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When you get home what are you telling her?

Duwop said:
Like you can't buy someone into a role....

Either they with it or they not.... So if that's what you want find someone eager to play that role.

A new car and house ain't gonna change them into a whole new person
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I dunno about that. If a man and his wife both work 40 hours/week they may split household duties accordingly. Well if he eventually starts his own business that has him working 60+ hours/week but he now makes enough that she doesn't have to work anymore...I don't think it's asking much for her to take on additional household duties. So I think you should be able to buy someone into a role.
 
Bow to Royalty said:
I dunno about that. If a man and his wife both work 40 hours/week they may split household duties accordingly. Well if he eventually starts his own business that has him working 60+ hours/week but he now makes enough that she doesn't have to work anymore...I don't think it's asking much for her to take on additional household duties. So I think you should be able to buy someone into a role.
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And what if she dont wanna give up her career, regardless of what he makes?
 
Chicity said:
And what if she dont wanna give up her career, regardless of what he makes?
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No problem. At that point she's not losing duties while not picking any up. She's still contributing to the home financially like she always has, and in household duties like she always has. BUT... if she decides to keep her ass at home and stop contributing financially...
 
Scandalust313 said:
Agreed. There's nothing wrong with anyone stating what they want in a relationship.

I just feel like that should be a conversation long before getting into a relationship so both parties can make an informed decision about whether or not to proceed.

However, let's say they talk when he gets home and they agree on what her "role" is in their relationship; just because they agree doesn't mean she's "supposed" to do it. It just means she's decided that she's okay with doing "her part" to make him happy/comfortable/satisfied, etc.
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So you don't think that agreeing that something is your part or responsibility is the same thing as accepting it as something you're supposed to do within the confines of the relationship?

I'm not asking this question to be argumentative. I'm just curious because I would have never separated those two things.
 
The Lonious Monk said:
So you don't think that agreeing that something is your part or responsibility is the same thing as accepting it as something you're supposed to do within the confines of the relationship?

I'm not asking this question to be argumentative. I'm just curious because I would have never separated those two things.
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This is why men get confused as hell arguing with women. "Just because I agreed to do it doesn't mean I'm SUPPOSED to do it"

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The Lonious Monk said:
So you don't think that agreeing that something is your part or responsibility is the same thing as accepting it as something you're supposed to do within the confines of the relationship?

I'm not asking this question to be argumentative. I'm just curious because I would have never separated those two things.
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"My part" is too vague so *I* don't use that term interchangeably with "responsibility".

*For me*, my part is something I choose to do because it's what I want to do

What I take on or what has become my responsibility may not be what I want to do...but it may be good for the situation so I do what needs to be done. It's practicality, for me.
 
Why y'all caught in semantics?

Who the fuck cares WHAT the item was. It could've been baby oil, deodorant, fuckin soap.

The point is, she was too selfish to be bothered to get anything.
 
Mister B. said:
Why y'all caught in semantics?

Who the fuck cares WHAT the item was. It could've been baby oil, deodorant, fuckin soap.

The point is, she was too selfish to be bothered to get anything.
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Semantics are sometimes a way for people to move goal posts or make a point that didn't need to be made

Mostly they're just for the phuck of it 🤷‍♀️

But yeah, what you said...periodt.
 
Cain said:
Want to get rid of a woman fast......give her what she ask for then ask her for the same thing in return and watch what happens 🤣🤣
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Facts
Or worse do something that she does.
Bitches will lose their fucking minds
 
That man has a horrible view of gender roles, women, respect, or whatever you wanna call it.
 
Los216 said:
That man has a horrible view of gender roles, women, respect, or whatever you wanna call it.
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It's not about gender roles though. He doesn't have those expectations of her because she's a woman. Based on the snipped of the convo, he has those expectations because she's a homemaker. I don't think they'd be having this same convo if she was an attorney making more money than him.

Scandalust313 said:
"My part" is too vague so *I* don't use that term interchangeably with "responsibility".

*For me*, my part is something I choose to do because it's what I want to do

What I take on or what has become my responsibility may not be what I want to do...but it may be good for the situation so I do what needs to be done. It's practicality, for me.
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I think I get what you're saying, though it's a bit confusing. I'm not saying you way of thinking is wrong, just different from mine, that's all.

With your framing, I think this guy considers her getting socks and little things like that to be more than "her part." He considers those things to be her responsibility as a homemaker. I'd agree that they should have cleared that early on, but our conversation kinda shows how men and women can communicate and still not come to the agreement they think they are. Like dude could have gone to you and got you to agree to something as "your part" thinking you were taking that thing on as a responsibility when you really only saw it as something that you had to do as long as you wanted to do it. If that makes sense.
 
The Lonious Monk said:
I think I get what you're saying, though it's a bit confusing. I'm not saying you way of thinking is wrong, just different from mine, that's all.

With your framing, I think this guy considers her getting socks and little things like that to be more than "her part." He considers those things to be her responsibility as a homemaker. I'd agree that they should have cleared that early on, but our conversation kinda shows how men and women can communicate and still not come to the agreement they think they are. Like dude could have gone to you and got you to agree to something as "your part" thinking you were taking that thing on as a responsibility when you really only saw it as something that you had to do as long as you wanted to do it. If that makes sense.
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No disrespect at all, Monk (promise) but I wouldn't care whether or not you thought my way of thinking was wrong. We're not dating or moving toward a relationship. And of course we think differently, that goes without saying lol

Bottom line, none of this foolery (the text convo) would apply to me and how I move in dating/relationships.
 
Scandalust313 said:
No disrespect at all, Monk (promise) but I wouldn't care whether or not you thought my way of thinking was wrong. We're not dating or moving toward a relationship. And of course we think differently, that goes without saying lol

Bottom line, none of this foolery (the text convo) would apply to me and how I move in dating/relationships.
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lol It's cool. I only qualify things like that with you and some others cause ya'll are cool and I got no problems with you, so I don't want the shit that I'm saying to come off as offensive.
 
Mister B. said:
Why y'all caught in semantics?

Who the fuck cares WHAT the item was. It could've been baby oil, deodorant, fuckin soap.

The point is, she was too selfish to be bothered to get anything.
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How did you reach this conclusion?

Sounds as if he came at her about a specific role/part in they relationship that she was unaware of and that he tryna to enforce and using what he does for the relationship as a reason for falling in line
 
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