I Have A Character Flaw

[AZTG]

Y'all do know communication is critical in healthy relationships right?

Nah, never heard that before.

Damn this changes everything

 

[SeaSnake]

Y'all do know communication is critical in healthy relationships right?

of course but I don’t like prying I’m open with a lot of stuff but it needs to be natural I don’t like telling folks everything in the first month

 

[silverfoxx]

of course but I don’t like prying I’m open with a lot of stuff but it needs to be natural I don’t like telling folks everything in the first month

That's understandable fam.

In my first relationship I almost lost my girl because I was super closed off and she had trust issues so it was just two negatives. But we figured that shit out.

 

[mryounggun]

Y'all do know communication is critical in healthy relationships right?

Yep. Literally cannot think oof anything more important.

 

[mryounggun]

exactly what it says. I’mprivate about things and don’t like opening up unless I feel I can trust you that can cause issues

That's not what I think about when I think about someone trying to 'figure you out'. When I hear that, I look on it as a positive. Like your partner tryna figure out what makes you tick, what you like, what you don't, what your triggers are, how to avoid them and work around them, how you like to dealt with when you're going through shit, etc.

I don't see how any relationship can be successful without that.

But from you comment, you're looking at 'figure you out' from a different angle.

 

[JUDAH]

This is an interesting thread.

Just for clarification, when yall saying certain women expect something from you that they not willing to reciprocate, can yall give some examples?

 

[AP2.5]

This is an interesting thread.

Just for clarification, when yall saying certain women expect something from you that they not willing to reciprocate, can yall give some examples?

This one doesn't apply to me but there are women who feel the ground they walk on should be cherished solely for the fact they have a vagina and not because she does the same to her partner

 

[JUDAH]

This one doesn't apply to me but there are women who feel the ground they walk on should be cherished solely for the fact they have a vagina and not because she does the same to her partner

That's a major character flaw. Never personally experienced it though. I feel like someone like that's true colors would show fairly quickly.

 

[AP2.5]

That's a major character flaw. Never personally experienced it though. I feel like someone like that's true colors would show fairly quickly.

Hence the thread lol

But I'll give a more mild example. Females for the most part are always comparing their relationships to their friends relationships.

Ok, so yo homegirl finally got married but you don't know if that shit was for show or how they get down when the camera not snapping pics. Could be getting dogged out every which way to Sunday but at least she married right?

Every relationship should be based on it's own merit. So yo man don't deliver flowers to yo job like yo homegirl s/o but what about the other shit he does to show his appreciation and your validation in the relationship? But none of that matters because he didn't send flowers to your job?

Get to know your mate and adjust your expectations accordingly. Nigga take your car to get gassed up, washed, detailed, but you on his case about some fucking flowers he don't send to your job because yo homegirl told you her s/o did but what she didn't tell you was he only did that shit to get back in her good graces after he fucked up

 

[Eartha Clit]

Get to know your mate and adjust your expectations accordingly. Nigga take your car to get gassed up, washed, detailed, but you on his case about some fucking flowers he don't send to your job because yo homegirl told you her s/o did but what she didn't tell you was he only did that shit to get back in her good graces after he fucked up

This shit. People need to quit looking on the outside to determine if their relationship is solid. It’s people out here legit unhappy but doing shit because they just settled.

 

[Fightbackmode2005]

im trying to get back into therapy b

i dont think you can do it alone

but you spoke what i go through like verbatim. On one hand, im glad im not the only one, but at the same time, im like damn, should i be feeling this way in the first place?

Same here bro. If you are asking for more from me than I am from you, that irks me and I feel like I am being taken advantage of.

I think that is a normal human behavior.

 

[Fightbackmode2005]

To the OP, great thread.

 

[AP2.5]

To the OP, great thread.

He not here no more b lol

Thank @Rubato for the random but much appreciated bump lol

 

[JUDAH]

Hence the thread lol

But I'll give a more mild example. Females for the most part are always comparing their relationships to their friends relationships.

Ok, so yo homegirl finally got married but you don't know if that shit was for show or how they get down when the camera not snapping pics. Could be getting dogged out every which way to Sunday but at least she married right?

Every relationship should be based on it's own merit. So yo man don't deliver flowers to yo job like yo homegirl s/o but what about the other shit he does to show his appreciation and your validation in the relationship? But none of that matters because he didn't send flowers to your job?

Get to know your mate and adjust your expectations accordingly. Nigga take your car to get gassed up, washed, detailed, but you on his case about some fucking flowers he don't send to your job because yo homegirl told you her s/o did but what she didn't tell you was he only did that shit to get back in her good graces after he fucked up

It's all about the optics for some. IMO people just need to be honest with themselves about what the do and don't want out of a realtionship.

In all honesty, from every conversation I've had with friends/family about relationship issues, it's all rooted in selfishness of some kind.

IMO, once people get over themselves, it all becomes so much easier. That can be easier said than done, but if you are with someone that you are on the same page with, it's possible.

 

[Rubato]

He not here no more b lol

Thank @Rubato for the random but much appreciated bump lol

I was gonna make the thread but searched first to see if it had been made

 

[AP2.5]

I was gonna make the thread but searched first to see if it had been made

Legends do legendary shit

 

[ChicagoFigure]

Still tryna come up w something ?

 

[JohnSmithCAN]

I'm with you fellas. I kinda touched on it in the birthday thread.
Ladies expect the world and and rarely match that energy.

I think the only way to be on with it is to truly do things from the heart and not expect shit back. [...]

Why not simply giving them the payback for the way they try fooling us?

None of these deep sentimental attachments and all of that zeitgeisty soap opera love fantasy. Plato and Aristotle were right about philia. Not that much about the rest, though.

 

[JohnSmithCAN]

Im gonna exit tho. This looks like barbershop talk. I got locs.

Every barber shop has that one cool female barber who be up in the mix with everybody else. I mean, she's usually a raging lesbian, but whatever. Stay around a while and kick your feet up.

Definitively an American thing.

In my hometown, all black barbers hates me at the first sight. They all tried to screw my hair and money and O even get badly welcomed at a barbershop I'd just visited for the time without doing nothing but breath.

Only the North Africans touch my hair now.

 

[JohnSmithCAN]

Yall dont have character flaws, yall are just coming to terms with the fact that the type of partner that you want. Is not the type of partner you've been programmed to believe is the most desirable or compatible partner.

Men, women like you exist, and women, of course, men like you exist. The older we get, the more our comfort in relationships take a more prominent role in what we want.

It's not longer shes annoying but shes bad so I'll over look it. Or, shes annoying but the sex is great, so I'll over look it and get what I want from another female. You dont have a character flaw, you have character.

Accept who you are and stop thinking theres something wrong with you, programming has all of us believing we have to be a certain type of way to be "normal". Theres no such thing as normal, and the most normal people you meet, are the closest to the most insane.

You've just uttered ad verbatim my thoughts about this topic.