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I Have A Character Flaw

Yeah. Just lost one yesterday because of this.

Same fam. Not yesterday but recently.

Towards the very end she was like oh so you just gonna let me go?

I was like yea. Once it gets to this point theres no reason to keep trying.

And ofcourse im the type to block numbers and cut all communication so if she ever reached back out, I wouldnt know.

Plus she in NC and I been in NJ for months and only been back to my apartment in NC for just a few weeks since Covid hit.

She probably thinks i died or something.

Oh well though. Got a new one im building with. Knowing me it ends the same way though. Lmao
 
I think the only way to be on with it is to truly do things from the heart and not expect shit back. It fucking sucks but I think that's the only way not to get disappointed.

Problem is my deep down my heart has never wanted to do that shit. And I don’t wanna hear no FB meme bullshit like “you’ll want to do it for the right person.” I been debunked that.
 
Problem is my deep down my heart has never wanted to do that shit. And I don’t wanna hear no FB meme bullshit like “you’ll want to do it for the right person.” I been debunked that.
this nigga is my mental twin LMAO
 
Problem is my deep down my heart has never wanted to do that shit. And I don’t wanna hear no FB meme bullshit like “you’ll want to do it for the right person.” I been debunked that.
Facts.. That shit sounds good but its human nature to be selfish.. And I feel the only way for a relationship to be truly successful is to be completely unselfish. and thats not realistic. Why should I put your feelings before mine and you're not doing the same? I try my best in my current situation but shit is a struggle.. But I honestly think Monogamy is just not in the cards for you fam lol.. and thats ok
 
i just want people to stop having these lofty expectations of other people

like, cool, you get all did up and wanna fly out for your bday every year...ok

i dont...i just wanna chill and do something lowkey

you like posting all ya business on social media...ok

i dont...
 
All this goes back to me feeling marriage or a "forever" type relationship is just trash.

I love the idea of dating a chick for as long as it lasts, wether its 6 months or 2 years, and when shit runs its course, we both move on to other people.

I been doing that all my life and enjoy it way more than the thought that I got to try hard as hell to make one relationship work. That shit is garbage to me.
 
All this goes back to me feeling marriage or a "forever" type relationship is just trash.

I love the idea of dating a chick for as long as it lasts, wether its 6 months or 2 years, and when shit runs its course, we both move on to other people.

I been doing that all my life and enjoy it way more than the thought that I got to try hard as hell to make one relationship work. That shit is garbage to me.

100%

This is the way to go but it gets more complicated when kids are involved. That’s the only argument I can make in support of marriage these days.
 
One of my character flaws is that I come across as not caring.

If I get jealous, I dont show it. I could be in love, but I supposedly dont express it enough. And other small things. All that adds on to me supposedly not caring.

In my mind though, I care a whole lot.

So many of my relationships died because of this.

Yeah, see now we're poddin'!

I've heard this my fair share of times also. But pretty much every time, it's based on my behavior during disagreements. I'm not a yeller. I don't raise mu voice. I don't get out of character. And I move based on logic. And we all know how that goes over. And beyond that, I'm not a chaser and I FORCE everybody to make their own decisions. So when anytime my girl might be acting out or whatever and she say some off the wall shit, my reply is always some version of 'I love you dearly and that's not how I'd like this to go. But you do whatever it is that you think is best.'.

You have two choices: Control your emotions or allow them to control you.

That's an easy choice for me.
 
I'm with you fellas. I kinda touched on it in the birthday thread.
Ladies expect the world and and rarely match that energy.

I think the only way to be on with it is to truly do things from the heart and not expect shit back. It fucking sucks but I think that's the only way not to get disappointed.

It's more complicated than that. You're right, that is the ONLY way to do it. I do shot for my girl because I love her and because I want her well-taken care of. If I did it based on any reasonable expectation of reciprocation, I would've BEEN stopped doing the things I do, because they haven't been reciprocated for a long time so at this point I know the deal.

But its not about reciprocation of actions...'I did this for you so you do this for me!'.

Na. That's silly. You shouldn't expect for your partner to reciprocate all your noble actions. But it's reasonable for your partner to care about how you feel about the topic and to hold you down, especially when you only ask them to hold you down once in a blue moon.
 
Yeah, see now we're poddin'!

I've heard this my fair share of times also. But pretty much every time, it's based on my behavior during disagreements. I'm not a yeller. I don't raise mu voice. I don't get out of character. And I move based on logic. And we all know how that goes over. And beyond that, I'm not a chaser and I FORCE everybody to make their own decisions. So when anytime my girl might be acting out or whatever and she say some off the wall shit, my reply is always some version of 'I love you dearly and that's not how I'd like this to go. But you do whatever it is that you think is best.'.

You have two choices: Control your emotions or allow them to control you.

That's an easy choice for me.

Im the same way fam. I never yell. I dont argue or nothing. I tell my girl what I want and its her choice to make decisions based on that.

But im like this in every aspect of life, not just relationships.

If im going through something, I just withdraw to within myself and lay low for a few days just thinking bout shit/feeling it out.

Now apply that to a relationship. Lmao. Someshit happened, and instead of talking about or reacting right away, im just chilling and acting distant. I dont even gotta tell you how she reacts.
 
Im the same way fam. I never yell. I dont argue or nothing. I tell my girl what I want and its her choice to make decisions based on that.

But im like this in every aspect of life, not just relationships.

If im going through something, I just withdraw to within myself and lay low for a few days just thinking bout shit/feeling it out.

Now apply that to a relationship. Lmao. Someshit happened, and instead of talking about or reacting right away, im just chilling and acting distant. I dont even gotta tell you how she reacts.

Same. Shit even caused issues with my and my family. Had to explain to my sister 'I'm not built like you. When you going through shit, you thrive on community and your friends and family lifting you up. When I'm going through shit, I want y'all niggas to leave me alone. Check on me and shit, but when I tell you I'm maintaining, that's that. Let me live.'

But I can honestly say that that part of it, my girl doesn't have too much of an issue with. Did in the beginning until she finically understood that it had nothing to do with her and that's just how I'm built. I'll work shit out on my own.
 
It's more complicated than that. You're right, that is the ONLY way to do it. I do shot for my girl because I love her and because I want her well-taken care of. If I did it based on any reasonable expectation of reciprocation, I would've BEEN stopped doing the things I do, because they haven't been reciprocated for a long time so at this point I know the deal.

But its not about reciprocation of actions...'I did this for you so you do this for me!'.

Na. That's silly. You shouldn't expect for your partner to reciprocate all your noble actions. But it's reasonable for your partner to care about how you feel about the topic and to hold you down, especially when you only ask them to hold you down once in a blue moon.
I agree and that is reciprocity.
I dont think anyone on here is looking for equal. I just want our efforts to be recognized, and to be rewarded from time to time.

Also, most people show love in the manner in which they like to receive it. So it would be nice to get held down from time to time.
 
I agree and that is reciprocity.
I dont think anyone on here is looking for equal. I just want our efforts to be recognized, and to be rewarded from time to time.

Also, most people show love in the manner in which they like to receive it. So it would be nice to get held down from time to time.

Years after we broke up, me and my son's mom realized this was our issue all along. It's amazing the things you DON'T think to even consider when you're in your 20s and shit. Looking back at it, shit is super clear.
 
its mad wild how just in two pages, i'm finding we have WAY more in common than i initially thought

some of ya'll are speaking my thoughts verbatim

We mostly a community of people who prefer long form discussions about shit thats not personal rather than hitting instagram and putting our personal lives front center.

With that in mind, most of us was bound to have shit like this in common.
 
Years after we broke up, me and my son's mom realized this was our issue all along. It's amazing the things you DON'T think to even consider when you're in your 20s and shit. Looking back at it, shit is super clear.
Word. The youth is wasted on the young.
Relationships in your 20s look so simple to fix when you're in your 30s. I dont know if it really is, or it's just hindsight being 20/20
 
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