MzLyricist
How much better is it to get wisdom than gold!
You did great! I'm still hurting on the inside @ the ending .;l'//
Snatched : An Original Short Story by Dupacalypse Now!
- Thread starter Duwop
- Start date
If you really felt it, lol I did my job
here's a link to another story i did....
I'll work on posting it in it's entirety here as well later, but most of the folk here read it on the other site
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That had to be done.
I can't tell you how many times I've seen people do crazy shit in front of kids. every now n then you gotta be reminded why that's fucking retarded...
The hell wrong with Shannon?
I was pulling for Jeff too, and Shannon fought her ass off in that store....
I'm surprised nobody shed a tear for My girl Nae...
This was my attempt to really do a lot of speaking from a female voice. I was worried that the voice might still come of too rough....
My next joint is going to be 100% from a female voice. it's going to be much more complex than anything else I've done....the idea popped in my head,,I bounced it of my wife,, she liked it,, and I'm going to go all in. I want to have it done by Valentine's day. I'm actually pissed I didn't bring my note pad, cuz my head is burning with ideas
I'm surprised nobody shed a tear for My girl Nae...
This was my attempt to really do a lot of speaking from a female voice. I was worried that the voice might still come of too rough....
My next joint is going to be 100% from a female voice. it's going to be much more complex than anything else I've done....the idea popped in my head,,I bounced it of my wife,, she liked it,, and I'm going to go all in. I want to have it done by Valentine's day. I'm actually pissed I didn't bring my note pad, cuz my head is burning with ideas
MzLyricist
How much better is it to get wisdom than gold!
I love how humble Shannon is towards Jeff. The respect there is admirable. Under different circumstances that relationship could have definitely flourished! Ugh I'm still sad lol
I unno, cuz the couple I got inspiration from, they were toxic. they were both so thorough that when they did fight, it was vicious.
Look at how quick Shannon was to ill....
MzLyricist
How much better is it to get wisdom than gold!
Yeah true, but, I'm speaking on the respect factor. That respect that they had for each other was golden! Can you do a part 2 to the short story where somehow miraculously they all lived and are doing very well and living happily ever after.......:ha:
MzLyricist
How much better is it to get wisdom than gold!
That just made me more sad because I KNOW that junk will never happen!:mf1::fuckem2::jordan:
NeighborhoodNomad
the marathon continues........
I finally had time to read this story in its entirety. I like it. The style of writing was different than the first story you dropped but that's good also because it shows versatility. Your description of scenes is very detailed in both and that's important. I like that the ending scene was the most climactic and then it ends abruptly.
The scene introducing struggles reminded me of the opening scene in Harlem Nights.
This is a very good story that was very well written.
:salute:
The scene introducing struggles reminded me of the opening scene in Harlem Nights.
This is a very good story that was very well written.
:salute:
IP360
Doctorate & Ph.D in Bootyology
Nigga! It's a good thing I just happened to come in this forum and see this thread. Soon as i saw the thread, I immediately began reading. Wow.
This shyt was definitely darker than Frantic. But damn...
"She was cut off by multiple shots from Jeff. He just didn’t care anymore."
...I was not expecting that. You kinda conflicted on how you should about that part.
B/c on one hand, that was some Cold-blooded shyt he did. No soul. But on the other, you see his point of view, and understand why he did it. He sees his girl and son gettin hauled off by Rico and Struggles, so his 1st instinct is to protect his family by any means.
Plus in his mind, he's thinking Nae was a part of that. So seeing his girl gettin mauled just erased the last bit of morals he had. Kinda ironic tho how all this started with him and Shy snatching up Nae. And pretty much the same thing happening to Shannon.
Seriously tho, you got screenplay worthy material. B/c i was actually actin out the scenes, and toying wit the different reactions and interactions with the characters. Especially that very scene where Jeff and Shy was mulling over the idea of snatching Nae.
This shyt was definitely darker than Frantic. But damn...
"She was cut off by multiple shots from Jeff. He just didn’t care anymore."
...I was not expecting that. You kinda conflicted on how you should about that part.
B/c on one hand, that was some Cold-blooded shyt he did. No soul. But on the other, you see his point of view, and understand why he did it. He sees his girl and son gettin hauled off by Rico and Struggles, so his 1st instinct is to protect his family by any means.
Plus in his mind, he's thinking Nae was a part of that. So seeing his girl gettin mauled just erased the last bit of morals he had. Kinda ironic tho how all this started with him and Shy snatching up Nae. And pretty much the same thing happening to Shannon.
Seriously tho, you got screenplay worthy material. B/c i was actually actin out the scenes, and toying wit the different reactions and interactions with the characters. Especially that very scene where Jeff and Shy was mulling over the idea of snatching Nae.
You prolly the only person who shed a tear for Nae....she was 7 months pregnant for crying out loud
That shit hurt me too bruh