the way i interpret the question is do i seek out perspective from friends to the point where i make a move based on that perspective?
hmmm...i can say that I have. Like if you are married, you have your married friend or a friend that was previously married, and you have your single friend. While the single friend can offer a nice perspective, i wouldnt necessarily share anything with them b/c they cant speak on something they know nothing about. Thats not a slight at them, but there is really no perspective they can offer me when it comes to marital issues.
My married friend however, i feel like he will give me the raw and uncut perspective. Tell me where i was wrong, offer me a suggestion in how to move forward, especially if he has been married a lot longer than I have. Now, this is where it gets tricky, which is kinda the point i made in the Insecure thread about the value of real friends. If he really my friend, meaning he is going to hold me accountable, tell me where i went wrong, and offer me some perspective, he is going to view anything i may share about my s/o from a 3rd party, non biased pov. So if he sees my s/o if things are back to normal, he isn't going to treat her any different than he has previously, which is the mark of a true friend. I dont need a yes man to just tell me fdb and keep it moving.
I think everyone should have at least one person that holds them accountable. I have that friend. If he tells me, AP, I think you could've handled that better, i listen and dont catch feelings b/c im not looking for a pat on the back or some sort of validation.
my .02
