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Are you a fixer or a listener?

1/2

1/2

Dont drank out my drank, foo
Your S/O needs to vent

they unload a problem on you.....you may or may not even be able to help

do you automatically go into fix mode or can you just listen and offer advice/support?

Which do they expect or respond better to?

How do you feel if they tend to have a lot of problems you cant help with?

How does this effect the relationship?
 
Good questions. I think I'm both, but I'm a listener first. Then I take time to myself to think how I can help fix it. I could be wrong tho @Golden
 
Goldie said:
Good questions. I think I'm both, but I'm a listener first. Then I take time to myself to think how I can help fix it. I could be wrong tho @Golden
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dope

I used to be in the immediate fixer mindframe and it would frustrate me if I couldnt help

had gotten too used to being the savior and the only one that person could look to, that I kinda depended on that and felt secure in it

but the shits unhealthy and just cant be the case in this relationship

im learning to listen a lot more and offer my advice if I can.....but not take it as my job to make everything go away

shit'll have you chasing your tail
 
I learned the hard way to stfu and just listen.

For the longest after I got a long ass story about some issue, after they were done venting and a long pause occured I thought it was my cue to make a suggestion or offer my time in a resolution


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It wasn't.
I always been a good listener but it took me awhile to ascertain that a resolution isn't always whats needed just an ear
 
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Yea i learned that shit from OGs a long time ago. A lot of times, people just want to vent and already know what they need to do to fix their issue.


Sometimes just listening to people is the fixing part.
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Goldie said:
Good questions. I think I'm both, but I'm a listener first. Then I take time to myself to think how I can help fix it. I could be wrong tho @Golden
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You're both. Folks who are primarily tend to be better fixers anyway, some shit has no solution and the venter needs to know that.
 
Depends on what she's venting about. For the most part...listener

If it's about work...listener...then offer advice if needed. More like along the lines of "Fucc them. Keep doing you" type deal.

If its her family & friends...I just listen. I offer advice here & there, but some the shyt she vent about I just leave it be.
 
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Super fixer, but i know thats not always what people need so im getting better at just being a sounding board
 
I'm a listener. Then I fix it in my head and wait for you to ask for help....but I'll encourage you to open up more and ask the questions that you must answer in order to find out how you got to where you are and that gets you processing to be able to maybe solve your own problem.
Because only you know the true how's and why's and I may be trying to solve a problem with limited information and send you on the wrong path. Not because i want to but because I used only what I was told

#longwindedbarz
 
DOS_patos said:
But how we know if we don't talk?
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If you don't want me to beat a bitch up, help hide a body, give you some money, or borrow something I don't wana hear it.
I need you have thought about the shit before you come to me with a problem.























And this is why I'm single.
 
atribecalledGabi said:
If you don't want me to beat a bitch up, help hide a body, give you some money, or borrow something I don't wana hear it.
I need you have thought about the shit before you come to me with a problem.























And this is why I'm single.
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So you kicking chicks asses?

Wanna make a half years rent?
 
atribecalledGabi said:
If I can't help you don't talk to me about it

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atribecalledGabi said:
If you don't want me to beat a bitch up, help hide a body, give you some money, or borrow something I don't wana hear it.
I need you have thought about the shit before you come to me with a problem.

And this is why I'm single.
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lol nah thats real

I think we all feel like that sometimes....just gotta look over it

dont you just want somebody to know what you going thru sometimes?

you dont necessarily need anything from them but to hear you out
 
1/2 said:
lol nah thats real

I think we all feel like that sometimes....just gotta look over it

dont you just want somebody to know what you going thru sometimes?

you dont necessarily need anything from them but to hear you out
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This is how I know I'm....different
It's the only child and raised by a single parent in me. I never had that other person to unload my shit onto. Of course I had friends and shit, but it's nothing for me to sit in my head and come up with something on my own or figure out who I need to talk to and what I want or need from them.

So people just talking to me for no reason...I'll listen because I'm considerate, but in my head I'm like "yea but what do you want tho?" Lol. Like let me know upfront this convo won't be going anywhere lol
 
Both, I’m working on being a better listener every single day though. Hubby is both for sure, always listening to me.
Babe, am I a good listener or does my crazy take over when defending you? Lmao @Ghost313
 
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