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5 Love Languages

MissK

I was Not here
There is a book out there called the Five Love Languages and basically it states that most people have a primary and secondary love language. The author states that "people tend to give love in the way that they prefer to receive love". He also states that since we don't all have the same preferences, not understanding your partner's love language can cause problems in a relationship. So my question is first do you believe in the different languages and if you do what is yours? (note: the author does have a PhD)

I do think there is some merit in them and I would say mine is words of affirmation

1. Words of affirmation
According to Dr. Chapman, this language uses words to affirm other people. For those who prefer the words of affirmation language, hearing "I love you" and other compliments are what they value the most. Words hold real value within this language. Furthermore, negative or insulting comments cut deep — and won't be easily forgiven.

2. Quality time
This language is all about giving the other person your undivided attention. Unlike the words of affirmation language, talk is cheap and being a loved one's main focus leaves quality timers feeling satisfied and comforted. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful to these individuals. Being there for them is crucial.

3. Receiving gifts
Dr. Chapman says for some people, what makes them feel most loved is to receive a tangible gift. This doesn't necessarily mean the person is materialistic, but a meaningful or thoughtful present it was makes them feel appreciated.

4. Acts of service
For these people, actions speak louder than words. People who speak the language of service want their partner to recognize that their life is rough and help them out in any way possible. Lending a helping hand shows you really care. People who thrive on this language do not deal well with broken promises — or perceived laziness — and have very little tolerance for people who make more work for them. Basically, if you're not willing to show your appreciation by doing them a favor, you're saying you don't value them.

5. Physical touch
To this person, nothing speaks more deeply than appropriate touch. That doesn't mean only in the bedroom — everyday physical connections, like handholding, kissing, or any type of re-affirming physical contact is greatly appreciated. A person who speaks the language of physical touch isn't necessarily an over-the-top PDAer, but getting a little touchy-feely does make them feel safe and loved. Any instance of physical abuse is a total deal breaker.


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https://s3.amazonaws.com/moody-prof...tachment/5/5LLPersonalProfile_COUPLES__1_.pdf
 
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You have to atleast try to be all 5, some people naturally have it and some people have to learn it.
 
Being in a relationship don't you have to be all 5 for it to succeed

I think it is more important to understand the languages and compromise. Example in my experience some guys they really didnt need to be told I love you or some other form of expression to feel comfortable but for me that is very important. Same time it really doesnt make any difference to me if you are giving me gifts-not a bad thing but not necessary like it is for some. I think adapting to their preferred language is needed to succeed. We don't all give/receive love in the same ways.
 
no...everyone has a primary and a secondary language

its impossible to be all five. YOu may exhibit certain ones at times, but you still have a primary language and a secondary language
 
I'm not saying you need to be that 24/7 but all 5 is needed at points throughout the relationship
 
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I'm not saying you need to be that 24/7 but all 5 is needed at points throughout the relationship

i dont think you understand the purpose of acknowledging the list

you have a certain way you like to be dealt with, sure you might like a gift or two here and there, but it may mean more to you that your wife touches you when ya'll watching tv vs a gift she got you.

put it like this, if your primary and secondary languages are being fulfilled, the other stuff is just icing on the cake, but you would be fine if those things didnt happen or didnt happen as frequent as your primary and secondary languages
 
no...everyone has a primary and a secondary language

its impossible to be all five. YOu may exhibit certain ones at times, but you still have a primary language and a secondary language

Nah, I guess I'm Neo in the matrix. I naturally do and want all 5 and I don't view one as being better than the other. Touch is just as necessary as quality time, etc.
 
Nah, I guess I'm Neo in the matrix. I naturally do and want all 5 and I don't view one as being better than the other. Touch is just as necessary as quality time, etc.

sighs

you wanna do this on a friday? really goldie?? lol

i was just gon watch the flash today, but you want me to compute huh?
 
I gotta run to the store, create an argument that I can kill when I get back b
 
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