Welcome To aBlackWeb

You are what you eat?

1/2

Dont drank out my drank, foo
Eat meaning "figuratively ingest" in this scenario.

Do you think friends, social media, entertainment etc can have negative effects on relationships and/or how you view things?

For instance, a man is married but listens to mostly misogynistic music about cheating or otherwise living a single lifestyle. Or has a lot of single friends that talk about their lifestyles all the time.

A woman is dating but watches all the housewife shows and follows marriage groups on social media and such.

I know some can separate entertainment from reality, or other people's lives from theirs, and that isnt what this is about.

Aside from that, is there the possibility of being fed too much of the wrong vibe?

Shit dont matter?

Healthy balance?

I'll get into why im asking this later.
 
Yes everything can have a negative effect to a certain degree. We are always being influenced by our environment if even subconsciously.

U can still like what u like but i think a healthy balance is necessary.
 
They got a PSA on Cartoon Network telling kids to basically unplug from social media because it's distorting their perception of reality.

People immerse themselves in the false reality that social media presents and try to make that shit real. They go into debt trying to floss like the people on IG. Nobody is faithful 'cause social media tells them everybody cheatin'. They experiment with drugs 'cause rappers and social media said lean, molly, etc is the shit and that everybody is on it. Marriages falling apart 'cause niggas got side chicks and women got side niggas 'cause songs, tv shows, and social media said everybody doin it.

When all you see is what appears to be reality, you believe that it is reality, and you make it your reality regardless of what it is unless you have a strong enough will to see through the bullshit and cut through it to go a different way. Sadly, it seems the majority of people ingesting this stuff can't do that so we're left with millions of people living in a fucked up version of reality.
 
In regards to married folks hanging out with single folks, and doing single folk shyt...I always asked "Why get married?"

Obviously its b/c folks like having that "secure" foundation at home, but want to enjoy the benefits single life provides. And there's nothing wrong wit having those thoughts. We're human. The issue occurs when you give in to the influence and act on them.

Yes...friends can DEFINITELY have a negative influence on you and your relationship. Especially if they see things are going well, and their situation isn't. The old saying "misery loves company" holds true. I've witnessed this 1st hand.
 
It depends on the person.

I honestly hate always feeling like the exception..... But you just gotta be confident in who you are.

I can hang with single niggaz and not be on any bullshit....

I listen to all types of negative music but I don't feel it effects my relationship....

I mean I can see how many people are open to suggestion.... But I truly believe to be that open to suggestion, there has to be a desire to do whatever it is as well....
 
my bad ya'll i forgot about this shit

@Duwop the stand up guy as usual

but anyway in light of my recent hiatus from porn and all the model pages and everything, im starting to see ALL the other glaring issues that support the same fucked up habits and way of thinking.....for me anyway

I dont have any married friends....the ones that have some sort of steady gf are mostly still in the streets and its just not structured as your average relationship....when they hit me up randomly at 11pm they going out alone and aint worried about shit....and you know niggas love to show and tell everything in their phone

Music.....Hip-Hop/Rap specifically......I love this shit, its a part of my life, it partially raised me....but when im trying to fix my ways and stay in that married mindframe, where one is ALL you need and she's everything and I need her and respect her, etc....I cant help but notice how everything im listening to goes directly against that.....shit will literally change my mood or feelings sometimes and have me thinking that, as a man I need to be doing this and that to really be "successful" and "happy"....not good at all lol

social media.......its social media.......ass, titties, cheating, side dipping, flexing, repeat

anyway I was really going thru it the day I started this because some days it feels like I literally have to strip my entire life down and start over as a different person to be who and what I feel like I need to be in this marriage....and it pisses me off

im mad about everything leading up to this point....like how could I be so wrong for so long?......how is this whole life and culture a lie?

and how do you change all that at 31? I dont want new square ass friends, I dont wanna listen to Christian rap, I dont wanna have to live under a rock

I really need insight from married posters, or just those that walk a pretty straight and narrow path...but are still into the culture and the times and are able to separate it all


blazing_saddles_hostage.jpg


HEP MAY!
 
i think you have to be mentally strong to do you.

but i think alot of people need approval...so they walk the line of what will give them likes or allow them to be apart of the crowd.
 
like @Herbal Kint for instance

I read about his struggle and was around when he "disappeared".....then he came back renewed and religious and sober

and it hits me now like, how are you able to be here? and still be in the mix of all the same things but maintain that^

i understand the actual answers for me may not even be here its just discussion
 
like @Herbal Kint for instance

I read about his struggle and was around when he "disappeared".....then he came back renewed and religious and sober

and it hits me now like, how are you able to be here? and still be in the mix of all the same things but maintain that^

i understand the actual answers for me may not even be here its just discussion
everything comes back to your why.

those three letters will give you all you need and make you strong if asked the right way.
but are you strong enough to deal with the answers?
thats where alot of people mess up. they are afraid to answer themselves about the whys.
 
idk bruh.....im just tired

im sure its all a part of growth and marriage without all the specifics

never been at a wall this high tho
 
idk bruh.....im just tired

im sure its all a part of growth and marriage without all the specifics

never been at a wall this high tho
you gonna run into alot more walls.

sometimes you just need to relax and take a deep breath and plan it out.

you never know...this may be the last obstacle.....or it could be one of many.

but the way i see things....you are always prepared.....you just have to plan it out.

life is like ninja warrior.......shit looks hard...but with enough trial and error...you will get thru it if you understand your strengths and weaknesses and plan and play to what you know.

no one has it all figured out......that dont mean we cant help each other with where we been.
 
“Be ye transformed by the renenwing of your mind” Romans 12:2

My favorite scripture cause it reminds me that its all about mindset...

And also

You dont have to have square friends or stop listening to hip hop lol

You can still do all them things...just gotta set boundaries for yourself bruh.

I take hiatuses all the time.
 
“Be ye transformed by the renenwing of your mind” Romans 12:2

My favorite scripture cause it reminds me that its all about mindset...

And also

You dont have to have square friends or stop listening to hip hop lol

You can still do all them things...just gotta set boundaries for yourself bruh.

Intake hiatuses all the time.
this is very true.

i often go places where it not alot of people around so i can be one with myself. no phone no internet no nothing......
just myself and God.
 
only do what you want to do.

be lazy
be selfish
stop worrying about peoples feelings

like if you're a good person......and you know you are a good person....

you don't have to be a nice person....

infact fucking being nice...

nice people are't always good people, and good people aren't always nice people...remember that shit....

people will always value their convenience over your consideration..


just worry about yourself first and do what interests you and you'll see things being less and less stressful..

the only people in life you gotta bust your ass for is your family....the rest of the world can kiss your ass....
 
only do what you want to do.

be lazy
be selfish
stop worrying about peoples feelings

like if you're a good person......and you know you are a good person....

you don't have to be a nice person....

infact fucking being nice...

nice people are't always good people, and good people aren't always nice people...remember that shit....

people will always value their convenience over your consideration..


just worry about yourself first and do what interests you and you'll see things being less and less stressful..

the only people in life you gotta bust your ass for is your family....the rest of the world can kiss your ass....

TALK THAT SHIT DUPAC
 
Great dialogue here yall

@1/2 I think is a good testament to your spirit that you want to continue grow as a Husband, and tho its unsaid, as a father and a man

I agree with just about everything said and will tell you straight up, there's nothing wrong with a hard reset on what you 'digest' in ya body. Its easy to say get some will power and just be mentally tough but everyone don't have that in em. Just like everyone don't have the drive of a Puffy for example.

If you need to do full cleanse every few months and get away from rap and SM and porn and whatever, do so. Then ease back in to it until you feel like its affecting ya life and then cleanse again

My 2 cents b
 
Great dialogue here yall

@1/2 I think is a good testament to your spirit that you want to continue grow as a Husband, and tho its unsaid, as a father and a man

I agree with just about everything said and will tell you straight up, there's nothing wrong with a hard reset on what you 'digest' in ya body. Its easy to say get some will power and just be mentally tough but everyone don't have that in em. Just like everyone don't have the drive of a Puffy for example.

If you need to do full cleanse every few months and get away from rap and SM and porn and whatever, do so. Then ease back in to it until you feel like its affecting ya life and then cleanse again

My 2 cents b
i was about to say some slick shit......
but imma let you ride today
 
Back
Top