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Love vs Commitment

shutupGabi

Head Auntie of Dragonstone
Mod Squad
In your experience, what was the backbone of your relationships? What drove yall to wana work through rough patches, the fact that yall loved each other or because you made a commitment to be in the relationship?

Realistically it's a bit of both, but which one did you lean more toward?


Another part to this question...which one comes first for you in order to have the other? Like do you need to have the love first in order to commit, or do you commit with the love not being fully realized with the belief that the love will naturally grow deeper with time?
 
Love. I don’t think I ever said to myself “I’m committed to this” but more so “I love the fuck outta him”.

love first. That goes with relationships and friendships. I gotta love you first to be committed to you.
 
For me, it's a combination of both but Commitment is a stronger force.

I've been in relationships that should have been ended but I told myself that my unhappyness wasn't tied to the commitment. It was always more important for me to "be there" than for me to always have everything I wanted.

I'm a male cancer and love is too damn fickle to base what could be the rest of my life on. Loved me some big girls back in the day and now i'm married to a woman half their size. Always said I would date black women but who knows where I would find love if this relationship fails.

I fall in love too easily to base any real decisions. If I have to go looking again it won't be a priority.
 
For me, it's a combination of both but Commitment is a stronger force.

I've been in relationships that should have been ended but I told myself that my unhappyness wasn't tied to the commitment. It was always more important for me to "be there" than for me to always have everything I wanted.

I'm a male cancer and love is too damn fickle to base what could be the rest of my life on. Loved me some big girls back in the day and now i'm married to a woman half their size. Always said I would date black women but who knows where I would find love if this relationship fails.

I fall in love too easily to base any real decisions. If I have to go looking again it won't be a priority.
Couldn't have said this better myself

You June or July?
 
My sons dad is a wack ass cancer. I think his is commitment. No matter how bad it got with me or any other relationship, he was fully committed to staying. I always gave him his props for “being there”. That’s something I truly loved about him in our relationship.

Maybe that’s a trait for cancers.
 
My sons dad is a wack ass cancer. I think his is commitment. No matter how bad it got with me or any other relationship, he was fully committed to staying. I always have him his props for “being there”. That’s something I truly loved about him in our relationship.

Maybe that’s a trait for cancers.
denzelcant.gif
 
My sons dad is a wack ass cancer. I think his is commitment. No matter how bad it got with me or any other relationship, he was fully committed to staying. I always gave him his props for “being there”. That’s something I truly loved about him in our relationship.

Maybe that’s a trait for cancers.

Why he gotta be wack just cause he a cancer? And yea Cancers are supposed to be more family oriented to coincide with the emotional side.
 
The emotions are wack.

Cancers feel emotions on an eleven. I can't think of any other sign that would care as deeply and as much as us. But yea...the down side is we can get just as pissed off about shit that other folks shrug off like its nothing. Wife's a Taurus so most shit don't phase her until it pile up.
 
Interesting thread. Dunno how to answer really. But I say way more commitment than love. Cuz...love ain't enough. That ain't gonna hold a relationship together. Not for me anyway. I feel like love is energy, it exists, it can never be destroyed. But just shifts from one from to another. But that isn't enough to keep a relationship together. Because I've been in more than one situation where I had to say, 'I'll always love you. But I'll have to love you from afar. Peace.'.

When two people are really COMMITTED to one another and COMMITTED to one another's happiness, there are very few things that can come tear them apart.

Love definitely comes before commitment for me.
 
About commitment vs love, for me personally the commitment comes before love. I dont fall in love easy. But if we talk and during the talking stage I feel like we have alot in common and chemistry, we can move to the commitment stage. After that, love should naturally blossom.

On what keeps the relationship together? I would say both love and commitment do. Sometimes its one, sometimes its the other. Sometimes its the fear of starting over. Sometimes its like damn my family met her and loved her and my mom thinks I finally found the one let me make this work her for her sake. Theres alot factors that go into making a relationship work imo.

Easier to let that shit just die imo. Biggest mistake I ever made was trying to hold onto a dead relationship. Learned from it though.
 
Commitment is tied to my word. Imma do what I set out to do. And I'm determined andb stubborn towards that. I don't have to be in love or even happy to be committed. Cuz again, I'm a man of my word.

But again love is what makes me happy, and I strive for happiness in all aspects of m life
 
This shit here a damn double edge sword.

love can fuel your commitment but not the other way around. So once you fall out of love and your left with just commitment, You have to force yourself to see the relationship for what it is and if its even worth continuing.

Had a previous relationship that should have ended in the first 2 months and I let that ride for 3 years cause I was committed to "doing right" by her. That breakup just came out of the blue one day where I was cleaning my place and realized I may as well get it over with.
 
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