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Even in a marriage, is there such a thing as "alone time?"

Mister B.

Mister B.

The Devil’s Greatest Advocate…..
I know that once people enter into a marriage, it's normally implied that your pain becomes their pain and vice-versa.

However, can there be points in your relationship/marriage where someone wishes to deal with someone ALONE?

Is that a violation?
 
Alone time in any relationship, not just marriage, is neccessary for sanity. You can share pain and struggles but you also need time for self to deal with things in your own manor. I've been married 16 years and each year my wife and I take separate trips with our friends as "our time."
 
Smokeejo404 said:
Alone time in any relationship, not just marriage, is neccessary for sanity. You can share pain and struggles but you also need time for self to deal with things in your own manor. I've been married 16 years and each year my wife and I take separate trips with our friends as "our time."
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if this is whats meant in the OP...

alone time should be encouraged.
just because we are married i can not be her everything.....she needs to have thinking time, girl time and whatever time.
stopping your mate from having alone time can hurt you in the long run
 
If you mean conceptually...yes...you should always have your alone time.


If you're asking if it happens...it don't think it happens as much as it should. Especially with phones...social media...and this constant expectation for rapid response. If I'm busy or don't want to be bothered I'm expected to send you a message to let you know....which defeats the purpose of being too busy/not wanting to be bothered.


Today...you can be in a different country than the person you're dating, and they can still smother you
 
My alone time used to be my commute to and from work. That was a minimum of 2hrs a day all to myself, but typically 3hrs, especially when we were in metro Phoenix. Even better if it was on the bus 'cause then I wasn't driving and could do more (i.e. the few tracks I produced that were released were all crafted on the freight and mixed at the crib).
 
My girl be tripping on this. She thinks alone time is some evil word. We should be stuck together at all times
 
mrtbd_ said:
If you mean conceptually...yes...you should always have your alone time.


If you're asking if it happens...it don't think it happens as much as it should. Especially with phones...social media...and this constant expectation for rapid response. If I'm busy or don't want to be bothered I'm expected to send you a message to let you know....which defeats the purpose of being too busy/not wanting to be bothered.


Today...you can be in a different country than the person you're dating, and they can still smother you
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Alone time should always be supported, however, communication should still be the utmost priority. If you are in a relationship, avoiding them is not the ideal way of dealing with whatever it is you are dealing with. Avoiding and closing off communication only increases anxiety and tension between the couple.
 
Unfinished_Sentenc said:
Alone time should always be supported, however, communication should still be the utmost priority. If you are in a relationship, avoiding them is not the ideal way of dealing with whatever it is you are dealing with. Avoiding and closing off communication only increases anxiety and tension between the couple.
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I think a lot of people make the mistake of thinking because someone needs time alone/doesn't want to talk they're avoiding someone. Ppl tend to view communication from a very vanilla lens.


Different people have different personalities and different ways to handling things. Some people need space to reflect, calm down, take a second to think about things from a different point of view. If a person is like that you'd actually be doing more damage to the relationship by trying to get them to talk on your terms instead of compromising. Sometimes the other person doesn't suck at communicating....they just don't communicate the way you would prefer
 
mrtbd_ said:
I think a lot of people make the mistake of thinking because someone needs time alone/doesn't want to talk they're avoiding someone. Ppl tend to view communication from a very vanilla lens.


Different people have different personalities and different ways to handling things. Some people need space to reflect, calm down, take a second to think about things from a different point of view. If a person is like that you'd actually be doing more damage to the relationship by trying to get them to talk on your terms instead of compromising. Sometimes the other person doesn't suck at communicating....they just don't communicate the way you would prefer
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So if someone you are in a relationship with and talk to everyday all of a sudden stop answering your phones calls and refused to call you back for a few days for the sake of alone time... you're telling me that you wouldn't be pissed off by that?

All I'm saying is that communication doesn't have to be a drawn out conversation. Just let me know what you need up front and I will oblige. Just say something so I won't be worried or thinking the worst. Something like, "Hey, I don't want you to worry but I need some time to myself for...however long." And after that, I will respect that and give you your space. But it's never cool to leave someone hanging. No matter what your personality type is...it's all about respect.
 
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