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Check da mail this morning, got a card from my mothers mother. Said happy fathers day, I hit her in a text said, I appreciate that you thought of me during ur day.

Go on Instagram...shes on my cuz Instagram..its her birthday ...didnt even know it

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I'm so charming
 
Let me tell y'all about my stupid ass

Since my mom retired she spends her time between Houston and ATL, where my sister lives.
She needs her vehicle so I volunteer to drive it down to her and fly back. Because im an amazing son.

Well I don't like being in cousin fucking Mississippi or Alabama without that thang on me, especially in the middle of the night. So I bring my shit with me.

I drive the 12hrs though the night after working and on an hour nap. Arrive at my sister's house dead ass tired after being up almost 30 hours.
As soon as my head hit the pillow something in my brain said "how you gonna get that pistol on the plane!"

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So I had to drag my zombie brain add to 3 different stores looking for a hard case, a lock, and a cable lock.

What a fucking shit head I am.
 
My dog took a shit in his cage then went into hiding lol couldn’t find him nowhere this morning
He knows you know he did it. I have 3 and if I find a shit they all look at me like "HA HA you dont know who done it" and I cant very well punish them all.... lol fuckers...
 
He knows you know he did it. I have 3 and if I find a shit they all look at me like "HA HA you dont know who done it" and I cant very well punish them all.... lol fuckers...
I usually go off on him when he does so now as soon as he messes up he goes into hiding
 
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