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The Main Problem In Relationships, When There Is A Problem

But I think what we get from one another is in grained in who we are a people. So it’s like a weird perfect match
 
U mean like they go on a few dates, have nothing in common then end up being in a relationship?
no, I mean they go on a few dates, like each other, then down the line when they get to know each other, issues become apparent and show that they're incompatible. but they just go through the motions and get more committed instead of calling it quits.
 
Happens all the time. The sex is good, the drugs and liquor are good.

Next thing you know, you seeing that person often and you don’t got time to date anything else. Then y’all have kids. Then the whole you should be married by this time, yada yada yada
having kids before you know you actively wanna be with them permanently? I don't say this often but that's some hoe shit. sorrynotsorry
 
This is why I tell my s/o to NOT put our business on FB...or even mention it.

I hate that. To some it looks like your throwin it in their faces. And like Azlyn said....misery loves company. So those folks will be lookin for anything to cause problems in your relationship.
 
Lack of communication...

You get comfortable and end up being roommates with a title...

I got a lot of opinions on this but this is what I got for relationships that ain’t based on settling...
i'm with you.....

outside influences don't really mean nuffin when u got full trust in someone and yall communicate well....

it can be a hindrance..... but i think all relationships fail cuz of a lack of communication..

once yall stop talking about shit, or feel you CAN'T talk about shit....the beginning of the end starts......


that's why even in subjects that i know are going to be painful to discuss, i just hop in with both feet, we gonna work through this shit, and keep it moving....i ain't gonna let shit rock us cuz we wasn't on the same page about some shit that can be resolved with a few uncomfortable but mature conversations...

so far, so good
 
i'm with you.....

outside influences don't really mean nuffin when u got full trust in someone and yall communicate well....

it can be a hindrance..... but i think all relationships fail cuz of a lack of communication..

once yall stop talking about shit, or feel you CAN'T talk about shit....the beginning of the end starts......


that's why even in subjects that i know are going to be painful to discuss, i just hop in with both feet, we gonna work through this shit, and keep it moving....i ain't gonna let shit rock us cuz we wasn't on the same page about some shit that can be resolved with a few uncomfortable but mature conversations...

so far, so good
word, but from a different POV. I'm fiercely private about my relationship - I am with most things, always have been. I've had all kindsa people nosy about my love life and other private shit. I don't suffer fools and it's only ever fared me well. So on the other side of the coin, when people talk about outside influences, I simply can't relate. outsiders will know what I allow them to know and nothing more.
 
word, but from a different POV. I'm fiercely private about my relationship - I am with most things, always have been. I've had all kindsa people nosy about my love life and other private shit. I don't suffer fools and it's only ever fared me well. So on the other side of the coin, when people talk about outside influences, I simply can't relate. outsiders will know what I allow them to know and nothing more.


Kinda this way to regarding being private.

Unfortunately...I've had outside influences "infect" the relationships I was in.

All b/c folks wanted to run their mouths on that he say/she say shyt. Couple of times I've been in situations where someone went back to my ex or my s/o, and fed them the wrong info and they believed it. Next thing you know, I'm in a "Well such & such said they saw you..." type arguments.
 
word, but from a different POV. I'm fiercely private about my relationship - I am with most things, always have been. I've had all kindsa people nosy about my love life and other private shit. I don't suffer fools and it's only ever fared me well. So on the other side of the coin, when people talk about outside influences, I simply can't relate. outsiders will know what I allow them to know and nothing more.
i wouldn't say i'm insanely private... but there's only two people in my relationship.

i don't post our business or arguments anywhere...like as much as i'm online and share online... i don't share oor arguments, or even when we're beefing....that's our shit and our shit alone......to me that's just common sense
 
i wouldn't say i'm insanely private... but there's only two people in my relationship.

i don't post our business our arguments anywhere...like as much as i'm online and share online... i don't share or arguments, o even when we're beefing....that's our shit and our shit alone......to me that's jsut common sense
yup. that's how it should be. I've had childhood friends feel a way because I wouldn't confide negative things about my relationship, saying I must want to seem perfect (like it's an equalizer to talk about how bad your man is?). Without realising that aside from a positive comment if he sends flowers or we just did something cool, I don't really flaunt my relationship either because I aint tryna catch the evil eye like that. it isn't about keeping up appearances but needlessly planting seeds that don't need to grow.

so there are people who will take your unwillingness to divulge negative shit as a bad thing, but they tend to want to feed off of negative energy for their own ends. I aint gonna participate in that.
 
yup. that's how it should be. I've had childhood friends feel a way because I wouldn't confide negative things about my relationship, saying I must want to seem perfect (like it's an equalizer to talk about how bad your man is?). Without realising that aside from a positive comment if he sends flowers or we just did something cool, I don't really flaunt my relationship either because I aint tryna catch the evil eye like that. it isn't about keeping up appearances but needlessly planting seeds that don't need to grow.

so there are people who will take your unwillingness to divulge negative shit as a bad thing, but they tend to want to feed off of negative energy for their own ends. I aint gonna participate in that.

What if your mama or dad ask, "So how is your relationship, or how is so and so" what do you tell them? They have asked this right after a week of you and your dude been arguing all day and night? Lol

Do you lie and say, everything is good in regards to your relationship Lol
 
yup. that's how it should be. I've had childhood friends feel a way because I wouldn't confide negative things about my relationship, saying I must want to seem perfect (like it's an equalizer to talk about how bad your man is?). Without realising that aside from a positive comment if he sends flowers or we just did something cool, I don't really flaunt my relationship either because I aint tryna catch the evil eye like that. it isn't about keeping up appearances but needlessly planting seeds that don't need to grow.

so there are people who will take your unwillingness to divulge negative shit as a bad thing, but they tend to want to feed off of negative energy for their own ends. I aint gonna participate in that.
yea, i don't like to brag or to drag....

so u ain't gonna hear me putting her down or going on and on and on....that's kinda why i got offended by that "parading" comment...i consciously try to avoid that......


i just always found that shit to be obnoxious and annoying, and would rather abstain from such behavior myself
 
yea, i don't like to brag or to drag....

so u ain't gonna hear me putting her down or going on and on and on....that's kinda why i got offended by that "parading" comment...i consciously try to avoid that......


i just always found that shit to be obnoxious and annoying, and would rather abstain from such behavior myself

Who do you talk to when things are not so so at home?
 
What if your mama or dad ask, "So how is your relationship, or how is so and so" what do you tell them? They have asked this right after a week of you and your dude been arguing all day and night? Lol

Do you lie and say, everything is good in regards to your relationship Lol
just say, we working shit out, and u ain't really trying to get into it......

the gonna have to respect any answer i give regardless....you ain't gotta lie, but you ain't gotta tell the,, shit u don't wanna tell them....

u grown
 
just say, we working shit out, and u ain't really trying to get into it......

the gonna have to respect any answer i give regardless....you ain't gotta lie, but you ain't gotta tell the,, shit u don't wanna tell them....

u grown

You don't think at some point, you gotta release the anger or express your thoughts about the situation?
 
What if your mama or dad ask, "So how is your relationship, or how is so and so" what do you tell them? They have asked this right after a week of you and your dude been arguing all day and night? Lol

Do you lie and say, everything is good in regards to your relationship Lol
I'd likely say something along the lines of "well, we're together, so obviously something is going right" and laugh it off because that part is true lol. I wouldn't be with them if I didn't think something was worthwhile or that the hurdle we're going through can't be overcome. I have really high standards for myself and my relationships so I wouldn't hesitate to dead it if I thought I had a relationship that didn't have at least some good. And as my parents who presumably know me, they'd know that. I don't do lukewarm.

Also, I'm more likely to pay an objective therapist to listen to my whining than I am to confide in people who will likely look that same person in the eye at dinner that weekend. That's a no-no.
 
You don't think at some point, you gotta release the anger or express your thoughts about the situation?
and i talk to my wife....

that's what being an adult is about.... communicating your feelings.....

if we can't work through some shit then what we in this for?
 
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