What year was the hardest for your marriage? Will you or have you seeked counseling before? Are you open to renewing your vows at any point?
I heard the first year or so is the toughest.11yrs
had a few hick ups
Can’t really narrow down to a year but times where hard because of immaturity.
counseling didn’t work because the perspective can always be flipped to escape accountability.
we thought about renewing at our tenth .....woke up that morning. Told each other “you better not go no mf where” “ and “ I’m not getting married again” laughed and decided against it.
All 4Which time?
CoolCouple yrs
Couple months
Few yrs
Few months
Shit 50% of our issues came from communication.Married 15 years. We met in middle school, fucked around in high school, fucked around again in college, then got together for good right at the end of college.
We actually in counseling now. Not for anything major, just because when we get upset with each other we hold grudges. Our communication and understanding of one another was lacking. A lot of that has to do with some hard times in our past we never really dealt with or got over.
I'd highly recommend counseling if you're married, even if you don't have major hang ups. It's liberating to get an objective third party to weigh in on shit and break down some of those walls we put up. Ours is a black woman and I'd recommend a black woman. She can relate to things in the black experience and her being a woman makes it that much more comfortable for my wife.
Fighting fair is a motherf’er10 years on October 1st.
The roughest years were 2016-2018.
2013 was when we got into some shit with parents and oldest brother that resulted in us being estranged for 4 years. We're more than good now and I can tell that a lot respect has been earned.
My brother and I are still repairing our relationship (we reconciled on our mother's birthday iirc) but honestly, it won't be the same.
We've done counseling before but that was early into our marriage and the counseling helped us realize that we were still learning how to communicate with one another. I myself had to learn how to fight fair.
Never thought arguing with facts was not fighting fair, lol. Guess it comes off as condescending, .Fighting fair is a motherf’er