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Dealing with Depression......

Man i literally just had one of the worst nights of my life

Like deadass the worst

I hope that my kids go back to school soon so that I can break this mask, if even for a few hours
burh...


real shit.

i been there..

take a shower and quietly let that shit out.

dont mean shit if you do it. its a release of pressure.

drop the kids off at someones house for a day and take a drive to the coutryside ....get out your car.


walk for a bit and when you think you are alone....yell at the top of your lungs until you are dizzy.....let that shit out otherwise it will eat you up.
 
I ain’t no doctor but letting that shit out is WAYYYYY better than keeping it in.

I’ve cried in the shower. I went to the park and punched a tree. That shit hurt like a mf too.
 
I’ve had experience with two clinically depressed people and man did I go out of my way to bring happiness to them. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn’t.

I listened every single time and I was always there. They both told me they appreciated me for it. Which in turn helped me.
thanks for people like you.

i hated when i tried to talk to people an they were like you just talked about that or why you keep bringing that shit up.

just let it go i was told..

some shit just aint that simple. some shit...you dont say to a parent.

while i already had a side of me that would be the sounding board for anyone.....my own situation gave me more patience with things and people i dont understand.

i dont need to understand. i now know i just need to listen.

and its sad that I only ever told my mother all the shit i been thru...my wife doesnt even know all the facts
 
I deadass dropped tears *didnt cry* like 3x since Xmas

I damn near broke down today at the mechanic.
 
I deadass dropped tears *didnt cry* like 3x since Xmas

I damn near broke down today at the mechanic.
bruh...i get it. trust me i do.

man im afraid of heights...but i was so messed up once...to hide my tears on a flight...i looked out the window and the height didnt bother me.

i questioned everyones intentions...i didnt trust no one ...not even myself.

every word i heard i took it as a strike against me.

i was in that place for almost three years and had to relive it over and over again every week because something new would pop up to start it over again.

i know where you at..

i also used a forum to escape my reality. something to distract me.

just make sure you understand fully what you are dealing with and the consequences of any action you make.
 
thanks for people like you.

i hated when i tried to talk to people an they were like you just talked about that or why you keep bringing that shit up.

just let it go i was told..

some shit just aint that simple. some shit...you dont say to a parent.

while i already had a side of me that would be the sounding board for anyone.....my own situation gave me more patience with things and people i dont understand.

i dont need to understand. i now know i just need to listen.

and its sad that I only ever told my mother all the shit i been thru...my wife doesnt even know all the facts

I can’t stand when people do that shit to me. Depressed or not. So I will never do that shit to anyone.


Some people lack understanding and even though I may never experience what half the people in the world experience, I could at least put myself in a position to understand.
 
Me. I dont know why, as i dont recall any very traumatic experiences, but maybe some things effected me more than i thought it did. I've noticed it since I was a kid. Growing up my mom would get frustrated as fuck saying shit like "Why don't you ever express emotion?!" and stuff like that. When i was 11 we found my certificate of indian blood and my mom registered me for the native hospital we have up here and started scheduling me appointments with Behavorial Health. Had me in little counseling sessions twice a week for about 6 weeks or so. After 4 weeks the doctor recommended medication, took it for a couple weeks, but stopped once my 6 weeks with the doc was up.

When i was growing up, i wasnt the most social of kids, but I was a lot more social than i am now. I had a lot of friends and would be away from the house all the time hanging out with them. I was never an Emo kid and you wouldnt be able to look at me and think "that kids depressed" but if i wasnt around anyone, i was locked up in my room.

Never really learned how to cope with it. Started smoking weed at 12, smoked everyday at 14 and getting high was basically all i did. Life wasnt bad, but I would do anything to escape it. Started doing more and more drugs, drinking and partying. By 21 I had a 80 dollar a day habit. Did that till 26. Got to my lowest point. Got health insurance through my job and checked myself into rehab. Did inpatient for a week until withdrawals were over. Got out, first thing i did was get high. Was in Outpatient rehab with medication assistance for 2 years. The days got repetitive as fuck and it was expensive as hell so I stopped going. Isolated for a long time. Noticed the depression more than i ever have, figured it was because of the medication im on, took 3 weeks off of work to withdrawal off my meds. 4 Days into it, finally was well enough to drive. Went home, had a panic attack, went and got high. Binged for 2 weeks, called my doc a couple days before i had to go back to work, got induced on the medication again, and now its like 8 months later and im just going through the motions. All my friends growing up either distanced themselves from me or i distanced myself from them. others moved away to restart their lives. Others have families to take care of and dont have much of a social life.

Still dont know how to get over it, but I've learned shit through rehab that kind of helps. Things can be going really well for me, but i constantly have that voice in my head downing myself or a random ass thought will pop up about something in the past that was an embarassing moment or a scary time in life and the anxiety kicks in then changing to negative self talk leading to more isolation.

I've made huge changes in my life. Accomplished things a lot of people in my situation havent, but i still cant learn to be proud of what i've done. Since my first attempt to get off my meds, ive made even more changes. Started going to the gym which has been a tremendous help, and im currently building up the PTO to try getting off the meds again. The meds im on block my serotonin and dopamine receptors in my brain, so if i were to try and get high, i wouldnt feel that rush of happiness. The negative of that, is I dont feel hardly anything at all, I dont get rushes of excitement or anything.

Everyday is an never ending argument inside my head, but I just hope for the best and try focusing on the good things that happened through the day and keep pushing. Im hoping to get off my meds before summer hits and it should be very doable. I really need to move out of here though and change my scenery, but I'm hoping my vacation in July helps out with that.
 
Damn, props to everybody who dropped their story and ways to overcome depression. Everybody on earth is dealing with some type of mental illness, so there's definitely nothing to be ashamed about, speaking on it and being honest about it is the realest shit you can do.

With that said, it depends on what it is that's making you feel depressed on how you go about handling it.


I been peeped that @ChiCity wasn't acting like himself since about Friday. The nigga took down his avi pic and aint been the same since. Was actually just about to write homie. I'm very observant so I pick up on things quickly, I've written a few of yall before when I noticed similar things.

If you need someone to talk to, Im here fam @ChiCity

Same for the rest of yall too. If any of yall needs to vent , yall can always holla at me.
 
After rereading this thread, my spirit has been moved. I never deny my spirit from doing something it wants to do.

I don’t pray, I do wish well. I do also hope for the better. With that being said, I hope that those of you battling with depression soon find your way out. I also hope those (including myself) who have been there and don’t wanna go back, start noticing the signs and create positivity immediately. If my ghetto ass gotta say or do something to be that positive thing you need on the daily, I’m down for the challenge.

My mama always told me to be a blessing to someone and blessings will return. Never cared for the latter because making a person smile or a tad bit happy was always enough for me.

I’m here if any of y’all need someone to listen to you. I mean that shit.
 
Aye, people be saying I post shit for my own attention at times. And I be telling niggaz, ion post for my own attention. I post to make my self and niggaz laugh, feel good, and feel positive.
 
Aye, people be saying I post shit for my own attention at times. And I be telling niggaz, ion post for my own attention. I post to make my self and niggaz laugh, feel good, and feel positive.
and i used to post positive motivating things.

trynna get my people to get out here and get money.
 
I told @King Du @MissK @Reesey and @AP21 about my situation. Not gonna lie I was fucked up over it but had to let go of the pain. If not shit would've been all bad.

Life gives you obstacles to deal with. We all get raw deals sometimes but that's how it goes and its up to you either fight or fold. Fuck folding that's not an option or luxury I am willing to do.
well stop ducking me when i come thru.....we can talk about it after i beat that ass in golf.

imma be there end of january
 
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