2023/2024 Football/Soccer Thread ⚽️
- Thread starter Infamous114
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Young_Chitlin
Carajo 🇵🇪🧩
Elzo69Renaissance
These scars are the only real proof they could not
Northside7
OG
Tottenham.
LMAO!
LMAO!
dontdiedontkillanyone
Show some love, you losers!
dontdiedontkillanyone
Show some love, you losers!
Rolling drunk
Colleen Rooney's birthday nightmare
Quote of the day
“We basically just started binge drinking, it was actually quite fun” - Rafael Van der Vaart on the aftermath of the Netherlands’ 2010 World Cup final defeat.FOOTBALL
It says here you’re an 86 year old from Macclesfield
By all rights, Ravel Morrison should be enjoying the twilight of a glorious career, swanning around with vacuous TikTok hotties, endorsing dubious pyramid schemes, and ditching his Rolls Royce Phantom on double yellows without a care in the world.
But the universe works in mysterious ways.
The ex-Man Utd prodigy was fined £1,000 this week after being caught using a fraudulent disabled permit to park his Audi in Manchester city centre.
Rav admitted he’d bought the blue badge, which belonged to “a deceased person”, for fifty quid from “someone in Old Trafford”.
Makes you wonder…
FOOTBALL
Squirrelled away
Bar a few catty jibes at Rebekah Vardy, Coleen Rooney’s new autobiography was disappointingly light on scandal.
She certainly didn’t dwell on her 18th birthday party, which descended into drunken family warfare.
According to a newspaper report at the time:
Shocked teammates looked on as Rooney's "rolling drunk" mother engaged in a slanging match with Miss McCloughlin's mother while the two fathers brawled on the floor. Wayne's uncle and a close family friend were left drenched in blood.
The book also omits Wazza getting caught knobbing a prostitute after writing her a note which read: “To Charlotte, I shagged U on 28 Dec, loads of love, Wayne Rooney.”
After that incident, a fuming Coleen ran out of the couple’s house and “headed for the nearby National Trust Squirrel Walk.”
“Before Rooney could catch her up, she had ripped off her £25,000 platinum and diamond engagement ring and thrown it into dense undergrowth where it could not be found.”
BASKETBALL
Butt of the joke
The long-suffering bigwigs behind British Basketball have seen off many threats to their fledgling sport: crippling budget cuts, American talent poachers, and the total indifference of the British public.
But after a decade of carefully curating their BBL brand, they’re facing an unexpected new hurdle - young women injecting fat into their buttocks.
The Brazilian Butt Lift has become so popular it’s taken over the initials BBL, forcing the league to ditch the nickname and ask teams to stop using it.
They’ve even got a new logo, which to be honest, kind of looks like a surgically altered arse…
FOOTBALL
Pascal’s rager
Last we heard of former Spurs defender Pascal Chimbonda, he was ordered to “wait in reception” after getting sent off for a horror tackle in a 7-a-side kickabout.
So we had high hopes when the Frenchman took the reins at ninth tier Skelmersdale United.
Things got off to a rocky start - in his first game, Pascal got caught up in an on-field scrap with hated rivals Barnoldswick Town, landing himself a red card and a five match touchline ban.
Unfazed, the 2006 World Cup finalist invited The Athletic to observe his methods when he returned to the dugout.
But rather than inspiring his players with gems he picked up from Zidane, Pascal gave them a 7 minute bollocking that included 72 swear words and ended:
What the fuck! What the fuck! What the fuck! What the fuck! What the fuck! Seriously, what the fuck!
They lost 6-0.
FOOTBALL
Just wishing them good luck
So it’s back to anger management classes for Nottingham Forest and Olympiakos owner Evangelos Marinakis, who has watched both sides lose 5-0 in recent weeks.
The portly shipping magnate stormed out of Craven Cottage on Wednesday night, chucking his VIP pass in a neighbour’s hedge.
Vange can probably handle a fixed penalty notice for littering - he’s certainly fought off worse charges.
In his native Greece, he was acquitted of heroin trafficking and match-fixing, but only after prosecutors made some very colourful allegations.
They claimed a referee had his bakery bombed after refusing Marinakis’ requests to favour Olympiakos in a crunch match.
And an Athens gallery owner says she once refused to sell a valuable painting to him. Two days later, a group of men stormed the gallery and threw cups of yoghurt over her.
Marinakis denies involvement, but he did admit to a habit of visiting the referee's dressing room before important matches - something he explained as "just wishing them good luck".
Quick hits
When he managed Inter Milan, Roy Hodgson kept calling Andrea Pirlo “Pirla”, which means “dickhead”.
Chinese Man United fans refer to Man City as "Little cousin sister".
Don’t forget you get 10% off the UK’s favourite alcohol-free beers at Lucky Saint using code UPSHOT10.AND FINALLY
Brazil nuts
Until this week, Pele’s old side Santos had never been relegated from Brazil’s top flight.
Naturally, the fans are taking it with the kind of restraint and understanding you’d expect.
dontdiedontkillanyone
Show some love, you losers!
Young_Chitlin
Carajo 🇵🇪🧩
Argentina, Peru
Ecuador, Jamaica
Uruguay, USA
Brazil, Colombia
It will be very competitive this year
dontdiedontkillanyone
Show some love, you losers!
Automatic-only tho
Dude is only gonna be driving Ranges, Bugatis, Lambos, Ferraris etc so hes only gonna need an automatic...
Cant remember last time I had a manual car, man I miss burning through gears thinking Im Colin Mcrae lol
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dontdiedontkillanyone
Show some love, you losers!
Tbf I'm still repping a manual. Everyone I know who finally went automatic said they'll never go back... It's probably just a British/European thing
dontdiedontkillanyone
Show some love, you losers!
dontdiedontkillanyone
Show some love, you losers!
toheeb27
OG
@Blue_London @Nope Chelsea Twitter are LIVID we are trying to sign another 16 year old midfielder, lol. This kid looks legit though.
i miss Roman.....
Yeah I was anti auto for years, I was into my hot hatches and sporty cars in 00's so it was all about manuals, like you all I heard once you go auto you'll never go back... its true now!!! haha I couldnt be assed with an manual everyday driver, especially as you can drop down gears in autos now...
Though if I ever get a classic second car for the weekend, it will defo be manual, I would love a classic fast Ford, old skool Rover or E30/E36 BMW *chefs kiss*...