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How long is long enough to forgive an ex and try again?

B_A said:
Imo if you don't look at her with animosity in your heart/mind but merely lack the desire to interact with her that is equal to forgiveness.

I don't believe forgiveness includes allowing the other person to say sorry. Everyone has their lot in life, and theirs is not being able to say their peace.
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Facts
 
I may have missed something but it sounds like dude didn’t even know she cheated? That means the relationship ended because of other reasons. If they can address those other reasons then it’s possible to reconcile imo.
 
AP21 said:
first....couldnt care less

second...20 years ago, i was 15 years old. What i look like having a grudge against a chick who was one year younger than me? c'mon

now, let me clarify, i'm not advocating that a woman who was beaten by an ex just forgives dude and life is all peachy

but there are some things that are so trivial in the grand scheme of things that its best to chalk it up to relationship immaturity and keep it moving
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THIS!!! Thank you @AP21
 
semi-auto-mato said:
I may have missed something but it sounds like dude didn’t even know she cheated? That means the relationship ended because of other reasons. If they can address those other reasons then it’s possible to reconcile imo.
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The streets was talking back then. She had been seen out and about with extra niggas and the word got back to the homie. He just didn't act on it, and really didn't believe it.
 
Ok gotcha. Well it’s very possible dude just love her. My wife and I always say we are each other’s one. She might be his one and hopefully after 20 years she realizes he is her one
 
Always forward, never backwards.


I'll never get back with an ex, but I don't have any ill will towards any of my exes.
 
Fuck that shit. Clearly she's realized it's slim pickins out here and going for a hail mary.

Theres a chance she has matured and is truly sorry, but sometimes in life you don't get a do over. He need to tell her hass to push on.
 
konceptjones said:
I recently caught up with one of my boys from all the way back in middle school. Me and P was tight, used to roll up to the titty bars and spit game at the hoes back inna day, tried to start a record label in the early 90's and all that and we kept up and kicked it all the way up to me leaving AZ for NV back in 2011, then we lost touch.

Dude had gotten married back in '97 and shit seemed sweet. I met the wife when they announced their engagement and all that there. She seemed like a good woman from the times I interacted with her and all that. They got married and shit was lovely for a while, at least that's what he told me. Fast forward to 2001. They've been on the outs, he's frustrated 'cause shit ain't working out plus he's been hearing around the way that she might have a lunch nigga or two. They arguing and all that and finally one day my boy comes home from work and their house is cleared the fuck out. She left his clothes and shoes, a folding chair, his foot locker, and a small ass TV in the crib. Bitch even took the food out the kitchen. They got a divorce and she refused to speak to him directly, only through her lawyer like some shit you see in a movie. He's a good dude, tried hard in the marriage and all that and despite his effort she still bailed on him.

Fast forward to now. We spoke the other day and he told me that about a month ago he ran into his ex out at the mall. He hadn't seen her since the divorce so it kinda fucked him up. He said she tried to hug him but he took a step back and he said right there on the spot she apologized to him for doing him dirty all those years ago, then asked if he would be willing to talk to her over coffee or dinner. They went out to dinner and she started off apologizing again, told him he did nothing really wrong and it was all her immaturity that caused issues. He said she admitted to cheating on him with a nigga she worked with and cried while she was talking 'cause she swore she felt bad about it all.

P, being the dude that he is, forgave her and told her that the shit was damned 20 years ago so he can let it all go. He told me that they've been talking a lot and have gone out a few times for coffee just catching up and once to the movies. He's saying they're vibing just like they did when they first met, except now they're in their mid-40's with careers and all that.

I told dude to pump his brakes on this shit. Like, I know the shit was a long ass time ago, and you want to believe that she's changed and all, but I'd be skeptical as fuck when it comes to bringing someone that fucked me over that badly back into my life. I told him he needs to keep her at arms length, if y'all just wanna be cordial and shit that's cool and all, but if it was me I wouldn't be too quick to fuck with a broad that fucked me over even if that shit was 20 years ago. He's tellin me he's feelin her out to see where her head is at and if it seems like she's still that same old broad that left him in an empty house, he's leaving her alone for good.

What say y'all? How long is long enough to forgive an ex for their misdeeds towards you to the point where you would consider another go at a relationship?
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That's a tough one.


I mean, you can forgive someone and let bygones be bygones...........but not to the point of rekindling the relationship.


At least not in the situation that you described.



Based on the story, I don't think she matured at all.



I'm thinking she left him because she thought she had a future with the work/lunch nigga.........things didn't work out as planned.........and she got humbled.



Highly doubt she would've been so apologetic if things with the lunch nigga had worked out the way she wanted.



Probably wouldn't have given your boy a second thought.
 
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guess i'll be the one, but how many serious relationships have you had Deadeye?
 
deadeye said:
Define "serious"
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