DOS_patos
Unverified Legion of Trill member
Give this lady advice.
My husband was diagnosed with brain cancer in 2001. Doctors told us not to bother acquiring long-term health care since he wouldn’t live five years. Hey, we were happy. He could have been hit by a bus. He passed in 2016. I turned out to be his long-term health-care aide.
He was diagnosed with a brain tumor that aggressively mutates. His original biopsy was switched with that of a woman with breast cancer, so he was given the wrong treatment. We sued the hospital, which had a cap for malpractice. We received a settlement of $700,000, and gave 50% to the attorney.
My husband was a high-end hospitality executive, and he asked that I let him continue to manage our bank accounts, because it made him feel like he was still working.
I concentrated on raising our children, and was locked out of our accounts. I never knew where the money was going.
When his health started to noticeably deteriorate, I requested a letter from our doctor stating that it was time for me to become his power of attorney, but I needed two signatures from immediate family members. I didn’t want to ask my children, who had just come of age, so I asked his sister and brothers. They did not respond.
During this time, his mother needed to be moved to a retirement home. Her daughter, my husband’s sister, sold all of her belongings at a garage sale. His mom had been living with his sister’s family, and she provided them with the money to completely renovate their home.
My husband’s brothers and sister had 16 children among them. When my husband’s mother passed, we never saw a will. My husband was given money here and there for about a year. Nothing made sense, and I still had no access to my husband’s accounts.
His one activity was constantly checking the mail. One day, I checked the mail before my husband, and found a cancellation notice from John Hancock on his $700,000 life-insurance policy. I tried and failed to reinstate the policy. I called and got two new policies — not for a lot of money — and he died two months before they went into effect.
After he was put into a rehab facility, I was given access to his accounts. All the money was gone — his IRAs, bank accounts and stocks, all of it.
I looked at the paper trail, and went back 10 years: $45,000 was taken out month after month. It started just after his mother was placed in the nursing home. There is no tracking number, just the bank statements.
My husband refused to tell me what happened to the money. He blamed the banks.
I contacted an accountant who came out to the house. With my husband sitting next to me, I showed him all of the bank statements and other documents. When my husband was out of the room, the accountant said, “I’m sorry, you need to get a divorce. There is nothing I can do, but I won’t charge you for this.”
My adult children and I are devastated. We have literally lost everything, but we now get FB, +1.22% notices of my husband’s cousins going on wild vacations. I can’t help but suspect that the two things are connected. What kind of people do this? I don’t know how they can live with themselves.
What did he do with all the money? I have never been able to trace it to anything. I know his mom was put into a nursing home and the dates do coincide for that time, but I have no proof of that. It just seems like his family sucked us dry, and then wrote us off.
I thought maybe it was online gambling, but we had the same credit cards, and I didn’t see any indication of that. I did keep his computer’s server, but really don’t have the money to have someone investigate that. I am so upset about the money, but know realistically that it won’t be recovered.
He even took money from my kids’ college fund. I sold my jewelry to pay for my kids to go to college. My son also used his savings and, much to my chagrin, my daughter took out a student loan without my knowledge.
I thought we had a happy marriage. I felt — and still do feel — like I’m in “The Twilight Zone.”
My husband was diagnosed with brain cancer in 2001. Doctors told us not to bother acquiring long-term health care since he wouldn’t live five years. Hey, we were happy. He could have been hit by a bus. He passed in 2016. I turned out to be his long-term health-care aide.
He was diagnosed with a brain tumor that aggressively mutates. His original biopsy was switched with that of a woman with breast cancer, so he was given the wrong treatment. We sued the hospital, which had a cap for malpractice. We received a settlement of $700,000, and gave 50% to the attorney.
My husband was a high-end hospitality executive, and he asked that I let him continue to manage our bank accounts, because it made him feel like he was still working.
I concentrated on raising our children, and was locked out of our accounts. I never knew where the money was going.
When his health started to noticeably deteriorate, I requested a letter from our doctor stating that it was time for me to become his power of attorney, but I needed two signatures from immediate family members. I didn’t want to ask my children, who had just come of age, so I asked his sister and brothers. They did not respond.
During this time, his mother needed to be moved to a retirement home. Her daughter, my husband’s sister, sold all of her belongings at a garage sale. His mom had been living with his sister’s family, and she provided them with the money to completely renovate their home.
My husband’s brothers and sister had 16 children among them. When my husband’s mother passed, we never saw a will. My husband was given money here and there for about a year. Nothing made sense, and I still had no access to my husband’s accounts.
His one activity was constantly checking the mail. One day, I checked the mail before my husband, and found a cancellation notice from John Hancock on his $700,000 life-insurance policy. I tried and failed to reinstate the policy. I called and got two new policies — not for a lot of money — and he died two months before they went into effect.
After he was put into a rehab facility, I was given access to his accounts. All the money was gone — his IRAs, bank accounts and stocks, all of it.
I looked at the paper trail, and went back 10 years: $45,000 was taken out month after month. It started just after his mother was placed in the nursing home. There is no tracking number, just the bank statements.
My husband refused to tell me what happened to the money. He blamed the banks.
I contacted an accountant who came out to the house. With my husband sitting next to me, I showed him all of the bank statements and other documents. When my husband was out of the room, the accountant said, “I’m sorry, you need to get a divorce. There is nothing I can do, but I won’t charge you for this.”
My adult children and I are devastated. We have literally lost everything, but we now get FB, +1.22% notices of my husband’s cousins going on wild vacations. I can’t help but suspect that the two things are connected. What kind of people do this? I don’t know how they can live with themselves.
What did he do with all the money? I have never been able to trace it to anything. I know his mom was put into a nursing home and the dates do coincide for that time, but I have no proof of that. It just seems like his family sucked us dry, and then wrote us off.
I thought maybe it was online gambling, but we had the same credit cards, and I didn’t see any indication of that. I did keep his computer’s server, but really don’t have the money to have someone investigate that. I am so upset about the money, but know realistically that it won’t be recovered.
He even took money from my kids’ college fund. I sold my jewelry to pay for my kids to go to college. My son also used his savings and, much to my chagrin, my daughter took out a student loan without my knowledge.
I thought we had a happy marriage. I felt — and still do feel — like I’m in “The Twilight Zone.”
