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Question about settling.

Who Settles more often

  • Men

    Votes: 5 35.7%

  • Women

    Votes: 2 14.3%

  • Both

    Votes: 7 50.0%
  • Total voters
    14
Old Man Cain

Old Man Cain

OG
It's known that in some relationships one of the two people in the relationship have settled with the person their with and not the person of their dreams/wants. Like I know of some who got with their mate because that person treated them right, held them down and or provided a security. Still if they could've had anyone they wanted they would've been someone else who fitted their desire in different ways ie, money, body/physical or whatever the case.


So my question is, who settles more often than not men or women?
 
Honestly I think the term "settling" is mad immature and disrespectful to the person you're with.

It's like a dishonest acceptance. I would be mortified if I felt my wife "settled" for me. Like if you really think you can do better. You really would be happy with someone else...... Fucking go.... Bye.....I care too much to be responsible for you being unhappy cuz you wanna be with someone else.

And vice versa. If I really felt like I didn't really wanna be here. I wouldn't be here. I don't believe in wasting someone's time. I'd been left and gone after what I wanted if I felt I wasn't satisfied here.

I think the feeling of settling comes from people who aren't honest with their decision making. They knew all along the really didn't like that person... They just chose them for appearance and convenience. And I don't believe that's gender specific. I think it's personal.

Men and women lie to themselves about what they really want in a partner equally. It's reflective in a large portion of these relationships takes. People been stopped dating people they like.... They date according to what the world says is attractive..... and try to force a genuine attraction after the fact
 
Duwop said:
Honestly I think the term "settling" is mad immature and disrespectful to the person you're with.

It's like a dishonest acceptance. I would be mortified if I felt my wife "settled" for me. Like if you really think you can do better. You really would be happy with someone else...... Fucking go.... Bye.....I care too much to be responsible for you being unhappy cuz you wanna be with someone else.

And vice versa. If I really felt like I didn't really wanna be here. I wouldn't be here. I don't believe in wasting someone's time. I'd been left and gone after what I wanted if I felt I wasn't satisfied here.

I think the feeling of settling comes from people who aren't honest with their decision making. They knew all along the really didn't like that person... They just chose them for appearance and convenience. And I don't believe that's gender specific. I think it's personal.

Men and women lie to themselves about what they really want in a partner equally. It's reflective in a large portion of these relationships takes. People been stopped dating people they like.... They date according to what the world says is attractive..... and try to force a genuine attraction after the fact
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Top quality posting right there with the bold!!!!
 
Scandalust313 said:
I think it's pretty even if people are being honest
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I agree it's pretty even. I'll add that men seem to be able to go through life better with that decision especially if they're stepping out because women file for divorce at a much higher rate than men.

So after the realization seems after a while women just can't stay in that settled relationship anymore even if they're cheating. Men seem to be fine with staying in the settled relationship even if they're cheating.
 
Duwop said:
I think the feeling of settling comes from people who aren't honest with their decision making. They knew all along the really didn't like that person... They just chose them for appearance and convenience. And I don't believe that's gender specific. I think it's personal.

Men and women lie to themselves about what they really want in a partner equally. It's reflective in a large portion of these relationships takes. People been stopped dating people they like.... They date according to what the world says is attractive..... and try to force a genuine attraction after the fact
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👆!!!
 
@Scandalust313 I got question/comment that may or may not be a lil controversial that goes with this thread or could be a thread on it own. You got time to reply?
 
To piggyback on a point that @Duwop made...I think a LOT of people settle b/c they feel they can't do better. Yes, it's personal.

I think if more people thought better of themselves/felt worthy and walked in that, there would be a lot less "settling" for just anything going on...thus better/healthier relationships/marriages. When you know better/are better, you do/choose/attract better.
 
Scandalust313 said:
To piggyback on a point that @Duwop made...I think a LOT of people settle b/c they feel they can't do better. Yes, it's personal.

I think if more people thought better of themselves/felt worthy and walked in that, there would be a lot less "settling" for just anything going on...thus better/healthier relationships/marriages. When you know better/are better, you do/choose/attract better.
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You can say some people don’t have that self confidence in themselves and they would fell that if that person likes them then it’s ok with them. Not knowing that the person that they are settling with might not be the one to help them gain that self confidence.
 
You have to define settling.

If you can't get your ideal women or man because your lack of attractiveness or wealth and ended up with someone else, that's not really settling, you hit your peak.

Settling to me is an obvious 10 dealing with a 5. People that are 10s that deal with 5s have issues. Control issues, low self esteem, abandonment issues typically.

But a 5 thinking they are an 8 and believing they deserve better and ending up with a 5 isn't settling, that's delusion. Some people are delusional. I know plenty of people who were hot shit in their friend group or their neighborhood but outside of that, they are a solid 6.

I never was delusional and was pretty upfront with plenty of women in my time, that they didn't meet my ideal and honestly they could do better than me if they got they shit together.

I am a man of last resort baby, you falling seriously in love with me means you got issues. I enjoy your company though, but I am like Coach Kal, I know a star when I see one, get to the money baby, staying 4 years with me would be a mistake.
 
DMorgan said:
@Scandalust313 I got question/comment that may or may not be a lil controversial that goes with this thread or could be a thread on it own. You got time to reply?
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Depends on how "controversial" it is lol

Seriously tho...I try to stay away from topics that can go left. I'm much more discriminating about what I consume and to what/how I respond, these days
Big_Ev said:
You can say some people don’t have that self confidence in themselves and they would fell that if that person likes them then it’s ok with them. Not knowing that the person that they are settling with might not be the one to help them gain that self confidence.
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Ev, not trying to be funny at all, here...but I need for you to clean this up a little so I can understand what you're trying to say. Punctuation/grammar check, please.
 
Scandalust313 said:
Depends on how "controversial" it is lol

Seriously tho...I try to stay away from topics that can go left. I'm much more discriminating about what I consume and to what/how I respond, these days
Click to expand...

LLS

IMO it's dumb ass shit for women not to factor in security (physical, financial or both) when choosing a mate. I mean shouldn't a woman want a man that could protect her and possible kids if someone broke into the home? Shouldn't a woman want a man who can provide financially for her and possible kids or whatever goals they may agree on depending on the lifestyle they want live?

None of my comments are in the sense that a woman can't physically or financially secure herself. So PLEASE don't take it that way. It's just that why wouldn't women heavily factor all that in when choosing a mate. It just makes life and relationship sense to me.
 
DMorgan said:
LLS

IMO it's dumb ass shit for women not to factor in security (physical, financial or both) when choosing a mate. I mean shouldn't a woman want a man that could protect her and possible kids if someone broke into the home? Shouldn't a woman want a man who can provide financially for her and possible kids or whatever goals they may agree on depending on the lifestyle they want live?

None of my comments are in the sense that a woman can't physically or financially secure herself. So PLEASE don't take it that way. It's just that why wouldn't women heavily factor all that in when choosing a mate. It just makes life and relationship sense to me.
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I think I said it earlier why women (people) settle for just anything...it's b/c they don't think they can do/deserve better.
Some people are products of their environments, as well...maybe they come from a long line of ain't shitness and/or bad decision-makers, so it's all they know as examples of how relationships/marriage operate. They don't even know that choosing your partner is actually a thing...they just kinda end up with a muhphugga.
 
Scandalust313 said:
Depends on how "controversial" it is lol

Seriously tho...I try to stay away from topics that can go left. I'm much more discriminating about what I consume and to what/how I respond, these days

Ev, not trying to be funny at all, here...but I need for you to clean this up a little so I can understand what you're trying to say. Punctuation/grammar check, please.
Click to expand...
My bad. What I was trying to say is everyone doesn’t have the self confidence in themselves. And in turn, that person might just settle with someone who might only click one or two boxes.
 
Big_Ev said:
My bad. What I was trying to say is everyone doesn’t have the self confidence in themselves. And in turn, that person might just settle with someone who might only click one or two boxes.
Click to expand...
Yes! Exactly my point

Thank you for clearing that up, Sir

Good morning, Ev...make today great!🤗
 
It mostly comes from people who don't want to be alone.


For whatever reason, they can't get the type of person they want, so they settle for the type of person they can get.


Doesn't necessarily mean they resent them or think less of them either.


More often than not, it just means they're being more realistic about their expectations and realize that they're never going to find the perfect companion.
 
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