Race Jones
gangster. grace. alchemy
I wrote an essay about conspiracy theories. I just had to get it off my chest and off my heart.
I understand why ppl buy into conspiracy theories. when someone we love passes, sometimes in the most tragic of ways, we as humans try to self soothe by blaming it on the faceless boogie man, the invisible spy manning life’s watch tower, this quick draw mcgraw slight of hand.
Honestly, who am I tell Black ppl that have been robbed of so many things, gaslighted for centuries, that there isnt this unforeseen force constantly plotting to haul us off. I mean we’ve seen it so many times right? from the Tuskegee study, mustard gas experiments on AA troops in WWII, lead in our housing projects, poison in our water. We watched the government dismantle the Black panther party, targeted assassinations on our leaders. I recently read a Black man sat in prison for 36 years over a stolen jacket he didnt take. Funny, it was right under the article I was reading about Khalif Browder dying over a bookbag he never stole.
I believed my uncle when he said “the government planted crack in our neighborhoods ya know?” generations and generations of Black folxs gone. I believed my student when he told me sometimes he doesnt feel safe because police have a propensity to stop him and his friends downtown, them and only them. I cried over the stories my sister told of her agonizing hospital stays, how she never really felt seen or heard simply because shes Black and woman. Theres ppl in New Orleans right now that will tell you they heard bombs when the levees broke during hurricane katrina in ‘05, they say they sound like the same ones from 1927 that flooded the St. Bernard and Plaquemines parishes, destroying Black neighborhoods. Im still wondering how Chavis Carter managed to shoot himself when he was handcuffed in the back of a police car. Baltimore police say Freddie broke his own neck so I guess I’ll never know.
If any race of ppl deserve to question the death of its superheroes it is us. we have every right to dig deeper, examine harder and challenge the narrative.
With Kobe and GiGi leaving us so quickly and 7 others in a blink of an eye. I too am trying to make sense of such an unspeakable tragedy. I find myself left with so many questions: “how can a man bigger than life die in such a diminutive way?” “why didnt they drive?” “why wasn’t the plane grounded?” “how did the pilot not know?”
Then I realize I take the same train everyday. some days my commute is riddled with delays, bad weather and equipment issues but I never plan on not making it back home. So I guess it would be safe to assume a man that took that route as frequently as kobe did, expected the same.
I remember my friend once said “ris sometimes there is no rhyme or reason for some of life’s complexities” and you know what? hes right. sometimes death comes like water, gently dragging you away from the shore. sometimes death comes like rain forming puddles in your collarbones, sometimes death is as quiet as a church mouse, as smooth as brown liquor.
and sadly, sometimes...sometimes people just die, No grand conspiracy, no “ah ha” moment, they just go. they never make it back from the papi store, never make it into work, never get another chance to pick their children up from school, never get to rush in before the streets lights come on, or suit up for an afternoon game.
What ive learned as of late is make the most of your days. Be kind, Be compassionate, transform someones life, even if its your own.
may the best of your yesterdays be the worst of your tomorrows. #MAMBAOUT
I understand why ppl buy into conspiracy theories. when someone we love passes, sometimes in the most tragic of ways, we as humans try to self soothe by blaming it on the faceless boogie man, the invisible spy manning life’s watch tower, this quick draw mcgraw slight of hand.
Honestly, who am I tell Black ppl that have been robbed of so many things, gaslighted for centuries, that there isnt this unforeseen force constantly plotting to haul us off. I mean we’ve seen it so many times right? from the Tuskegee study, mustard gas experiments on AA troops in WWII, lead in our housing projects, poison in our water. We watched the government dismantle the Black panther party, targeted assassinations on our leaders. I recently read a Black man sat in prison for 36 years over a stolen jacket he didnt take. Funny, it was right under the article I was reading about Khalif Browder dying over a bookbag he never stole.
I believed my uncle when he said “the government planted crack in our neighborhoods ya know?” generations and generations of Black folxs gone. I believed my student when he told me sometimes he doesnt feel safe because police have a propensity to stop him and his friends downtown, them and only them. I cried over the stories my sister told of her agonizing hospital stays, how she never really felt seen or heard simply because shes Black and woman. Theres ppl in New Orleans right now that will tell you they heard bombs when the levees broke during hurricane katrina in ‘05, they say they sound like the same ones from 1927 that flooded the St. Bernard and Plaquemines parishes, destroying Black neighborhoods. Im still wondering how Chavis Carter managed to shoot himself when he was handcuffed in the back of a police car. Baltimore police say Freddie broke his own neck so I guess I’ll never know.
If any race of ppl deserve to question the death of its superheroes it is us. we have every right to dig deeper, examine harder and challenge the narrative.
With Kobe and GiGi leaving us so quickly and 7 others in a blink of an eye. I too am trying to make sense of such an unspeakable tragedy. I find myself left with so many questions: “how can a man bigger than life die in such a diminutive way?” “why didnt they drive?” “why wasn’t the plane grounded?” “how did the pilot not know?”
Then I realize I take the same train everyday. some days my commute is riddled with delays, bad weather and equipment issues but I never plan on not making it back home. So I guess it would be safe to assume a man that took that route as frequently as kobe did, expected the same.
I remember my friend once said “ris sometimes there is no rhyme or reason for some of life’s complexities” and you know what? hes right. sometimes death comes like water, gently dragging you away from the shore. sometimes death comes like rain forming puddles in your collarbones, sometimes death is as quiet as a church mouse, as smooth as brown liquor.
and sadly, sometimes...sometimes people just die, No grand conspiracy, no “ah ha” moment, they just go. they never make it back from the papi store, never make it into work, never get another chance to pick their children up from school, never get to rush in before the streets lights come on, or suit up for an afternoon game.
What ive learned as of late is make the most of your days. Be kind, Be compassionate, transform someones life, even if its your own.
may the best of your yesterdays be the worst of your tomorrows. #MAMBAOUT
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