meet me outside.
Working at Wendy's wit my cousin, we talking and the convo got on my aunt. So I'm talking to her bout how my aunt best friend always seem stern and dress like a man. Damn near might be a man.
So my cousin looking at me crazy, and I'm like what u looking at me like that for? You know she mannish.
As we leaving work that day, she goes..I didn't say anything cause that other dude who works with us is her son.
Dude was on the grill and I'm calling his momma mannish right infront of him. Needless to say the next couple of weeks was awkward. Funny shit tho...dude Neva said nothing about it
Also, some weird shit is my wife will tell me deep dark family secrets about her family. Shits that's disgusting and everybody know but act like shit never happened. Then she be wanting me to go to family functions.
Man they be in there...heeeeeey gurl...heeeeey cuzzo.....Acting all normal an shit
I'm sitting there like
Ain't that the nigga that............tho?
She be like yea but we past that
:scust1:I'm lookin like...these disgusting muthafuckas here
So me and this chick decided to hangout out one nite, and she asked if we stop y her homegirl's crib for a min. I think the chick just had a baby. Cool.
Pull in the yard and it was this raggy azzz, rundown trailer. Now I've seen this trailer plenty of times when my mama would hit up the meat market on that side. But I never thought people actually lived there. So when we got out, I looked around, and I'm pretty much like "WTF!" Oh it just got worse tho.
We walk inside, said hi, introduced myself, doing the whole cordial shyt. At the same time tho, I'm scanning the crib...my gawd. The inside was worse than the outside. It's like they took a single and a double wide trailer, and welded them together. On top of that, it was nasty AF!!
I'm trying to keep my cool as ole girl is talking her homegirl & the family, but I feel like I'm getting infected wit whateva nastiness they got in there. I just happened to look to my right, and seen probably one of the NASTIEST kitchens I've ever seen at that time. On top of that...the shyt is INFESTED wit ROACHES! Plain sight, no fucc's given, crawling everywhere wit the light on roaches!
So I'm lookin at this shyt...
...turn and look at them, and these muthafuccas are oblivious to the shyt! As if I'm the only one seeing this. And I know they saw me looking, cuz one of the guys looked at the kitchen and saw my damn reaction! But this nigga just kept on talkin as if the roaches were family or their pets. No fuccs given.
Now see the older wiser IP360, would've gotten his happy azzz up, walked da fucc out, and left ole girl's azzz wit NO...FUCCS...GIVEN! Not young IP360 tho. No...this nigga was trying to smash. My head was on a swivel the whole damn time! Making sure ain't none them roaches was crawling on me. Any questions they asked was met wit short responses, followed by uncomfortable awkward azzz laughter.
Ole girl must've saw I was ready to go. Cuz as soon as that hefa said "Alright girl, lemme go...", it took everything in my power not to run outta that bitch like...
I told my homeboy what happened b/c he went to school wit the chick. This nigga g'on say "Yall went to *whateva her name was* crib? Bruh..NO ONE goes there" My reaction...
I think I told this on the IC, forgive me if i have,
But I was in the barbershop one Sat afternoon and it was about 4-5 dudes in there, the usuals, the ones that talk a gang of shit, claim they've shot 4 or 5 niggas, got the baddest chick, got the greatest life to ever been lived, them low life ass niggas, they all talking shit back n forth with one another and I'm listening while smh and watching Fresh Prince waiting to get cut.
Its the EP where Will's real dad comes back into his life Lol,
The scene when Will real dad walks out and says basically, I gotta go and get this bag, I'll see yo ass around nigga, and Will goes on his rant and starts to cry, it was nothing but sniffles in the barbershop at that point, like a bad case of pollen was in that bitch, the show darted to a commercial after the show ended with Uncle Phil hugging Will and showing that father kid stature, you could have heard a rat piss on cotton in the barbershop, so I sense the sadness lmaoo and let down in the room from these confused ass niggas and me being me.., I did the first thing I could think of, "Shid y'all, What them Saints go do this year" lmao. Nigga gave me that, mane fuck them Saints, I'm having a moment right now look lmao.
It was some heavy hearts in that bitch.. Mad awkwardness in that shit. Mad awkwardness
One nigga just got up outta his seat and leaned against the wall and stared outta the barbershop's glass window, and to me, I guess the nigga was staring off into space and emptyness looking for hope or some shit. That EP brought back the pain smh.
So me and my little cousin go to Walmart.... I'm driving.
I'm like 19, he's 12...
So the whole time we're ruff housing like the 2 knuckleheads that we are....
Well,, I'm standing in line.... And he's behind me, but runs off to electronics without saying anything.... I legit thought he was still be behind me....
So I turn around and gut punch him like "why you so quiet??"
Only its not him..... Its a pregnant Woman who like:oword:
I'm like
"Oh I'm sorry ma'am I thought you was my little cousin. I'm so sorry":host:
Then I had to turn around and stay in line. The back of my neck was so hot....
This was 2015. It was this lady at my job she had to be late 30s early 40s cougar age. I work at a call center so like 85% women. She was on my team and was feeling me she wasn't ugly and I ain't shallow. She was a lil annoying cuz she was from NYC and hated VA but she stayed here for 20 years so wtf. Anyway we exchange numbers get drunk she told me she want the D so I'm like cool. She said she had a boyfriend but he was like 21 and she like 38. Red flag but I'm trying to just beat and keep it cool.
Another homegirl on the team had a bday thing I kicked it with her for a bit got up with my homies for bit. Birthday girl calls me and says let's meet at the cougar house in like ok bet. It's like 2 in the morning so I'm thinking bout smashing. We get to the cougar crib and I realized she on level 3 drugs or I assumed because she was dancing in the middle of the street in Newport News. My niggas gave me the wtf face. We get in the crib smoking they got volume on 11 on the radio. She stay with some old ads dude which further made me think drugs.
They decide to cook. Idk if y'all been to jail but they made 2 big ass pots of like some noodles with hot dogs and hot sauce ramen noodles at that. And another pot of noodles with salty ass chicken. Old dude was like it's swoll. Never have I seen a pot of swoll. They packed it in the containers that Chinese food come in. I tried to look like I was gonna eat it. My nigga had to eat 2 plates because he said it wasn't the worst and the cougar heard it. Then the old dude started playing bongos and not on beat with anything on the radio. As I'm sitting there wondering wtf is going on the cougar is mad because the bday girl left that nasty ass food. I never smashed and we got up out of there.
Me and my wife just shared a hard laugh at shared awkward moment.
Our pastor family cane from down south and they had as big cook out at his house. Our son was like barely 2 or 3 but already a complete asshole.
We had our suspicions, but we had no idea what we were in for. We just knew this kid displayed jerkish behavior at times.
This was the full confirmation.
See old ass down south people are funny about kids. They strongly believe that kids should fight out their own issues,, and you never ever coddle them. They be on that "you better whip their ass or imma whoop your ass"
Shit....
So... The kids all start getting rough and of course my son is swinging away.....
Me and my wife,, naturally... Separate this savage before he hurts some ones kid,, as we always do..
Cuz we know our child.....
However... We get immediately chastised for interfering....
Kids will be kids.... Boys gonna be boys.... Amir is all boy.... Them other kids need to toughen up
Only thing.... Them kids didn't toughen up....
My son, realizing he had free reign completely dominated and terrorizes all the other children to the complete horror of those poor kids parents..... The amusement of all the old folk laughing and cheering him on.... And the complete embarrassment of me and my wife....
We felt like such shitty parents..... My wife started crying..... I was so embarrassed I just threw my kid in the car grabbed the wife and left.....
Like tonight might be the first time we just died laughing talking about it cuz I think that was the day we knew we fucked up with the first one..... He was having a blast..... church was so awkward the next day.... We highly considered skipping.... Like everyone thought the cookout was so funny..... Yet we were totally in our feelings....
And those other parents.... The pastors cousins from down south..... They barely looked at us
So me and my little cousin go to Walmart.... I'm driving.
I'm like 19, he's 12...
So the whole time we're ruff housing like the 2 knuckleheads that we are....
Well,, I'm standing in line.... And he's behind me, but runs off to electronics without saying anything.... I legit thought he was still be behind me....
So I turn around and gut punch him like "why you so quiet??"
Only its not him..... Its a pregnant Woman who like:oword:
I'm like
"Oh I'm sorry ma'am I thought you was my little cousin. I'm so sorry":host:
Then I had to turn around and stay in line. The back of my neck was so hot....
Me and my wife just shared a hard laugh at shared awkward moment.
Our pastor family cane from down south and they had as big cook out at his house. Our son was like barely 2 or 3 but already a complete asshole.
We had our suspicions, but we had no idea what we were in for. We just knew this kid displayed jerkish behavior at times.
This was the full confirmation.
See old ass down south people are funny about kids. They strongly believe that kids should fight out their own issues,, and you never ever coddle them. They be on that "you better whip their ass or imma whoop your ass"
Shit....
So... The kids all start getting rough and of course my son is swinging away.....
Me and my wife,, naturally... Separate this savage before he hurts some ones kid,, as we always do..
Cuz we know our child.....
However... We get immediately chastised for interfering....
Kids will be kids.... Boys gonna be boys.... Amir is all boy.... Them other kids need to toughen up
Only thing.... Them kids didn't toughen up....
My son, realizing he had free reign completely dominated and terrorizes all the other children to the complete horror of those poor kids parents..... The amusement of all the old folk laughing and cheering him on.... And the complete embarrassment of me and my wife....
We felt like such shitty parents..... My wife started crying..... I was so embarrassed I just threw my kid in the car grabbed the wife and left.....
Like tonight might be the first time we just died laughing talking about it cuz I think that was the day we knew we fucked up with the first one..... He was having a blast..... church was so awkward the next day.... We highly considered skipping.... Like everyone thought the cookout was so funny..... Yet we were totally in our feelings....
And those other parents.... The pastors cousins from down south..... They barely looked at us
This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
Ain't that the nigga that............tho?
