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Self-Care

MissK

MissK

I was Not here
Hey ladies! (guys as well)

One of my goals and passion in life is mental health awareness in the black community. For those that don't know me I am a few credit hours away from completing my BA in Psychology and in the time I have spent taking classes I have been saddened to see that there is not much focus on our community. There are many of us that turn to the church to solve our 'mental issues' or they go ignored completely and statistically our group is under-diagnosed when it comes to this particular area. I did have the privilege of taking a Black Psychology class taught by a young black woman who I now consider to be a mentor and friend. She recently did a program focused on SelfCare and I am so excited about it that I would like to get a discussion going on that and other issues of mental wellness.

So what is self-care? Self-care is care provided for you by you. Identifying your own needs and taking the steps to meet those needs. Sometimes we get so busy tending to the needs of others that we forget to take care of our own or feel that if we do it is being selfish. In fact it is the very opposite because when we take care of ourselves we can better take care of others.

So in this thread I'd love to see us brainstorm and talk about taking care of ourselves. I am hoping that if there is interest I can continue threads dealing with mental health related issues for both women and men.

So join me in this activity of self-care brainstorming:

  1. Find yourself a pen, paper (or the notes of your phone) and a timer (which is probably also on your phone).
  2. Write “What brings me joy?” and then for 1 minute, begin to brainstorm and write down all that brings you joy. Stop after 1 minute and read over your list.
  3. Write “What will move me forward in life?” and then for 1 minute, begin to brainstorm and write down all that will help move you forward in your life. Stop after 1 minute and read over your list.
  4. Write “What is good for me?” and then for 1 minute, begin to brainstorm and write down all that is good for you. Stop after 1 minute and read over your list.
  5. Write “What is self-care?” and then for 1 minute, begin to brainstorm and write down all that comes to your mind when you think of self-care. Stop after 1 minute and read over your list.
  6. Read over all of your lists one last time. Any similarities? Any differences? Any patterns? Anything that stands out? (this list credited to Dr. Thornton)
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i like that one of the points places an emphasis on joy and not happiness
 
Congrats on the goal you want to chase and the impending graduation.

Yes, people in your profession are important to this world.

Don't have any doubts about what you are doing.
 
many dont know, but i have a B.S. in Psych...i chose not to pursue it further b/c of stuff i was going through after i graduated, but i've always felt the desire to want to help others

i applaud my boo @MissK
 
AP21 said:
i like that one of the points places an emphasis on joy and not happiness
Click to expand...

You know it's funny I used to equate joy and happiness as the same thing. I used to want happiness-I thought that was the meaning of life. I even took a course centered on happiness psychology. What I found was that I really wanted contentment .

"If you chase happiness, it will always be one step ahead of you. If you chase contentment, there is nowhere to run. The opportunity to sit in peace and appreciate what it means to be a human being is always available to you, and it's called contentment" (Diogenes)


There are three layers of contentment to consider:

1. Emotional contentment is a temporary, felt sense of peaceful pleasure when all of one's biological and psychological needs are met in the present moment. Some examples include finishing a delicious meal, sitting in a warm bath, and lying in the sun.


2. Practical contentment is a lifestyle choice that cultivates knowing what it means to have enough in life. A person who exercises practical contentment values simplicity, nonviolence, gratitude, and self-awareness in day-to-day life. Some examples include living within one's means, donating unneeded possessions, and knowing how to balance work, relationships, and personal growth.


3. Fundamental contentment is a feeling of indestructible well-being that comes from unconditional acceptance of the present moment. A fundamentally content perspective allows us to feel a sense of unshakable "ok-ness" despite thoughts, emotions, and sensations that compete for our attention - no matter how strong they may be. Anyone can learn how to cultivate this perspective using a variety of techniques like mindfulness meditation, self-compassion, and emotional intelligence training.
 
AP21 said:
many dont know, but i have a B.S. in Psych...i chose not to pursue it further b/c of stuff i was going through after i graduated, but i've always felt the desire to want to help others

i applaud my boo @MissK
Click to expand...

Really? I guess that explains your sensible and mild-mannered demeanor.

By the way, I always used "sensible" when using the preceding term to describe you.

Someone else used it and put "sensitive", LOL.
 
MissK said:
You know it's funny I used to equate joy and happiness as the same thing. I used to want happiness-I thought that was the meaning of life. I even took a course centered on happiness psychology. What I found was that I really wanted contentment .

"If you chase happiness, it will always be one step ahead of you. If you chase contentment, there is nowhere to run. The opportunity to sit in peace and appreciate what it means to be a human being is always available to you, and it's called contentment" (Diogenes)


There are three layers of contentment to consider:

1. Emotional contentment is a temporary, felt sense of peaceful pleasure when all of one's biological and psychological needs are met in the present moment. Some examples include finishing a delicious meal, sitting in a warm bath, and lying in the sun.


2. Practical contentment is a lifestyle choice that cultivates knowing what it means to have enough in life. A person who exercises practical contentment values simplicity, nonviolence, gratitude, and self-awareness in day-to-day life. Some examples include living within one's means, donating unneeded possessions, and knowing how to balance work, relationships, and personal growth.


3. Fundamental contentment is a feeling of indestructible well-being that comes from unconditional acceptance of the present moment. A fundamentally content perspective allows us to feel a sense of unshakable "ok-ness" despite thoughts, emotions, and sensations that compete for our attention - no matter how strong they may be. Anyone can learn how to cultivate this perspective using a variety of techniques like mindfulness meditation, self-compassion, and emotional intelligence training.
Click to expand...

love love love this...i think the word contentment in general gets a bad rep. But these definitions are everything!
 
NoOneImportant said:
Really? I guess that explains your sensible and mild-mannered demeanor.

By the way, I always used "sensible" when using the preceding term to describe you.

Someone else used it and put "sensitive", LOL.
Click to expand...

yes...my secret is out now lol

but that demeanor has been a detriment as well as i just have a different view on things that conflict with others and often causes dissention
 
MissK said:
You know it's funny I used to equate joy and happiness as the same thing. I used to want happiness-I thought that was the meaning of life. I even took a course centered on happiness psychology. What I found was that I really wanted contentment .

"If you chase happiness, it will always be one step ahead of you. If you chase contentment, there is nowhere to run. The opportunity to sit in peace and appreciate what it means to be a human being is always available to you, and it's called contentment" (Diogenes)


There are three layers of contentment to consider:

1. Emotional contentment is a temporary, felt sense of peaceful pleasure when all of one's biological and psychological needs are met in the present moment. Some examples include finishing a delicious meal, sitting in a warm bath, and lying in the sun.


2. Practical contentment is a lifestyle choice that cultivates knowing what it means to have enough in life. A person who exercises practical contentment values simplicity, nonviolence, gratitude, and self-awareness in day-to-day life. Some examples include living within one's means, donating unneeded possessions, and knowing how to balance work, relationships, and personal growth.


3. Fundamental contentment is a feeling of indestructible well-being that comes from unconditional acceptance of the present moment. A fundamentally content perspective allows us to feel a sense of unshakable "ok-ness" despite thoughts, emotions, and sensations that compete for our attention - no matter how strong they may be. Anyone can learn how to cultivate this perspective using a variety of techniques like mindfulness meditation, self-compassion, and emotional intelligence training.
Click to expand...
This post resonates with a lot of what I've been tryna figure out in recent yrs. Chasing whats defined as happiness sometimes puts a lot of pressure on u n makes u overlook joy n satisfaction. Happiness may be momentary but feeling good about your life is a great baseline. Happiness is more attainable when you've developed the habits to establish n maintain contentment anyway, can't lose with this approach imo.
 
happiness is just a state of mind that is often fulfilled when certain conditions are met. What if one of those conditions isnt being met? you begin to be angry, upset, etc...at people and stuff

Joy is everything b/c its a way of life and not filled with emotion
 
Spot on @BNE !

I found that once I attained contentment, I could then find happiness in so many things. Small things like a cup of coffee in bed on a cold day. Society and the push of social media has kind of skewed our perception of what a happy life is. We are busy chasing what we think is the ideal of a good life instead of being content with our life. Of course I don't mean don't chase your dreams, more so don't lose yourself doing so.
 
I struggle to make time daily for this so today my self care is gonna be multitasked: gonna mix up some beauty products while watching shows and having quality time with my significant other.

what are you doing to uplift yourself?
 
Ways I've been indulging in self care.

I went to therapy for a year. I originally went to help unpack feelings after my last relationship ended, but I ended up discovering some other things about myself that I needed to work on.

I take myself out every other Friday. I usually try a new restaurant or go to a wine bar or get a message.

I'm a skincare junkie so I regularly treat myself to some sort of lotion, body wash, or serum.

I buy myself flowers weekly cause they make happy.

I meditate/ pray daily. Usually in the morning. I also write down what I'm grateful for each day.

Edit: I totally forgot... I have affirmations everywhere. On my phone, around my house, at work. It's my love language.
 
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Tayboo said:
Ways I've been indulging in self care.

I went to therapy for a year. I originally went to help unpack feelings after my last relationship ended, but I ended up discovering some other things about myself that I needed to work on.

I take myself out every other Friday. I usually try a new restaurant or go to a wine bar or get a message.

I'm a skincare junkie so I regularly treat myself to some sort of lotion, body wash, or serum.

I buy myself flowers weekly cause they make happy.

I meditate/ pray daily. Usually in the morning. I also write down what I'm grateful for each day.
Click to expand...
When you do this are you usually by yourself or have one of your girlfriends with you?
 
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